when the DM is in fact wrong

[jollyninja]

what do you do? i'm not trying to flame anyone here i just want to know how others handle it when the dm just says, "that's how it is" and you do not and can not agree with him.

i also am not denying the dm his right to do so, it's his game, he makes the rules, he makes the tough calls that might irritate people and for that he must be applauded, but recently a dm has been making changes to things that quite frankly irritate me a great deal, i'm not going to get specific because then this would become a debate about the merrits of the changes. i don't like them, i've debated them to death, and my opinion can't be changed. his opinion is equally set.

so what do you do in such a situation?

 

[Glyfair]

As complicated as the situation could be, it comes down to one thing, is it worth your irritation to keep playing? It's his game, and obviously, he makes the rules. If you don't like them, there is no reason to play in the game.

The idea of the game is to have fun. If you aren't enjoying yourself, then your are just wasting your time. Find a game you'll enjoy, or try to start your own.

Glyfair of Glamis

 

[hong]

Leave the game.

When you come right down to it, you're participating in a game that no longer offers you enjoyment. Just tell him frankly, but politely, that you and he have an irreconcilable difference of opinion on these things. Because of that, you'd prefer to leave the game before it deteriorates further. Make it clear that this doesn't impact your relationship outside the game; it's purely to do with this one campaign.

Needless to say, this is a drastic step, so be _sure_ that you can't just suck up the changes. At least give it a go, say for a couple of sessions, before you decide to bail.

 

[Doomsdaisy]

The best thing to do is to bring it up in a private conversation outside of the game, or via e-mail.

Express the things you find troubling without saying "I'm right and you're wrong." Simply say that you aren't comfortable with A, B, and C. Don't debate simply state what you don't like.

Also, talk to some of the other players and ask them what they think about the DM's policies and let them know what you feel. Don't do this in a conspiratorial way, or as an attempt to sway their opinion. They might have some insight into how things can improve.

Lastly, if the DM doesn't want to compromise, let him know that you're uncomfortable playing in a campaign with those rules and leave. Don't burn bridges by trying to get the last word in. You can always start your own campaign and let him play in it, or play another campaign or game with the same old group.

 

[mkletch]

From the other side of the screen:

The job of the DM is to provide the story for the characters. Oftentimes, there is not a specific rule to allow/enable/facilitate a particular plot point, so the DM has to just make stuff up to compensate. My point here (yes, I do have one, I think) is that these ad hoc changes can often have unforseen consequences. Also, player decisions and character actions can also have unforeseen consequences. In an effort to maintain the story - again, the central point of the whole 5-hour gaming effort unless you're just killing stuff for stress relief (still and always a valid gaming motivation) - to maintain the story, the DM sometimes has to tell you that you are "wrong" when you would otherwise be in fact "right".

Sitting behind the screen for years, I've seen the good and bad that comes from this. One of the worst gaming scenarios is a mixed group of roleplayers and powergamers. They just "get it" or don't, respectively, and there is no changing either group. You are guaranteed to irritate people with that situation.

-Fletch!

 

[Plane Sailing]

What does the rest of the gaming group think?

If we are talking about one-off decisions, I would counsel living with it - since sometimes decisions are made that we agree with, at other times ones that we disagree with. Balances out in the end.

If we are talking about bargeloads of house rules, then ask yourself "what would I think if the DM suggested we play Palladium or WhiteWolf or ...<etc>... instead?" Would that change the way you felt about things?

I play with friends, and consider my friendships quite precious - its not like I play a pick up group of people on Saturdays any more - so I generally make the maximum effort to work with people.

As it is, I can only play once a fortnight, and on alternate weeks the others play games that I'm not interested in, or whose rules I don't like. End result is complete Harmony.

I hope you manage to sort things out satisfactorily.

Regards,

 

[kkoie]

If it were me, I'd ignore the "irritating rules changes" and concentrate on the game. The DM has the right to change the rules how he sees it, just like players have the right to foil each and every one of a DMs ideas.

If the rules changes are really bothering you that much, take a break. Come back in a few sessions when you've had time to forget about it, and just concentrate on having fun. Otherwise, don't play, find or start another campaign.

For me as a DM, I don't mind players asking about rules that seem to have been altered, but it irritates me to no end when they continue to bring it up, after I've told them I prefer the rule "this way."

Because I'm usually the DM, it would be very easy for me to be irritated with another DM's interpretation of the rules, but if I were to do to him, what I hate him doing to me, that would be silly and wrong. So I bring it up once and only once, after that, I let it go and worry about my character and having fun. I suggest you do the same.

K Koie

 

[Darklone]

What do we do?

We talk. Last week, nearly the whole gaming session was a talk about the problems in our group. (we had several, PC levels from 5 to 11, one player mostly disadvantaged, no XP loss for the high level guys when being raised...)

It's especially hard for me to accept his ruling since I am the DM in the other groups... and act different. But, praises to him, he accepts constructive critics and thinks about them. His solutions are not always loved but we can live with them.

If we are talking about rules... no problems usually. Me ruleslawyer, him ruleslawyer, but both can say "You're right about that one" or "Ok, it's not clear, do as you wish even if I don't agree".

 

[JacktheRabbit]

I would ask myself two questions.

1. Am I still having fun?


2. Are the changes fair?


If #1 comes up as no then get out of there. If #2 comes out as no and #1 was yes then you have a problem. The best solution I think would be to politely talk to the other players and get their opinions. If the changes are not fair then maybe as a group you can talk to the DM. One player complaining carries much less weight then all the players.

Then if this still does not work and you are united as players then you can look at someone else DMing or all of you moving as a group and leaving the DM. It is easier for a group to get a new DM then a single person to get a whole new group and DM in my opinion.

 

[sineater]

I have the one thing to say. He is the DM.

He may be changing the rules to go along with his adventure idea. If you are not having fun then it isn't worth the time to play.