Who doesn't HATE Van Helsing?

[IcyCool]

I thought Van Helsing was great! Fun fight scenes, mediocre acting, and great monsters. The casting and costuming for Dracula was terrific.

 

[Mystery Man]

Answer: I do not know how magic works, I do know how fencing works. If the physics of the world are such as to allow magic then there is no problem with its use, however sword fighting in high heels is asking for a broken ankle. It is something that exists, and should be handled appropriately.

The Auld Grump

So just how many times have you fenced in high heels? Yes, let us get your expert opinion on this...

 

[Mercule]

Answer: I do not know how magic works, I do know how fencing works. If the physics of the world are such as to allow magic then there is no problem with its use, however sword fighting in high heels is asking for a broken ankle. It is something that exists, and should be handled appropriately.

The physics are, of course, that Kate Beckinsale's rear is magical, and when properly activated (by high heels and leather pants), it allows her to perform amazing athletic feats.

Run with it, man, that's pretty close to the truth, in this case.

 

[Brother Shatterstone]

So just how many times have you fenced in high heels? Yes, let us get your expert opinion on this...

Let’s be realistic… Its hard to walk in high heals with out practice let alone fence in them... I do believe that anything is possible with practice but this is somewhat of a stretch...

 

[Umbran]

Answer: I do not know how magic works, I do know how fencing works. If the physics of the world are such as to allow magic then there is no problem with its use...

The high-heels are merely one element of an overall alteration to physics - an adaptation of the rules of the universe to allow high-action. Fencing in heels is no more problematic than some of the Tarzan action, or werewolves clinging to walls like spiders, or compressed-air powered firearms in a victorian setting. You post here - the odds of you not being familiar with high-action settings is virtually nil. Why can't you accept it as a high-action, swashbuckling setting?

Or do you just dislike any fiction that allows for feats beyond what normal human beings can physically perform?

 

[TheAuldGrump]

Or do you just dislike any fiction that allows for feats beyond what normal human beings can physically perform?

In general, yes I do dislike such nonsense, which includes most (but not all (anymore)) anime. Despite that, aside from the high heeled fight scene, I actually rather enjoyed Van Helsing - which reminded me of Captain Chronos: Vampire Hunter!

On the other hand I hated Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - but liked the original Chinese Ghost Story, so I am not always consistent.

The (inconsistent) Auld Grump

 

[David Howery]

The physics are, of course, that Kate Beckinsale's rear is magical.

I don't know about magical, but it was certainly one of the more interesting features of the movie. Didn't anyone else like this just because of the hot vampire chicks?

 

[Mercule]

I don't know about magical, but it was certainly one of the more interesting features of the movie. Didn't anyone else like this just because of the hot vampire chicks?

Well, not just because of those.

 

[Pants]

I didn't really care for it. Not enough to go out of my way to bash it, but enough to go out of my to not ever watch it again. It had some neat ideas that were handled poorly...

 

[Ranger REG]

Boo hoo, some trashy eye candy dies rather than living to the end, to be replaced by another actress when the original becomes too old for the sequal. Hollywood is too addicted to having the heroine live to the end so she can ride off with the hero.

Perhaps, but that is one formula that always worked with the movie audience, unless you're a direct-to-video fan, you know, the kind of lesser known films that ended up on late-night TV programming as fillers for local TV stations (simply because they can't get some informercial sponsors to pick that timeslot).

Only Revenge of the Sith got the "kill the heroine" plot right, having the lead character killed his wife and mother of his children in anger.