Why do 4e combats grind?

[ExploderWizard]

I think it's okay to run the game my way, and I don't think it requires house rules (rulings, to be sure, but I wouldn't call it a house rule).

Exactly. Rulings instead of rules are the key to old school success. Rulings account for specific situations and allow for more freedom of action. Rules created to cover things that arise from specific situations lead to rigid definitions that can produce downright stupid results later on. Rules should provide the most basic elements of the game, the rest left to rulings.

While this generates a panic about the "mother may I" syndrome its still a better solution than tight rules. A crappy DM will make a game suck no matter what. A good DM will make decent rulings and run an enjoyable game. Becoming skilled at making rulings takes time and effort. DM's can't improve without practice at making judgement calls.

OD&D/Basic D&D got this right. 1E-3E tried to make too many rules out of what should have been left to rulings. 4E made a half-hearted attempt to bring rulings back into play but failed.

 

[Primitive Screwhead]

Its interesting that there are two monsters now that have a disarm manuever... and there is also a "Sunder Armor" power....

IMHO:
Rules are overarching, generic means to hang the basic framework of the game.

Ruling is the application of those rules to a given game scenario

When there is a lack of a rule, GMs have two choices:
1: decide each time a case comes up on which mechanics to use and what the results of the players actions are.
2: implement a house rule to ensure future cases are treated equally, giving the player a feeling of comfort that an attempt to do 'x' will have a fairly reliable result.

Ideally the house rule is designed to be adaptable and reflects other existing rules, instead of being fixed and counter to other instances.

4e works quite well with rules, rulings, and minimal house rules. pg 42, while not the Holy Grail by any stretch, is a good founding for rulings and house rules.

But this is one heck of a digression...