What the heck is going on with the professional RPG industry in regards to Zak S?

[Shasarak]

As someone who has worked in the criminal justice system- albeit briefly- I can attest that “it is the man that gets arrested every single time.” is untrue. In fact most states have laws that dictate that, in a domestic dispute, responding officers must remove- but not necessarily arrest[/I— at least one participating party (spouse, significant other, child, parent, roommate, renter, etc.) from the premises. Who gets removed is situationally dependent, and officers recieve training on how to assess who should go, including asking all involved if they have a safe place to spend the rest of the evening. They can even ask for someone to voluntarily leave, at which point a volunteer will be granted time and access to the premises to recover some personal effects with police protection.

If you continue being a hothead and don’t listen to the cops, or worse, resist restraint attempts or take a swing at one, you WILL get arrested. If the responding officers are aware of a repeated pattern of behavior that results in multiple call-outs to the same address, someone WILL get arrested.

Summing up,

1) it isn’t always the man who gets hauled off;
2) being removed does not equal arrested, and may even be voluntary;
3) arrests usually only occur if someone wants to press charges or is unresponsive to the lawful orders of the officers.

The question is, how is that applied in the field? I have seen quotes from a Police Officer saying that they will arrest the man without exception even when it is the man who has been wounded.

 

[Immortal Sun]

Now you’re making assumptions about me, and that means you’re making an ass of...well, definitely you.

I didn’t want to bring it up, but I have experience with domestic violence outside of the scope of my employment. Two of my aunts were physically abused by spouses. One fought back and gave her attacker a nice shiner...and still lost.

I know a Marine whose wife would wait until he was asleep before tying him to the bed and beating him.

I have a cousin who was attacked by an in-laws wife on his front lawn- and contrary to your assertion, he was not arrested. She was removed, but not arrested.

I don't mean to be rude, but you know his game right? Don't play it. Report him for being the sexist, lying troll he is and move on. I'd love to, but this forum's wonderful block function means I can't report anyone who blocks me, no matter what else they do.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

The question is, how is that applied in the field? I have seen quotes from a Police Officer saying that they will arrest the man without exception even when it is the man who has been wounded.

That is probably an officer in need of more training.

There was an incident on a 2018 episode of Live PD in which the man- who has been stabbed (IOW, was the victim)- was about to be hauled off...but a few seconds later, the issue was cleared up with a few more questions. The correct person was arrested; the victim got a trip to the hospital.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I don't mean to be rude, but you know his game right? Don't play it. Report him for being the sexist, lying troll he is and move on. I'd love to, but this forum's wonderful block function means I can't report anyone who blocks me, no matter what else they do.

I don’t ignore anyone. Sometimes, the ones we most want to ignore are the ones who most need our attention.

I may report him, I might not. But my answers are less for him and more for those reading.

 

[Gradine]

Sometimes, “Don’t feed the trolls” refers to whole threads. Especially when the thread is reigniting a discussion that was already shut down before.

Concern trolls and MRA talking-point parrots aside, it’s pretty obvious that the current cultural zeitgeist surrounding sexual harassment and sexualized violence is finally hitting the tabletop games industry. That’s great news. It means the industry and community as a whole is finally taking a stand against unacceptable behavior that has run pretty rampant in the past. This allows the community to be safer and as a result more inclusive.

I struggle to find a more reasonable reaction than suspicion to those who see all of this as a negative.

 

[billd91]

So why is his product still available for sale at OneBookshelf? Apparently con organisers believe he's a sexual predator (although I'm curious if they have banned him from their CONS). His apology did seem to contain a certain amount of "I'm not going to dispute those allegations" which isn't quite as close as "I admit they're true" but seemed to be awfully leaning that way.

Either he tried (and failed) to sexually harass someone, or he was falsely accused. Are sexual harassers acceptable in OneBookshelf's eyes? Do they have to escalate to sexual assault before they get removed? Is that okay to the greater community?

Probably, among other things, because they (Paizo, Frog God, and the victim of the harassment) dealt with the situation at the convention and the immediate aftermath and Webb's been on notice about his behavior enough to keep it under control. That's a pretty stark contrast with Zak S already. There's continuing fallout, but as long as Webb manages to keep his nose clean and pressure stays on him to do so, rehabilitation is probably possible without such drastic measures.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Also, FWIW, the highest number I have seen from any hotline, police, or academic source is that 33% of males face domestic abuse in their lifetime. The last 3 words are key: just like for women, “lifetime” includes victimization as a child. 1 in 5 female and 1 in 7 males who experience rape are first victimized between 11-17.

 

[billd91]

I struggle to find a more reasonable reaction than suspicion to those who see all of this as a negative.

All of it as a negative? Definitely not - addressing problems is positive. But I can't say I don't see some negative things going on and maybe there's a little too much absolutism. For example, I can understand the GaryCon boycott pressure over naming Bill Webb and Frank Mentzer guests of honor - and both have had the honorific rescinded. But I still don't get why Tim Kask is named in the boycott too.

 

[Sadras]

Sometimes, “Don’t feed the trolls” refers to whole threads. Especially when the thread is reigniting a discussion that was already shut down before.

...(snip)...

I struggle to find a more reasonable reaction than suspicion to those who see all of this as a negative.

Dialogue is good even if you disagree and no matter the topic of conversation - be it politics, religion or otherwise. People are becoming less tolerant of disagreement which, for me, is a bad thing.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Dialogue is good even if you disagree and no matter the topic of conversation - be it politics, religion or otherwise. People are becoming less tolerant of disagreement which, for me, is a bad thing.

While I never met the people in question, I am inspired by a rabbi who listened to and talked with his victimizers instead of ignoring them. Back in the 1990s, he and his family were being harrassed by phone calls from a white supremacist. Instead of hanging up or yelling or any of theexpected behaviors most of us would understand, he engaged. Every phone call, he asked why the man was so angry; if there was something he could do to help him. Usually, he netted more abuse.

And then one day, his abuser actually answered the rabbi’s questions, opening a dialog between them. Eventually, they met face to face.

Long story short, the white supemacist abandoned his hateful ideology.

Darryl Davis has been doing the same thing for a while, too.
https://www.npr.org/2017/08/20/5448...0-ku-klux-klan-members-to-give-up-their-robes

I can’t say I’ve ever converted anyone into abandoning hateful ideologies, and I definitely don’t have the inner peacefulness or calm demeanor of those guys I mentioned. But I can still aspire to their examples.