What to say when someone calls RPGs "Evil" [Humor]

[Angcuru]

Someone who was obsessed with Nascar asked my why I liked D&D on time at the campus cafeteria. Went word for word like this:

Nascar Dude : Wut's that thar book yer readin'?

Me : It's a Dungeons and Dragons book.

ND : Shee-oot. That thar stoopid hobbie wit the pretendin' ta be elfies in yer momma's basement stuff?

Me : ...

ND : Sheet, that shur is a dumass thing ta be doin'.

Me : Well what do YOU like to do?

ND : NASCAR! Best thingy ever.

Me : You mean the inane practice of watching overpaid 'professionals' drive really fast and make a left?

ND : Whut?

Me : *packs up and leaves*

I hate people so much.

 

[Whimsical]

"Did you know that the number of people who have commited suicide because of their Christian faith is several orders of magnitude greater than the number of people who have commited suicide because of D&D?"

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

You're obviously not playing in the right gaming groups.

Ok...at least riotous car-burning gamers don't make the evening news.

Usually.

 

[Henry]

Angcuru, you missed your chance! In fact, I use NASCAR when I teach NASCAR fans about D&D!

NASCAR Fan: So, you play D&D?
Henry: Yeah, I'm a pretty big fan.
NF:Isn't that game like, supposed to be evil, or something?
H:Nah, in fact, it's just a hobby, just like stock car racing.
NF:So you have cars in D&D?
H:No, but you know how on race weekend, you got a buncha people sitting around, taking about their favorite drivers, talking about who won what race, what their times were, who's the better driver, what their statistics are, and cheering when your favorite guy wins?
NFnods)
H:Same deal. Except we're creating characters that we put through situations like action-adventure movies, and one guy is telling us what they face, and we come up with what they do to succeed.
NF:Uh... huh. What's that got to do with it?
H:We sit around a table, talking about these characters, talking about our favorite characters, what deadly adventures they survived, which character is better, what their statistics are, and we cheer when our guy wins.


If you have a football fan, it's even easier. Just tell them:

-You've heard of Fantasy Football?
-Yeah.
-It's just like that, only it uses King Arthur, Merlin, and Conan instead of football stars.

 

[GuardianLurker]

Ah, back to the [Humor] tag this thread was supposed to have:

Player: "Oh dear. You're dsylexic aren't you?"
Non-Player: "Huh?"
P: "You've got that backwards. D & D isn't evil, it's LIVE..."
P: "... from New York! It's Saturday Night!"
[cue theme]

 

[diaglo]

Ok...at least riotous car-burning gamers don't make the evening news.

Usually.

haven't read the recent PC Gamer yet, have you?

i tell them to meet me in the steam tunnels below MSU if they want to find out what D&D is really all about. otherwise, it is a game i play with friends.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

You don't say anything at all. You just stare at them for a second and then laugh manically.

OK, OK....

The answer depends. If the person you're talking about is a player of computer games, you can say "about as evil as playing halo" (or whatever).

If not, kill them and ta.... OK, I won't!

The best answer I heard to something like that (though it was not about D&D, but about Music) was when a friend of mine went to a concert (some metal stuff, the real hard issue, no AC/DC). Some women tried to shut the concert down before, and there was a lot of it in the local newspapers - she calling the whole thing satanic and all.

At the evening he went, his parents asked him, where he went, and when he told him, the following occured:
"You go to that satanic concert?"
"Yes, mother, of course. I sacrifice a goat in the celler every night, too!"

 

[Stormborn]

1. "Why, yes...yes it is. Your point?"
2. "What? No way! According to Crowley in the Statement of Principles given to the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn he clearly states that...."
3. "Geeez....not EVERYTHING I do is Satanic, a fella has to have a break sometime."
4. "Satanic? No, I don't like the competition."
5. From a member of my congregation: "My pastor doesn't think so. And he's a 6th level Sorcerer."

 

[Rafael Ceurdepyr]

I always play, for those new to D&D (and for my mother, who all of a sudden wondered after over 25 years of my playing that it was evil), the wonderfully funny MP3 by the Dead Alewives, exposing "for the first time" what goes on in an actual D&D game. [I played that for Mom at Thanksgiving--I think she's over the whole evil thing now.] Search it on Google. Should be required for all gamers.

Player: "So I can cast any of these spells?"
DM: "Any of the first level ones."
Player: I'm casting...Magic Missile!
DM: What are you casting it at, it's dark, you can't see anything!
Player: I'm...I'm attacking the darkness!

I could go on and on quoting it...

 

[tonym]

D&D? "Evil"? Oh, puh-leeeze.
I can count the people I've murdered on ONE hand...



Tony M