Why do elves suck?

[Plane Sailing]

The CON penalty

 

[Plane Sailing]

My favourite fictional take on elves is probably from Terry Pratchetts discworld novel, 'Lords and Ladies'. That was a particularly nice spin on them.

 

[Coplen]

I'm sure elven women suck?



















What?

 

[victorysaber]

My dislike of elves stems from the experiences I've had with elf-centric players.

In my experience, the people who play the Magical Immortal Pretty People almost exclusively tend to have serious self-esteem issues that I don't want anywhere near my campaign or my group of friends.

I have trouble grasping the mentality because I don't see the fun in playing such a wish-fulfillment character - I have more fun getting in the shoes of a flawed character who's different enough from me to be a change of pace.

Does anyone have elves in their campaign as the Magical Immortal Pretty People?

 

[Gez]

Does anyone have elves in their campaign as the Magical Immortal Pretty People?

Well, all the people that play in the Forgotten Realms, for example. And everyone else who abide by the cliché of elves as the "most ancient and powerful race." Why should fey-like, chaotic, whimsical eternal adolescents be the most powerful race anyway?

By the way, though I take the "most ancient and powerful" phrasing directly from Aeric, I think he didn't really mean it:

They're too darn short. I refuse to think of elves as the most ancient and powerful race when their biggest representitive only comes up to my chin.

Just take a look at his avatar.

 

[EyeontheMountain]

Also, many of your reasons for why elves suck are highly debateable. Elves are elitist? And the dwarves who think, "Aye, ye' weak-boweled humans can't hold yer liquor like a dwarf! And ye' alcohol tastes like me' piss!" are not elitist, how?

Which would bother you more IRL? Some guy who said the same thing, or some dude who said he was better than you in every way?

I rest me case, boyo

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

and what "problem" would that be? keep in mind i liked ElfQuest back in the day, so magical divergence isn't a problem in my opinion.

I like Elfquest too, but they don't portray a thousand subraces in a role playing game, and if you look up, you'll see that "too many subraces" is tied for top place for why to hate elves (at the time of this posting).

wouldn't dpr weasley fall under the same category of why elves suck? I mean he is attractive, smart, strong, good with swords, slightly argent... ect... uber?

You could say the same thing about Anakin Skywalker, but he isn't your "typical" human.

Have you seen 'em in game? They are fancy, prancy ladyboys.

Blizzard had to make them more masculine; the previous model for males was so skinny you could literally see their digitized skeletons sometimes (which were just lines, but still...)

And the dwarves who think, "Aye, ye' weak-boweled humans can't hold yer liquor like a dwarf! And ye' alcohol tastes like me' piss!" are not elitist, how?

Well first, dwarves don't insult humans on everything, and second, most humans can't hold alcohol as well as dwarves. That's tangible, as opposed to "I can make art better, magic better, swords better, and everything else than you" vibe that you get from an elf. I'd rather hang out with a surly dwarf than an uppity elf.

Here's the quote from Errant Story, stated by a half-elf, that I just stole from someone's signature:

“Nah, they're elves. Their warpgates would be, like, gigantic, with glowing symbols and crystal crap, trimmed in gold, and basically say "our form of instantaneous global travel is better than your form of instantaneous global travel."”

That's so like a stereotypical elf.

 

[Kastil]

I made my world virtually elf-free. They stay in their nancy woods and tree hump. Period. If my players insist on still playing one, they have to give me a damn good reason for it. If they have got that far, then they have to realize wherever their character goes they will be discriminated against because elves are not well liked in the world.

 

[Desdichado]

Particularly curious, DJ cannot seem to get The Complete Book of Elves out of his head. The book came out in 1993 and he speaks about it like it was some highly relevant topic. He thinks that book is such an egregious travesty that it still bears discussion to this day, and can't conceive that there aren't scores of other people equally outraged.

I have vague memories of some big flamewar on the issue between the two of you a few years ago. Am I remembering that correctly? If so, I'd be careful about casting about the "can't let go of a grudge" accusation if I were you.

 

[Dark Jezter]

I made my world virtually elf-free. They stay in their nancy woods and tree hump. Period. If my players insist on still playing one, they have to give me a damn good reason for it. If they have got that far, then they have to realize wherever their character goes they will be discriminated against because elves are not well liked in the world.

Why must you always be so cool, Kastil?

I once started work on a homebrew setting that didn't have elves, period. In that particular setting, "elf" was just another word used to refer to fey creatures like dryads, nymphs, and sprites.