Wait. I changed my mind. The D&D movie should be a musical.
Dungeons & Dragons: Underdark Story
"When you're a Drow,
You're a Drow all the way
From your first jet black cowl
To your last dyin' day.
When you're a Drow,
If your butt hits the pan,
You got brothers around,
You're a family man!
You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When company's expected,
You're well protected!"
****
"The Underdark
Your lovely silence . . .
A land of whistling breezes.
Always the stalagmites growing,
Always the fungi are glowing . . .
The Underdark . . .
You dangerous land . . .
A land of mythic diseases.
Always the fungal spores blowing,
Always the population growing . . .
And the money owing,
And the servants crying,
And the doom bats flying.
I like where people can fatten.
Smoke on your pipe and put that in!
I like to be in the surface world!
O.K. by me in the surface world!
Ev'rything free in the surface world
For a small fee in the surface world!"