What would happen in your game?

[nedjer]

And the bartender says, "Let me guess, a Brandy Sour, a Slow Screw, and a Potion of Healing?"

Beat me to it no can XP guy

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

And the bartender says, "Let me guess, a Brandy Sour, a Slow Screw, and a Potion of Healing?"

I was thinking a Virgin Bloody Mary, an Icepick, and an Absinthe...with PoH chaser.

 

[Jacob Marley]

She slaps them across the face! Because clearly, it was no accident.

 

[jonesy]

In our game?

The wizard immediately hooks up with a barmaid or two, the rogue starts up a card game, and the paladin was already drinking before he came in and sets up fortress next to the barkeep. Then the two elves walk in and the countdown for a bar fight begins.

 

[Dioltach]

In our game, it would be a paladin, a rogue and a wizard *walks* into a bar ...

 

[LurkAway]

The slender comely Rogue is accosted inside the bar by a big brutish fellow, and accuses her of theft. The Paladin steps in and orders the fellow to keep his hands to himself, and to explain what his issue is. After hearing both sides of the story (the Rogue is QUITE convincing), the Paladin searches the bar, and his eyes settle on the wise looking wizard, who he calls forth to judge the case...

But suddenly a cleric casts a Zone of Truth and determines the Rogue was lying and she screams YOU HAVE RUINED THE GAME FOR EVERYONE!!! And the now suspicious Paladin detects evil on the Rogue, so she hits him with her ale glass, a bar fight erupts, and a new bar opens up across the street with a sign 'No detect spells allowed'.

 

[TheOmnibusDriver]

The Paladin kicks down the nearest door, regardless of whether or not it is impeding their progress. The rogue then proceeds to steal any and all doorknobs in the room for sale later. The wizard then proceeds to set the remnants of the door on fire.

Some groups just really hate doors.

 

[LurkAway]

And the bartender says, "You guys can't be back here. Last time, the controller wouldn't take the rack off the billard balls, the striker kept throwing all his darts during other players' turns, and the defender kept moving people to different squares in the football pool."

Am I supposed to enjoy these jokes in Actor, Author or Director stance?

In Actor stance, it makes no sense.

 

[Umbran]

The guy playing the rickety old upright piano in the corner would stop mid-tune, and a dreadful silence would fall over the room as all eyes would turn to the newcomers.

One greasy-looking individual at the bar would shoot down the last of his whiskey, turn to the characters and finger his handlebar mustache as his hand drifted to the Army Colt revolver at his hip. He'd drawl, "What in tarnation are you strangers dressed up for?" Glancing over the wizard, he'd continue, "I know back East they have some highfalutin' ways, but I'm pretty sure even those sissys don't wear dresses. Leastwise, not in public...."

(I run Classic Deadlands, you see)

 

[Desdichado]

In my game? The rogue's probably fine. The paladin gets a bunch of weird stares. "What in the world are you supposed to be, anyway?" The wizard, assuming he displays his magical aptitude openly, gets taken out back and lynched.