What is the cleverest thing you've done to get out of a bad situation?

[BlackMoria]

In one campagin as a player, my character got scarfed down by a purple worm.

I was frantically trying to figure a way out of the gullet because I only had a knife for a light weapon and I was of a class not renowned for its melee combat effectiveness. With horror, I realize that it was going to take about 5 rounds or more for me to cut my way out.

Then I remembered my Daern's Instant Fortress....


The result, shall we say, was very graphical, spectacular and extremely effective.

 

[Rel]

I am still worshipped as a minor deity to this day. But I only manifest my divine presence in their plane when the odds look hopeless, the chips are down, the PC's backs are against the wall, and the restraining order is no longer in effect.

Yeah, that's cool, but isn't that the "fourth wall"?

 

[Swedish Chef]

1st Ed, playing an Illrigger (LE Anti-Paladin) from a Best of Dragon article. The entire group is made up of various races, alignments and classes. I only remember the LG Paladin, as we were always fighting, even though we had both been compelled to complete the quest together.

Approaching the end, we come across the BBEG's Second in Command, leading a large number of various henchbeings. It looks to be a long, protracted battle with a very doubtful outcome for us. But, being the snotty, arrogant Illrigger that I was, I call for a Parley. The DM, rather bemused, concedes the the SiC will meet me to parley, expecting me to surrender. Of course, I don't. Instead, I challenge the SiC to a duel, mano-a-mano. He agrees. We begin the battle. I win initiative. I call Head Shot.

Best Natural 20 of my life. Especially with the Natural 100 (Slashing weapon - Opponent Decapitated) I rolled on the old Critical Hits & Fumbles Chart from another Best of Dragon issue.
The look on my DM's face - priceless.

 

[F5]

2nd Edition game, and I'm playing a halfling bard, infamous among the party for his ability to cause copious amounts of trouble with whatever meagre resources are at hand. He was about 6th level, I think.

We are camped in the woods, watching a huge gathering of Orcs. The disparate tribes of Orcs were all coming togther, under the influence/guidance of one of the campaigns' Big Bads, for what we assumed to be some seriously bad mojo. We needed to get more information on what was going on.

I ask if there are any orcish children running around the encampment. The DM says yes, a fair number of them. So, Binwyn grubbies himself up with mud, wraps himself in a old rags, melts a candle to serve as a prosthetic snout, and a baby orc is born. He simply walks into camp, wanders around pretty much ignored. Binwyn was using one of the kits from the Bard's Handbook, so he had the ability to interperet any spoken language. When an orc shouts "hey, kid, get out of the way!" he scampers away to see what else he can see, until he's shooed away by anothr adult who's too busy to pay attention to a kid. In this way, he gets around most of the camp.

So, having infiltrated the camp, Binwyn is at ground zero when the Orcish high priest summons some kind of colossal gorilla. I am told that I'll have time to cast one spell before it has a chance to act, but I will almost certainly be noticed and probably fed to the gorilla monster. Smart thing to do would be to send a message to the rest of the party, to go get help. I chose not-so-smart. Binwyn casts a phantasmal force (2e illusion spell), and calls up a similarly giant gorilla, which starts an aggressive dominance display. The orcish shamans see through the illusion easily, but the big, dumb gorilla doesan't care. It charges the interloper and smashes through the High priests' platform. Binwyn's illusion nibly dodges and weaves out of the way, taunting the giant ape, which chases after it, trampling the gathered Orcish hordes in the process. Having lost control of their super-weapon, the horde scatters and runs for their lives.

After the fact, I had fun explaining to the rest of the party what, exactly, just happened.

 

[kingamy]

One general clever thing, and one specific

General:

When using silent image, I try to make the image a person trying (but failing) to be sneaky, to explain the lack of sound (ie. high Move Silently but low Hide checks).

Specific:

My friend had a halfing illusionist, I had a half-orc druid, both 4th level.

There was a building we had to get into, that was guarded by archers on a plank platform up above the only door.

The illusionist conjured up an illusion of a random big beastie, and it moved to smash the platform the archers wre standing on. At the same time I threw a warp wood spell at the platform and the archers tumbled off. The DM didn't even give them a disbelief save, they ran for their lives.

Mike Haakstad

 

[TheBadElf]

I was playing my favorite character ever - Tobbin Greencap, a Gnome Druid / Shifter of very high levels (I think he was around 23rd level or so). The party was engaged in a running fight in a cavern / tunnel complex, and Tobbin was scouting ahead in bat form. He encountered a formation of very tough looking hobgoblin troops. One of them, for reasons I still don't understand, took a shot at Tobbin and scored a critical hit that the DM interpreted as knocking him out of the air and into the middle of the formation. Tobbin didn't really want to let the hobgoblins stomp him or pull his wings off or whatever it was that they planned on doing, so...

He shifted into an extremely large Bone Ooze in the middle of the formation, engulfing the whole squad. The DM ruled that this would activate the ooze's special ability to remove its victims' skeletons.

The group still shudders when the "bone ooze attack" comes up in conversation.

 

[WayneLigon]

We've been kicked off our home continent and we've travelled to a desert land. Arricing with little more than the clothes on our backs, we've managed to make a start as caravan guards and sellswords.

We're escroting this caravan across the desert when we discover to our horror that one of the other guards is in the pay of a rival and has poisoned all the water save the amount it took to get us this far. We cannot make it back to town, no way. So the group goes in search of water.

We find a large cave opening. 'Aha', think we, 'Caves are usually formed by running water, let us hope there is some here'. So we troop into the cave. It winds and goes further down until we come into a large cavern with a lake of lava in the center. 'No water here', we decide and turn to leave.

Boom! A huge efreet appears and creates a wall of fire across the entrance. Then four others appear. We're like fifth level or something so we know there is no way we're fighting one efreet let alone five, with one being some kind of king or something. We're dead meat.

My character, an affable young thief, is trying his best to think of a way out. So are the others. Then.. then I remember other encounters we've had and how the GM has really played up this 'hospitality' thing. Guests do not attack hosts... and visa-versa. Desperate as the huge efreet close in slowly, I jerk this flask of date wine off my belt and wave it at the big efreet.

"What, is this the fabled hospitality of the noble efreet? We've brought wine and food and tales and here we are about to be run through like dogs?! Our shades will have much to tell, then, and none will dare darken your door again!"

The other players look at me like I've gone nuts. The GM smiles, claps and the efreet king waves off his minions, since even hideous monsters obey this code.

 

[WayneLigon]

Another one I just remembered.

We're middle level characters, and we're negotiating along this dry canyon floor. Rocky shards and water-sculpted towers of rock dot the floor. Suddenly we're set upon by wyverns! It looks bad, there's about eight or nine of them. The fighters shoot arrows, others do what they can... and my thief/illusionist is like 'Not much here that I can .. do...'.

I turn one of the large rocky pillars invisible, then put it between myself and a wyvern. 'Hey! Over here, ugly!' he goes. Wyvern sees person without weapons, without even armor, and dives for him. WHAM! Right into the invisible pillar. Dead wyvern.

Wyverns, not being the brightest of God's creatures, fall for this like four or five more times before they give up and fly off.

 

[hero4hire]

In a OD&D game I had an Elven Fighter/Wizard (Kenthadrus Battlemage) who for some reason was running a guantlet of traps and foes. I came to a BBEG and was almost outta spells. He started to wallop me pretty good. So I ran, he pursued and I lured him on top of this spike/pit trap I circumvented earlier. (The BBEG was like me and teleported to this maze, the only way out was to off the other.) Anyhoo down he goes into the trap. I jumped for glee...Only too quickly see him slowly start to levitate out of the trap. His eyes crackled with power, an angry look on his face. I cast my only spell left, Wizard Lock, onto the trap which reset itself, and thereby crushing the BBEG from the waist down....And there was much rejoicing.


Same character was on some dungeon crawl where the party was getting harrassed by these pick pocketing Pygmie type creatures. They would hit us, snatch something and run for thier tunnel holes. To small for us to follow. The next time one got me, I managed to cast Enlarge on him just as he entered his hole, making him stuck in his own tunnel. A very satisfying result...And there was much torturing.

 

[fafhrd]

Yeah, that's cool, but isn't that the "fourth wall"?

It's a common misconception for people who grew up watching the cartoon.