Look, part of this whole problem is expectation setting and communicating those expectations. We're playing a game with friends. All games have house rules that get shared up front.
Poker, you say it up front: no stakes, low stakes, or bring your 'A' game.
Pool, you say it up front: this is for fun we don't care, or one foot on the ground at all times / any touch of the cue to the ball means that was your shot / touching any ball is auto scratch.
We need to do the same.
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Nowadays, for D&D, I am straight up:
"We can play it Old School Gygax style, where I assume you are the character, and you are primarily trying to engage with this world directly to engage your deductive reasoning, acting ability, and tactics, so you will need to be explicit in what you say and do. ('I search the left-hand wall, looking for things that are out of place, like a section of stone set a bit too far inwards, or lots of wear near a certain section of the floor that will indicate foot traffic.')"
"Or, we can play it New School Heroic Fantasy style, where we both assume your character brings a certain set of knowledge to the table, you can rely on me to provide that to you sometimes, so you can let go of those details and focus on motivation, personality, and how their inner life determines how they act in a given situation. ('I'm a Dwarf with Dungeon Delver. I'd assume a secret door to the surface needs to be on an exterior wall, but what other things might my character know to look for? I'm picking the most likely place so we can get on with it. I'm losing patience with these dawdling Elves.')"
The tiniest bit of this goes so far.
