What's a 'dumpy' tavern like?

Kilmore said:
Well, the locals will be used to it. Newcomers might have trouble with the chow.

Hm, I ate in that place in Amsterdam... on the plane home I passed out in the toilet, head down on the floor in my own vomit... 2 weeks of salmonella poisoning later I was delirious with fever and badly dehydrated, my wife took me to the hospital A&E where a saline drip and some aspirin sorted me out. Hurrah! :eek:
 

log in or register to remove this ad


Some great comments here. :-)

An old TSR supplement describing Daggerdale described a rather dumpy tavern there. It was set in the basement of a burnt-out building, had different stairs for leaving and entering (to avoid fights on the stairs), the tables were all nailed down, you had to pay a refundable fee for the chairs so you wouldn't be inclined to smash them over someones head, everyone minded their own business etc. I'm guessing it was "Volo's guide to the Dalelands" or something similar, the "Guide Rouge" of the Realms :-)
 

Firetrap :D

The floors are most likely straw covered (old) and you can see movment under it every now and then, it is matted with spilled drink, trash, vomit, and piss. Everytime a pillar is bumped, dust drifts down from a water stained cealing that looks like smoke is doing a better job holding up than the supports (which have their own supports).

The cast of characters, look like the town drunks from every bad TV show you ever saw, some are on the floor which the cockroaches going threw their pockets like muggers.

Then the smell, thick nasty, burning up your nose and sitting on your tongue. Sweat, piss, smell of men that have never washed, no wonder the open flames look dim, there is not enough Oxygen for them to burn and what they are burning is casting a green light.

Okay, a bit more of a drive. :p
 

Dark, dingy, dirty, uncomfortable.

After waiting at the bar for some minutes, the barkeep walks in apologetically and wipes his hands on his apron. He relates a tale of woe about the problem outhouse and then asks what he can do you for?

After asking for an ale, he grabs a mug for you cleaning it off 'all nice like' with the same excrement stained apron and pours you a beer.

Another patron blows chunks into a nearby table. The barkeep tells old soggy eyes to head home and 'cleans' the table with a deft wipe of his apron.
 

Yeah, I had a tavern like this in my campaign. Had the moldy rotten straw, puke and urine all over the floor, the patrons smelled like they wallowed in a cesspool, and there were dead rats floating belly up in the ale kegs. There were rats running all around the floor, and instead of darts, the half-orc patrons amused themsleves by stomping the rats.
 

Well,

It would be white, Round, & have all the King's Men & all the King's Horses.....

Wait, that's a HUMPTY-DUMPTY Tavern.

In that case forget everything except the bit about all the king's horses. They spent one week there & left last night. Watch where you step & when people complain about the "Horse-Piss" Ale. Take it seriously.
 

I think a key is the total absence of disposal systems for human waste. One may find it under the straw, piled/dumped in a corner, dripping down outside walls when chamber pots have been ineffectively dumped out the windows.
 

Mud -- I forgot mud. When it rains, the dirt floor practically liquifies, swallowing most of the straw and, because of the traffic inside, the mud will be thicker and gooier than outside on the road. Of course, horse manure easily blends into a mud-straw mix...
 

Details from places I have actually visited;

The floors are covered in sawdust. Any spills, urine, etc are covered in more sawdust. The corners are piled high with the stuff.

Someone has attempted top spruce things up by making curtains out of old shirts - without first removing the tell tail sweat (and blood) stains.

The "professional" girls have used blankets to rope off a corner for their business.

The bartender watches someone go face down on the counter then either dumps the dregs of the drunk's glass back into the pitcher or offers it to a regular at a cut rate.

The bartender demands a larger tip or threatens to tell the thugs in the corner you have more money than you really do.
 

Remove ads

Top