Why must a loving soul be so alone...

[der_kluge]

I could stand to lose some weight, but I am fairly attractive. I had quite a few girlfriends in middle and high school.

der_kluge, I have that book. My parents bought it for me out of sympathy for my situation. It deals more on how to have a physical relationship with women. I'm not looking for that. I need an emotional relationship.

I get outside at least once a week, thats all I can afford, really.

I passed the 29 mark a week and a half ago.

I had it as well. I stopped reading at about chapter 8 or so, once it started talking about how to dump girls.

Maybe the problem is the area? My wife has noted differences in the dating scene from one area to another. She commented that it was incredibly hard to meet people in Wichita, KS, but easier in Kansas City. So, I think it can be hard to meet people geographically sometimes.

What do you do, socially?

 

[der_kluge]

Does anyone here have a mail-order bride (assuming that there really is such a thing anymore)? I worked with a guy who had a beautiful wife from Bulgaria, and when asked he said "he met her on the internet". I always suspected he met her through a European dating service. For the record, this guy was like a total nerd, and his wife was like totally hot.

Anyway, a friend of mine, as a joke got me one of those "European Connections" catalogs. The name is a misnomer, since they are all Russian, or from a Soviet state. It's basically a travel service. You pay a lot of money to fly overseas through their agency and then meet lots of women, who pay their own money to arrive in Moscow, say, and go there to attend the seminar. Women there truly are desperate for men. It was an interesting thing to read. I guess a lot of Russian men are unemployed, and are basically alcoholics. So, if you have a job, and aren't addicted to Vodka, you've got a leg up on many Russian men. The catalog went on to say that Russian women tend to be very old-fashioned, and like to cook and clean, and raise a family. But a lot of the ones in the catalog had professional degrees, and spoke fluent English.

It's expensive, and it probably doesn't work out in many cases, and it can be extremely hard to pull off, but it seems like a completely viable way to meet a wife. Obviously the women would prefer that you move to Russia so they don't have to leave family, but they realize that that's not really an option.

 

[der_kluge]

The only other advice I can give is to make sure that all of your friends/family/coworkers know that you are actively looking.

My wife had a single girlfriend that we were always trying to hook up with someone. If nothing else we managed to go on about 3 double dates with her (none of them panned out), but we certainly tried.

I met my wife through a co-worker at work. His wife was my wife's boss. Find a social worker. They're a ton of attractive female social workers who don't have time for a life because they're job keeps them too busy. At the gathering where my I met my wife, I could have had my pick of about 6 girls who were all single. They were all social workers.

 

[Hijinks]

Then, Internet is a sure way to NOT meet your soulmate.

I have met several intelligent and kind men online. So I disagree with the above statement, to an extent. I do not, most definitely, respond to the emails saying "Hey baby here's my number, call me!" That, for sure, is not the way to do it. Not that I'm suggesting that's what you're doing, but just pointing it out.

it not that I need a significant other, more want to feel completion.

I see this as a problem. A woman isn't going to complete you, she will compliment you. You need to be complete and happy with yourself, before you can give yourself, and receive in return, to/from a woman successfully. I was alone for many years and finally became happy and content with myself as a person, and then I started going out and looking for a significant other to complement me. I never needed, nor will I ever need, a man by my side to feel complete; I AM complete, just as I am. May I humbly suggest thinking about that, and trying to love yourself and be happy being alone, before you go out and search too earnestly? Because that will help with the neediness that turns women off.

 

[vermicious knid]

Don't give up. Get out and socialize. Participate in activiities that YOU like that might also interest females. Be yourself, try not to reek of desperation.

Don't despair. Even the most pathetic loser (not that I'm casting any such aspersion) can find someone.

 

[Darkness]

Had to remove a pic

Pictures might say more than 1,000 words, but digs at uninvolved posters are kind of a drag nonetheless.

 

[alsih2o]

<sigh> I'm tired of waiting. I know I am blessed for having a family that really cares about me, but it isn't enough., I have too much love to give to go through my life alone. I've tried multiple internet 'dating' sites and never even got a nibble.

I'm tired of being alone. I had to get this off my chest, I'm just so sick of being alone in a world of millions.

Millions of people need someone who do not have sex or a monogamous relationship to offer.

Too much love to give? I guarantee you here is a community of the mentally or physically handicapped in your area dying for a volunteer. An old folks home. A lonely, elderly widow on your block. A humane shelter full of abandoned animals. A big brother program.

You can share your love with the folks who need it or admit what you want isn't someone to share your "too much love" with, but that you are wanting what you get back form someone or wanting sex.

There are too many people and organizations longing for help to be lonely and have a surplus of love. Find them, or be realistic about what you really want.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Dude, just stop caring about it. Women can smell needy a thousand miles away. Stop caring about what they think about you and put all your fears away. Do not be afraid to talk with people etc.

Yup. We can smell out needy and desperate a mile away!!! The best thing to do is try to be friends without being desperate. Be yourself. Be funny and creative. Try to have fun. And see that she does as well. Make sure you make her feel like you actually care about her, instead of just caring about yourself and the only thing you'd really want: to get her into your bed to "score". There's women for that: they're called prostitutes.

As for me, I have a great male friend who's scared of another relationship after the ones he's had before turned very sour on him. My main goal there is to be a friend to him. To give him someone to talk to. And to care about him. If it turns into a relationship, that's fine. He's a great guy to be around and very sociable. But if it doesn't, then I hope to still remain friends with him. That's the main thing. To be friends first and lovers second. That way if being lovers doesn't work out, then, hopefully, you can still be friends.

And don't judge a potential partner by how he/she dresses and how much money they have. Not all are rich or at least middle-class income level. Even us po' folk need people too...

 

[alsih2o]

Make sure you make her feel like you actually care about her, instead of just caring about yourself and the only thing you'd really want: to get her into your bed to "score". There's women for that: they're called prostitutes.

Surely you are not saying that any woman who has sex for the sake of sex is a prostitute? That would be mean, rude and unrealistic.

Women have physical needs as well and many of them fulfill them outside of a lasting relationship. Do you really not understand that? Or do you really think any woman who has sex with a man who doesn't "actually care about her" is a prostitute?

 

[alsih2o]

If it turns into a relationship, that's fine. He's a great guy to be around and very sociable. But if it doesn't, then I hope to still remain friends with him. That's the main thing. To be friends first and lovers second. That way if being lovers doesn't work out, then, hopefully, you can still be friends.

Surely you can see the benefit of being lovers first and friends second.

That way if being friends doesn't work out you can still be lovers. Yes?

I mean, you wouldn't pass moral judgement on a modern woman who fulfilled her physical needs outside a romantic relationship would you?