What are your player behavior rules in F2F games?

[Richards]

I thought it might have been a reference to @Piratecat's story about the gaming couple who argued over skim milk vs. whole milk.

Johnathan

 

[payn]

I thought it might have been a reference to @Piratecat's story about the gaming couple who argued over skim milk vs. whole milk.

Johnathan

Have not heard that one. Skimp milk is gross tho.

 

[pming]

Hiya!

My new player vetting thread is drifting a little, so I thought I would start this thread.

In face to face games, what are your rules regarding player behavior?

Mine, currently are:
1) No smoking indoors. (nobody smokes anymore, but its still in place).
2) No drinking.
3) No attacking other players.
4) No using pets to attack other players, even if it is your house.
5) No inciting or bribing children to attack other players, even if they're your kids.
6) Play your own gender.
7) Pants are required.
8) Verbal abuse should be kept short and to the point. If the GM says to let it go, let it go.
9) Movie quotes, especially Monty Python, are to be kept to a couple exchanges.
10) Announce 'warning', at which time the air spray should be hastily passed to you, before farting. Better still, go outside.

Let me start off with a solid... O_O

Now let me add in a bit of...

Right. Now I can reply with something more 'wordy', starting with a question: "Is this an actual thing, or are you just making something up to start a conversation"? I honestly ask because this is just so dang alien to me...a 10-point list of 'rules' in order to control another person. Because lets face it, that's exactly what it is. It's a list saying "This is how you must behave".

That said, I can understand someone WANTING to have a list...but it's so far removed from anything resembling a "reasonable expectation of play", in my mind at least, that I find it hard to understand. Some on that list, most I think actually, fall into the "Duh!" category. Like going to the drive through at a fast food point...you don't ball up your money and fast ball it into the window when the cashier opens it. Nobody should have to have a "list of things" a customer has to 'agree to' when they place their order. I mean, really... "No attacking other players"? O_O I'm pretty sure that the ACTUAL LAW covers that already under "Assault/Battery". Same with number 4 and 5. And what's up with #6? Didn't we just have a thread about this?

Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of this "list". It's...just so out there, in me personal experience. If someone comes to the table wearing shorts and has a bit of gas...well...deal with it. I'm sure the gassy person is embarrassed enough (well, unless your Z from my group...he kinda prides himself on his flatulence sometimes...much to the olfactory pain of us all...).

With #8, I'm at the stage again. Verbal abuse is "ok, but keep it to a minimum"? What does that even mean? Swearing/curse-words, period? Or launching into a tirade of vulgarities and condemnations at a player for making a choice you don't like....totally ok if it's only two or three sentences? This SHOULD be one of those obvious "Duh!" things. Try it at that drive through and see the results when you do that to the cashier who hands you a Medium Coke in stead of a Large One you thought you ordered. Common curtesy...shouldn't need a "rule".

Some of the rules, the first and second, for example, ARE reasonable to put out there as some people may just make the assumption that it's ok...I guess? Where I live (Canada), the smoking thing isn't though; here it's illegal to smoke in just about all public locations...so smokers are used to the default being "go outside, away from the entrance and open windows". May be different in other countries I reckon. The drinking, I assume alcohol, is a bit odd. I can under stand "No getting drunk", but again, back to that "Duh!" baseline. You can't get drunk in public...so just equate that to "a bunch of people who are NOT there to get drunk". Drinking, beer or wine in particular, is common enough when at a social function to be as accepted as drinking water, or a latte. Someone bringing a trio of beer's to a 5 hour game...not a problem. Someone bringing an entire case of beer...potential problem.

Anyway, the long and short of it is this: "No. I do not have a 'list' for my players to follow. If something comes up that we, as a group, find uncomfortable, we say 'no, please don't' and continue on with the game". Any new player that whipped out a 40oz bottle of vodka, sparks up a blunt, rips off their pants and then starts calling everyone names at the table isn't going to be politely asked to leave....but they WILL be leaving! (If you get my drift!)

^_^

Paul L. Ming

 

[aramis erak]

Hiya!


Let me start off with a solid... O_O

Now let me add in a bit of...

Right. Now I can reply with something more 'wordy', starting with a question: "Is this an actual thing, or are you just making something up to start a conversation"? I honestly ask because this is just so dang alien to me...a 10-point list of 'rules' in order to control another person. Because lets face it, that's exactly what it is. It's a list saying "This is how you must behave".

You've clearly not run games in public spaces.

I've had to point out what isn't acceptable more to adults than to teens at my tables. The store had to post rules on behavior... including, "Flush the toilet after use" and "Used paper towels go in the trash."

My own table rules are based upon years of both public and private, and are mostly about interpersonal at play issues, but when running a game in public, I still have to reiterate the "Wait your turn" and "Let them decide" aspects. And sometimes, "Please go wash your hands before we start." (Auto mechanic.)

When you make the expectations clear, people generally rise to them. A lot of times, gamers are poorly socialized. Not as strongly correlated as in the 80's, but still... making the list and letting people know ahead of time prevents a lot of stress later.

 

[Jd Smith1]

Right. Now I can reply with something more 'wordy', starting with a question: "Is this an actual thing, or are you just making something up to start a conversation"? I honestly ask because this is just so dang alien to me...a 10-point list of 'rules' in order to control another person. Because lets face it, that's exactly what it is. It's a list saying "This is how you must behave".

It is an 'actual thing', and yes, rules are intended to control peoples' behavior.

That said, I can understand someone WANTING to have a list...but it's so far removed from anything resembling a "reasonable expectation of play", in my mind at least, that I find it hard to understand. Some on that list, most I think actually, fall into the "Duh!" category. Like going to the drive through at a fast food point...you don't ball up your money and fast ball it into the window when the cashier opens it. Nobody should have to have a "list of things" a customer has to 'agree to' when they place their order. I mean, really... "No attacking other players"? O_O I'm pretty sure that the ACTUAL LAW covers that already under "Assault/Battery". Same with number 4 and 5. And what's up with #6? Didn't we just have a thread about this?

There is much more to the world than just your personal experiences. I don't mind players attacking other players; horseplay has always been constant; I just don't want horseplay at the table.

As to #6, I got tired of looking at a hairy, tattooed 6'3" ex-Ranger and current bouncer and trying to envision the interaction between a NPC and the player's Elf maiden. Especially in a group where sleazy, vulgar, and inappropriate humor is highly valued. It drew no complaints.

Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of this "list". It's...just so out there, in me personal experience. If someone comes to the table wearing shorts and has a bit of gas...well...deal with it. I'm sure the gassy person is embarrassed enough (well, unless your Z from my group...he kinda prides himself on his flatulence sometimes...much to the olfactory pain of us all...).

Again, it's a big world, with many different people in it.

With #8, I'm at the stage again. Verbal abuse is "ok, but keep it to a minimum"? What does that even mean? Swearing/curse-words, period? Or launching into a tirade of vulgarities and condemnations at a player for making a choice you don't like....totally ok if it's only two or three sentences? This SHOULD be one of those obvious "Duh!" things. Try it at that drive through and see the results when you do that to the cashier who hands you a Medium Coke in stead of a Large One you thought you ordered. Common curtesy...shouldn't need a "rule".

I'm not sure about your obsession with drive-throughs, but my table is a gathering of friends. Slagging each other is normal and accepted; what the rule is for is a desperate effort to keep it from wasting excessive time. There's a good reason why many game systems have used 'referee; instead of GM/DM.

Some of the rules, the first and second, for example, ARE reasonable to put out there as some people may just make the assumption that it's ok...I guess? Where I live (Canada), the smoking thing isn't though; here it's illegal to smoke in just about all public locations...so smokers are used to the default being "go outside, away from the entrance and open windows". May be different in other countries I reckon. The drinking, I assume alcohol, is a bit odd. I can under stand "No getting drunk", but again, back to that "Duh!" baseline. You can't get drunk in public...so just equate that to "a bunch of people who are NOT there to get drunk". Drinking, beer or wine in particular, is common enough when at a social function to be as accepted as drinking water, or a latte. Someone bringing a trio of beer's to a 5 hour game...not a problem. Someone bringing an entire case of beer...potential problem.

We don't game in public.

 

[aramis erak]

In re "verbal abuse" ...
the invective and profanities are weak-sauce verbal abuse. Abuse, yes, but not the most insidious forms.

The worst is "yet another idiotic idea..." or "That's all you came up with after 5 minutes?"

It's when the old guy continuously makes the kit with a stutter feel like crap.
Or the good looking girl makes snide remarks at the shy (and very attractive but low self-image) new girl who plays a bard with 16 Charisma.
Or someone says, "Hey, hurry up!" to the 17 yo with crippling arthritis, a metabolic disorder, and an infrequent stutter when he's composing their action.

When it is systematic or repetitive, that's verbal abuse. Much more insidious than the invective or profanity.

 

[Jd Smith1]

In re "verbal abuse" ...
the invective and profanities are weak-sauce verbal abuse. Abuse, yes, but not the most insidious forms.

The worst is "yet another idiotic idea..." or "That's all you came up with after 5 minutes?"

It's when the old guy continuously makes the kit with a stutter feel like crap.
Or the good looking girl makes snide remarks at the shy (and very attractive but low self-image) new girl who plays a bard with 16 Charisma.
Or someone says, "Hey, hurry up!" to the 17 yo with crippling arthritis, a metabolic disorder, and an infrequent stutter when he's composing their action.

When it is systematic or repetitive, that's verbal abuse. Much more insidious than the invective or profanity.

Ours veers between in-character ridicule, and OOC insults to manhood, etc.

For example this week one PC made a heroic, selfless, and risky effort to rescue and safeguard a non-combatant NPC in the middle of a firefight, for which the PC, and by extension the player, was regularly mocked for the remainder of the session.

 

[aramis erak]

Ours veers between in-character ridicule, and OOC insults to manhood, etc.

For example this week one PC made a heroic, selfless, and risky effort to rescue and safeguard a non-combatant NPC in the middle of a firefight, for which the PC, and by extension the player, was regularly mocked for the remainder of the session.

And that's a kind of behavior the FLGS I usually run at lists as unacceptable.
You have a very odd group.

 

[pming]

Hiya!

You've clearly not run games in public spaces.

Y'know what? You are absolutely correct. I hadn't thought of that.
I think if/when I do start running 'public' games, I'll probably have to instigate some of these...maybe. As I said, I do live in Canada, and in the Yukon (which is a 'small' community...huge land area; basically there's about 31k total Yukoners inhabiting a wilderness that is larger than the state of California...so...yeah). People tend to be more polite(?), hmmm...maybe considerate(?)...I don't know. Just more prone to bite their tongue until they get to know you I guess.

Bottom line: Point taken.

^_^

Paul L. Ming

 

[Lanefan]

And that's a kind of behavior the FLGS I usually run at lists as unacceptable.
You have a very odd group.

In this case I kinda have to defend @Jd Smith1 here, as if the players can't give each other a good-natured bad time about the ricidulous things their characters get up to then what's the point?

Once it gets past good-natured, however, shut it down.