Why can only Ravens talk?

[Driddle]

re ravens: You assume they have something useful to say and that speaking would be beneficial. Evidentally you've missed the paragraph hidden in the DMG that suggests having raven familiars constantly distracting their mages and offering really bad advice.

"Fireball? You're going to cast fireball?! ... HEY, GUYS! Mr. Pointy Hat is gonna frazzle your collective tuchus with his great balls of fire! Any second now! ... Don't look at me that way; I suggested he try to treat you like sentient humanoids and try talking first, but did he listen to me? NOOOoooo! I'm just a bird. 'Let's blast 'em,' he says. 'You fly ahead for recon,' he says. ..."

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

re ravens: You assume they have something useful to say and that speaking would be beneficial. Evidentally you've missed the paragraph hidden in the DMG that suggests having raven familiars constantly distracting their mages and offering really bad advice.

"Fireball? You're going to cast fireball?! ... HEY, GUYS! Mr. Pointy Hat is gonna frazzle your collective tuchus with his great balls of fire! Any second now! ... Don't look at me that way; I suggested he try to treat you like sentient humanoids and try talking first, but did he listen to me? NOOOoooo! I'm just a bird. 'Let's blast 'em,' he says. 'You fly ahead for recon,' he says. ..."

My player who wants a talking familiar (they just fought a talking fiendish pseudodragon familiar) is going to hate you for this suggestion.

 

[Wik]

I played my own familiar, who was, actually, a Raven. I took it because it could speak and fly, which seemed like the best option over some of the measly bonuses offered by other familiars. Plus, a Raven suited a Tiefling Conjurer a helluva lot more than, say, a Cat.

So, I ran the Raven like an NPC, and made him an absolute altruist when compared to my cynical and sarcastic tiefling. The Raven was rather dumb, too, and enjoyed using his master as a shield. He'd say all sorts of mean things about my other party members, and then fly and hide behind the Tiefling. Was a lot of fun.

 

[Moonstone Spider]

I always thought Ravens got to talk because Appraise is such a useless non-class skill next to bonus HP or the other familiar bonuses.

 

[Driddle]

I always thought Ravens got to talk because Appraise is such a useless non-class skill next to bonus HP or the other familiar bonuses.

And that's exactly what the raven will tell you, too: "Hey, wiz, ol' buddy, my best appraisal of the situation from up yonder -- a bird's eye view, if you will -- is that we're in the middle of some woods. Lost, even. By my approximation (and you have to realize that I don't have much in the way of knowledge-nature ranks), the aforementioned woods are about 60 percent oak, 30 percent maple, and the remaining 10 percent a mix of various other indigenous trees, including not a not insignificant amount of firs on the east side. If you were to convince that stupid-looking orc budy of yours -- sorry, HALF-orc -- to start using his axe and muscle for something useful, we could haul enough wood back to town to clear a tidy profit. ... IF we could find the town. Didn't see it up there. Got anything else you want appraised? Huh? Do ya?"

Ravens are a pain in the butt.