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Pathfinder 1E What is the best way to dispose of a body?

Fauchard1520

Explorer
Let's say for the sake of argument that accidentally -- and completely through no fault of your own -- killed the the king's prized dire badger companion. What is the best way to make sure that the body (and the deed) remains undiscovered?

All Cleric spells up to 4th level available. No arcane magic though. Our sorcerer is useless.

(Comic related.)
 

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aco175

Legend
I read the title and thought I was on the wrong site and "Asking for a friend".

Easy way is to put it in your portable hole, and then you could drop that in your handy haversack- no more problems. You could just tie it to a pair of cement shoes and drop in the swamp and let the crabs take care of it.
 


Monster Summoning IV; Order summoned creature to fly off with / eat corpse? Or gentle repose and stone shape for a quick burial without any inconvenient "fermentation related issues"?
 

Eltab

Is this a moon, or is it a space station?
Locating the nearest otyugh, dire alligator, or T-Rex sounds like a good idea. "Yes, Your Majesty, we did what we could - and here is the half of the monster that did not get away from us."
 


tetrasodium

Hero
Supporter
Let's say for the sake of argument that accidentally -- and completely through no fault of your own -- killed the the king's prized dire badger companion. What is the best way to make sure that the body (and the deed) remains undiscovered?

All Cleric spells up to 4th level available. No arcane magic though. Our sorcerer is useless.

(Comic related.)
Well, create bonfire & a broom for the eventual resulting ashes is the easiest choice but if your limited to cantrip tp 4th level cleric spells... meld into stone & leave it in the wall or even better wedged in the insulation behind the wall
 



pming

Hero
I have a very similar problem in my COC game and animate dead is not an option

Me too...except mine wasn't a CoC game...mine was in Vegas two weekends ago. Thank the gods for the "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!" thing. If it wasn't for that Constitutional Amendment, I'd be screwed!

Er... just for clarification... that IS a Constitutional Amendment, right? Right?!?? O_O

;)

^_^

Paul L. Ming
 

Galandris

Adventurer
Other have proposed answers involving removing the body altogether. I think the King might try to locate his badger, possibly mustering all the kingdom's best spellcasters to inquire about the location of his pet... And you definitely don't want to have the King's trusted wizard answer "Your Majesty, I have cast Locate Object and I can say for sure that your pet has somehow melded into the stone of the Royal Bathroom. Surprised by this strange behaviour, unknown of dire badgers so far, I have asked the court chaplain to cast Speak with Dead on your cherished Fluffy, and somehow, a group of drunken adventurers seem to have been present at the moment of his demise. Would you like me to cast Zone of Truth in order to learn more details about it?"

If there is a perfectly normal body, with absolutely no cause of apparent death, old age will be blamed. The Raise Dead is one way to do it, but since a corpse is no longer a creature, you can cast Mending on it. With this simple cantrip, you'll have a dead dire badger, but in a pristine state. And it's a Cleric cantrip as well.

If the badger was a young, healthy one or if you fear a full-blown investigation, the best way is to find a scapegoat. Restore the body in a normal state, then put it into boiling water. Then, cast Modify Memory on a kitchen servant to implant the memory of tripping while carrying a boiling water keg, and tripping just on poor Fluffy. A corpse, a culprit, several eyewitnesses (the PCs), a credible story: who would think anything else than what the PCs are telling happened? It's better to select a servant with an history of having problem with the hierarchy: the sooner the servant is executed, the sooner you'll be able to sleep well after commiting the heinous deed of hurting the king's dire badger! The only drawback is that you'll have to buy a scroll of Modify Memory and find someone to cast it.

If it's too complicated to acquire this help, the best way is to create a real memory. If a Druid is available, the UA "Summon bestial spirit" let's you summon a dire badger. Have it run at the kitchen servant and manufacture the accident. Then dispel the summoning and yell "poor Fluffy, he died of boiling water just at my feet!" In the ruckus, nobody will look at the PCs, probably trying to help the cook, and the deed will be done. If you can't summon bestial spirit... casting animate dead on the body seems to best way to deal with it, but you'll have to plead with your GM to have him allow Animate Dead to be cast on a Tiny Non-humanoid instead of Small or Medium humanoid by RAW. You'll get a zombie version of Fluffy, so be prepared to cast three instances of Thaumaturgy to make it look better.

Edit: my bad, you're using Pathfinder. Then you can Mend the cadaver and Summon Minor Monster to get your 1d3 badger, one of which you send at the cook. At the same time, you cast Bestow Curse to harm the cook's Dexterity beforehand and timely cast a Burning Disarm to make sure he drops the boiling water keg just as your summoned badger run at his feet. This version is even better than Modify Memory, because you'll have other eyewitness from the kitchen, and they'll be able to attest that the servant was clumsy all day since the morning, no wonder this accident happened as he was obviously not concentrated on his work... You might even get a bounty for turning the culprit to the King!
 
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TheSword

Legend
Supporter
If it’s pathfinder summon celestial/fiendish pigs to eat the badger. “They go through bones like butter.” When they return to their plane, no locate creature spell is going to work, and no working jaw.
 


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