What's the Most Asinine Character Idea/Concept You've Dealt With?

[NewJeffCT]

This was back in 2E days.

But, one new guy to our gaming group wanted to play a kender paladin-thief based on Batman. WTF? Kender are pretty chaotic, paladins are limited to Lawful Good and can't multi-class in 2E. Plus, how can anybody read about kender (love 'em or hate 'em) and think Batman? Plus, in 2E, only humans could be paladins.

The DM nixed his suggestion, so this guy ended up playing a human paladin, named Bwayne (get it? Bruce Wayne... heh heh heh, so clever, eh? Needless to say, the guy only lasted that one weekend.)

Funny story, though. A year or so later, I was contacted by a gaming couple that had moved into the area and we exchanged some emails and they said how they were having problems meeting new gamers, and had a bad experience with this strange chap who had wanted to play a kender paladin-thief based on The Batman.

So, this guy was probably wandering from group to group trying to get somebody to accept his idea...

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Apparently, he's one of the lesser known immortals.

 

[Kzach]

Has the drow with sunglasses been mentioned yet?

 

[Dice4Hire]

Well, I had this really weird guy who wanted to buy a mule in 4E.

http://www.enworld.org/forum/4e-discussion/309924-finally-you-can-buy-mule.html

 

[CuRoi]

Ranger...who hated animals. Oh, and he hated people too. So he didn't want to adventure with the party.

I alreayd covered the Dudley Do Right Paladin (right down to the mountie outfit) in a different thread.

 

[shipratstew]

As a player I've been lucky and have omit played with one asinine character, Insanus the changeling. The player wanted to make a jack the ripper style pc but failed on so many levels it was sad. (His 5th level soul knife almost died to a random stray dog.) This pc only lasted two sessions thankfully. in the first game he killed my pc's brother when the changeling set off q bomb in the building the party was exploring. This bomb knocked the entire group down to single digits and my brother and I sacrificed our nat20s to keep two other party members alive. The second session was us executing the offending pc, with the player's consent.

Other than that I've been more than guilty of cheezy NPC's but one always made my players groan. Captain breland/khorvare the moronic shield slinging fighters with int 4.

sent from my Android phone

 

[the Jester]

We had a halfling with a wisdom of 1 who was a crack head for a while. That was hilarious. The player decided to make the character a crackhead after deciding to put the 3 in Wis (subrace gave -2 to Wis) and thinking about how to justify the wisdom of 1.

The character was entertaining, if not super effective or long lived.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Has the drow with sunglasses been mentioned yet?

What's wrong with that? I did that once, but, then again, I know a bit about glasses and lenses.

Sunglasses - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Mine were actually hexagonal lenses of blue sapphire set in platinum frames, modeled after a set owned by Elton John.

Or, quoting myself:

I went through this with some of my Drow PCs over the years, depending on how DMs handled blindness in PCs from the Underdark.

Lenses have also been made from substances other than glass- the minerals Quartz (Mohs hardness 7) and Corundum (Mohs hardness 9) have been formed into lenses, mainly because of hardness, clarity, and the fact that they don't doubly refract light (read: create twinned images). In fact, both are commonly used as the crystal that covers watch faces (Timex? Quartz. Rolex? Sapphire.). Additionally, neither mineral is particularly brittle, so they both will stand up to wear and tear.

The upside to lenses such as these would be their scratch resistance. At Mohs 7, Quartz is at the middle range of hardness, so only about half of the stuff in the world will scratch them. Very little will scratch sapphire.

The main downsides will be the expense of getting such lenses made (probably requring Dwarven stoneworking skill), and the expense of finding crystals both large enough and clear enough to use in such a product. You'll also face a weight problem- those are going to be heavy lenses. Given "medieval" technology, they'll have to be made as goggles or as visors for helms.

One kind of quartz (called Optical quartz) is perfectly clear- useless for sunglasses. However, smoky quartz (dark brown) and amethyst (dark purple) have been found in inclusion-free (read: clear) forms of sufficient size to use for lensmaking.

Corundum, similarly, comes in several colors- clear white, blue, orange, yellow, purple, pink and red- and probably more besides. Red corundum is known as Ruby, all others are called Sapphire. Elton John had a pair of sunglasses comprised of hexagonal blue sapphire crystals set in platinum.

With all factors put together, you're talking about masterwork items.

 

[Ulrick]

The character in question couldn't be a paladin because he was neutral. However, by seventh level he was a...

A half-elf Barbarian 1/Ranger 1/Fighter 1/Cleric 1/Rogue 1/Bard 1/Sorcerer 1/Wizard 1...etc.

They were all within one or levels so the character didn't get the 20% exp. penalty...

 

[Orius]

But, one new guy to our gaming group wanted to play a kender paladin-thief based on Batman. WTF? Kender are pretty chaotic, paladins are limited to Lawful Good and can't multi-class in 2E. Plus, how can anybody read about kender (love 'em or hate 'em) and think Batman? Plus, in 2E, only humans could be paladins.

The DM nixed his suggestion, so this guy ended up playing a human paladin, named Bwayne (get it? Bruce Wayne... heh heh heh, so clever, eh? Needless to say, the guy only lasted that one weekend.)

This is one of the silliest character ideas I've seen in a while, but it's funny. Where do players come up with this stuff? Oh and don't forget, 2e thieves couldn't be LG either, so that's a totally illegal combination