When Worlds Collide ... Different Play Styles and Gamer Rage

[Diamond Cross]

That does change things somewhat.

Well, how is this guy being "insulting" exactly?

And maybe you should talk to him first and give him a chance to come around frist before giving him a boot.

You might also want to tape a session and review the tape for yourself to see exactly what is going on.

 

[green slime]

I have had a very similar experience, but not to the degree expressed here. I had two players; one brash impulsive and daring, the other extremely cautious. In the end, the problem resolved itself; the over-cautious player excluded himself: he just found other interests and left.

The problem is caused by the over-cautious player feels the brash (thoughtless, perhaps) player is taking unnecessary risks, causing more damage to be inflicted on the party as a whole, therefore requiring more healing and recouperation: less time adventuring, and achieving less per expended resource (hp / spells / consumables).

If you wish to continue with your group, you must make it clear that:

1) No insulting other players. Ever.
2) Characters do not have to like other characters, but any comments must be made in character, and you should point out disrespecting each other's characters is a dangerous and harmful road to go down, especially if your character later needs help from that person.
3) Compromises are going to have to be made, from all parties involved.

I'd suggest talking to everyone at the table, and discussing the reasoning. If worst comes to worse, one or more players may have to leave, if they can't adjust and have fun.

 

[Dausuul]

I have had a very similar experience, but not to the degree expressed here. I had two players; one brash impulsive and daring, the other extremely cautious.

Ironically, I find that that dynamic can be a very good one--if the players are both mature enough to recognize the need for compromise, and if neither one takes it to an intolerable extreme (the impulsive guy doesn't charge screaming at the ancient red dragon, the cautious guy doesn't cut and run from a handful of orcs). You get an ongoing difference of opinion that keeps the party on an even keel, encourages roleplaying, and ensures that every option is given due consideration.

But you do have to meet those basic prerequisites first.

 

[green slime]

Ironically, I find that that dynamic can be a very good one--if the players are both mature enough to recognize the need for compromise, and if neither one takes it to an intolerable extreme (the impulsive guy doesn't charge screaming at the ancient red dragon, the cautious guy doesn't cut and run from a handful of orcs). You get an ongoing difference of opinion that keeps the party on an even keel, encourages roleplaying, and ensures that every option is given due consideration.

But you do have to meet those basic prerequisites first.

Oh yhes, I agree. In our case though, it occasionally degenerated into an hour long discussion about the merits of opening the door immediately, or checking for traps. All based on the intuition of which ever player was most/least concerned.

Most times is was good, and resolved in game. Sometimes though, ...

 

[merelycompetent]

There is no excuse for being a rude jerk at the game table.

Lots of good advice in this thread - I wish I knew how to recommend it for a Game Table Self-Help sticky or archive.

Back on topic. IMO, the ideal setup with old school gamers and new school gamers is this (in very general terms): The old schoolers kick back and watch the new schoolers go crazy and have fun. The old schoolers use the tried-and-true tricks of the trade to help speed the game along, so that everyone can get to the bits that they personally enjoy most. The old schoolers offer *advice*, OCCASIONALLY. But with the understanding that it's not their character.

The new schoolers go have fun, show the old schoolers the new stuff to try that hasn't been tried before, point out rules that help the game flow. New schoolers try out the oddball classes, add some randomness and "new" fun. But do it with the understanding that some other players at the table have been there/done that, or have a different approach that takes time and patience. I love it when new schoolers go against the old schoolers' advice, emerge victorious, and everyone laughs about it for weeks afterwards.

Most of all, the players are working together, and with the DM, to help make the game session fun.

Notice something: Both sides are being courteous. Both sides are working towards *everyone* having fun. No one is trying to cram their personal play style down anyone's throat. Disagreements are handled quickly, with respect, and kept to rules issues. Personal issues get handled away from the game table.

It sounds like you may have one problem player who is riling up another player, and creating an unholy pain of an Us vs. Them situation. This ruins everyone's fun.

Talk to your players (which you are already doing). Find out what's bothering them. Get them talking to each other. If they can't work it out, then you will have to - and that will likely mean one or more people leaving your game. It sounds like you are already heading the right way.

Do it with dignity, do it with grace, do it with courtesy and respect. But do it quickly.

 

[Quickleaf]

Update:
I tried discussing the issue with "neutral guy" and he said that he's noticed the same thing about one of the older guys in particular - the same guy I noticed as being the most insulting. After talking to the "young 'uns" they said it's mostly that same guy who's causing the trouble.

So now I'm just thinking about telling this guy to hit the road until he can learn some common courtesy and manners.

Hey, good luck! That's not an easy situation to be in, but I'll direct you to Quickleaf RULE ZERO For Handling Jerks: Offer appreciation, then observe.

It's totally cheesy, but one of the tricks of non-violent communication is that you can't stuff the line of communication - somebody has to start listening or the conflict just gets worse.

One of the finest ways I've found to evoke a culture of listening is to offer appreciation for the "jerk." Maybe he's always helping to clear the table, pick out minis, set up mats, etc. Maybe he is a total master of the rules and up to date on all the errata. Maybe he is an astounding tactician. Maybe he pays for pizza most of the time. Even better is if the appreciation comes from the younger folks who are butting heads with him. Now you've created space for him to make the next move...

But if RULE ZERO fails, then I say go for the finger of death!

Of course, YMMV. Delayed blast fireball might be more appropriate.