Algolei
Explorer
I have to go with a DM I used to know, I think his name was Tim or something like that. Tom. Tum. Whatever; he was just one man, but he was utterly devious and extremely organized. After just one three-hour gaming session, he knew enough about me to guess which of the mixed nuts to infuse with cayenne powder for the next time we played.* And he knew how to select certain numbers of certain flavours of jellybeans to make them combine into the taste of doggy doo, and he'd leave them in a small pile at the bottom of a very large dish as they were the very last handful of something so delicious it was going faster than hotcakes, so if you were a greedy pig you would scoop them up and pop them all into your mouth at once and starting gleefully chewing away.
Ugh, that was nasty.
Plus I think he kicked dogs. No one ever saw him do it, or if they did they were too intimidated to speak out, but there were plenty of dogs around his neighbourhood and he was just the kind of guy to go around secretly kicking 'em. Heck, I bet the dogs didn't even see it coming. "I'm a dog, dum-de-dum, I'm so happy peeing on this tree. Gee, I wonder why my ribs hurt? Oh look, my tail's wagging! Lookit it go! Gee, I wonder why my ribs hurt? Hey, I think I'll lick myself! Gee, I wonder why my ribs hurt?..."
*It was the almonds. I can't resist picking them out of the mix.
Ugh, that was nasty.
Plus I think he kicked dogs. No one ever saw him do it, or if they did they were too intimidated to speak out, but there were plenty of dogs around his neighbourhood and he was just the kind of guy to go around secretly kicking 'em. Heck, I bet the dogs didn't even see it coming. "I'm a dog, dum-de-dum, I'm so happy peeing on this tree. Gee, I wonder why my ribs hurt? Oh look, my tail's wagging! Lookit it go! Gee, I wonder why my ribs hurt? Hey, I think I'll lick myself! Gee, I wonder why my ribs hurt?..."
*It was the almonds. I can't resist picking them out of the mix.