What to do...

[Water Bob]

With my games, we couldn't set a particular night and just play that day, like a poker night. Too many schedules and things to juggle. And, at least in my experience, the one set time, every month or every week, is key to having people not show up. Because people are busy. Five months down the line, one player's daughter has a volleyball game at that time. Or, grandma is in town. Or their wedding anniversary fall on that day. Or, we all forgot that one of the game nights was a holiday. Whatever.

Yes, I do the negotiation that [MENTION=463]S'mon[/MENTION] dreads at the end of each game. Many times, it takes a few days. And, it is work. So and so can't play Friday, but he's open Mon through Wed. But, a different so and so can only play Thurs this week.

Yep, it's sometimes a juggle.

But, if your players want to play, they make finding the game a priority. So, it usually isn't that much of a problem.

But, yeah, I've always had all players show up or I don't run the game. This has been true whether I was running two players through my campaign (as I'm doing now) or a group or 8 or 12.

 

[Stumblewyk]

For the record, both my wife and I play in a (mostly) weekly game, (mostly) every Sunday night. The game's been running for about 2.5 years now, and there are 6 of us in total (including GM). We all work on Monday mornings.

It really isn't all that difficult to pull off. Don't let this be an obstacle to you finding a game.

 

[S'mon]

With my games, we couldn't set a particular night and just play that day, like a poker night. Too many schedules and things to juggle. And, at least in my experience, the one set time, every month or every week, is key to having people not show up. Because people are busy. Five months down the line, one player's daughter has a volleyball game at that time. Or, grandma is in town. Or their wedding anniversary fall on that day. Or, we all forgot that one of the game nights was a holiday. Whatever.

I prioritise the game - eg my sister or parents call:

"Can we visit on weekend X?"

I check diary:
"You can come on Saturday of X. I'll be out (ie at a game) on the Sunday".

I incorporate my games into my schedule. I think I have some trouble understanding why some other people can't/don't do that. I suppose neither approach is objectively better, but they're definitely incompatible - like I said, as GM I can tolerate unreliable players, at least if they let me know they won't be coming, but as a player I can't tolerate a GM who cancels, and a GM who constantly shifts the game to accommodate other players would be equally intolerable. I can tell my wife "Mondays are game night", but I can't tell her "Oh yeah, next week I'm playing on Wednesday" - she might have something planned for Wednesday. And having to constantly negotiate schedules with her would get really tiring really fast.

 

[Water Bob]

I think I have some trouble understanding why some other people can't/don't do that.

For me, it's a respect issue. As GM, I put a TON of work into the game. If you agree to show up and then cancel, you're not only disrespecting your fellow players' time (all of them had things to do, too, and they got here), but you're also disrespecting the incredible amount of work I put into the game for both of us.

It's just a deal breaker for me. We'll work around important stuff. And, we all realize that sometimes things do come up and the set-in-stone game date has to be moved. But, I want my players to want to be there. And, I want them to prioritize it in their lives. I don't want to hear that you can't come to the game because you and your SO decided to go out to dinner at the last moment. You knew about the game, so if you want to play, you need to make every effort to be there.

Now, if your kid is sick and your wife is working, then, yeah, let's move the game. Things like that happen in life. But for the other games, do what you can to keep your commitment to the game and your fellow players.

(I'm using the generalized "You", not speaking of anyone specific.)

 

[S'mon]

For me, it's a respect issue. As GM, I put a TON of work into the game. If you agree to show up and then cancel, you're not only disrespecting your fellow players' time (all of them had things to do, too, and they got here), but you're also disrespecting the incredible amount of work I put into the game for both of us.

It's just a deal breaker for me. We'll work around important stuff. And, we all realize that sometimes things do come up and the set-in-stone game date has to be moved. But, I want my players to want to be there. And, I want them to prioritize it in their lives. I don't want to hear that you can't come to the game because you and your SO decided to go out to dinner at the last moment. You knew about the game, so if you want to play, you need to make every effort to be there.

Now, if your kid is sick and your wife is working, then, yeah, let's move the game. Things like that happen in life. But for the other games, do what you can to keep your commitment to the game and your fellow players.

(I'm using the generalized "You", not speaking of anyone specific.)

I don't think we're that far apart, really. I saw you mention you only had 2 players; a 2-player character-focused game will require that both show up. And while I try to tolerate player absences, it's still annoying if I create material for a specific player and they don't show.

 

[Water Bob]

I don't think we're that far apart, really. I saw you mention you only had 2 players; a 2-player character-focused game will require that both show up. And while I try to tolerate player absences, it's still annoying if I create material for a specific player and they don't show.

This is one of the smallest games I've ever had. But, even when I run 5, 8, and 12 person games (I'd say my average game is 4-6 players plus GM), the requirement is the same. Everybody needs to show up.

Also by having that requirement, I find that there's a certain pressure that people feel. It's usually not me giving someone grief for not showing up. It's one or two of the players who want to play and have had to put it off because of the other person.

I have found that being stern about this as a GM has led to people showing up being a no brainer. I've rarely had issues about it in the past.

 

[Dave0047]

I agree with several posts here.

If I'm putting the effort into DMing I expect people who agreed to show up and game initially to stick to their guns, especially if I'm only running a 4-5 player group. Don't get me wrong, real life happens, but missing several consecutive meet-ups is inexcusable for how much time and effort I am putting into the campaign for all of our enjoyment. On the flip side, if I were running a larger group, it would be insane to think I could have everyone present all of the time, so absences would be excused as long as a vast majority of the group was there.

I have no reservations about progressing the story without "essential players" present, but I have noticed since 2005 when I started DM/GMing that if you do it too many times (because they are missing sessions for various reasons) they are not only going to lose more interest but they probably already have.

A lot of people take GMing for granted, so much so that it's probably the main reason roleplaying isn't more popular than it already is. Someone has to "take one for the team" and spend precious time and even money on getting these things organized and presentable while everyone else gets to show up (or not), roll dice, and complain that things aren't going their way. I imagine a lot of GMs have given up simply because their play group or individuals therein are completely unappreciative or supportive. I mean, if you're saying "Yes" that you'll join a campaign and you're going to show up weekly, you need to follow through. You're basically entering into a friendly verbal contract saying that you'll put in the face-time with the GM while he puts in the hard work for you.

So, it really confuses my why my current/former GM would want 7 players in his group but wouldn't run a session without ALL OF THEM present. He is lazy, so if someone just so happened to call out, it gave him the excuse of not being able to run the game that evening. I mean, it's not like he ever had more than the first session planned out (for the last few times we met, he just threw together an encounter using an encounter builder program, and said "go!").

Either way, I have now recruited him as a player (he at least always shows up when he is a player) along with a few other people already for a Mass Effect campaign using the Star Wars Saga Edition rules.



Which ironically brings me to my next point. I discovered the other night after a bit of searching the intarwebzz that the Mass Effect PDF I put together on the Wizards boards a few years back got around quite a bit, and found its way here to the EN World boards! I was even seeing comments here that it was "very well put together". It made my day reading that! I put in a TON of hard work compiling all of the posts in that thread over at WotC, refining them a tiny bit, and slapping them into a somewhat-organized PDF. I'm actually working on the Version 2.0 of that document that edits for consistency, grammar, spelling, and fleshes out a lot more of the abilities and enemies, and even adds Manufacturer templates to weapons and armor for the 20+ Manufacturers there are in the ME setting. I have a decent amount left to do on the document as a whole (roughly 30%) but my players are dying to get going, and I happen to have a ton of spare time at work while on the night shift, so I think I might crank it out over the next few weeks.

So thanks for the kind words, and thanks for the advice in this thread!

 

[Water Bob]

A lot of people take GMing for granted, so much so that it's probably the main reason roleplaying isn't more popular than it already is. Someone has to "take one for the team" and spend precious time and even money on getting these things organized and presentable while everyone else gets to show up (or not), roll dice, and complain that things aren't going their way.

LOL. Yep, I'm in touch with that emotion.

I will say, though, that I like GMing more than I like playing.

I'm a strange beast that way.