Why must a loving soul be so alone...

[Darth K'Trava]

I met my wife in a Barnes and Noble. I helped her choose a book.

I met the friend I was talking about in my earlier post at Stellarcon. Started talking to him at the con, commissioned a couple of character portraits off him (he's an artist), and then really started talking to him over AIM when all I was intending to do was ask about the progress on the pics....

 

[Darth K'Trava]

But - you've got my ear... I never mind being someone's venting outlet.

Sounds like me.... venting outlet for several of my male friends probs.. Which I don't mind unless it becomes the only topic of conversation. Then it gets old, REAL QUICK.

 

[BOZ]

believe it or not, i met my wife when i finally realized (after banging my head against the wall enough times) that i could be happy without being in a relationship.

of course, i decided that being happy in a relationship was better than being happy without one.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I see this as a problem. A woman isn't going to complete you, she will compliment you. You need to be complete and happy with yourself, before you can give yourself, and receive in return, to/from a woman successfully.

**High Fives Hijinks** Right on.

 

[Alzrius]

I have had faith for so long that I'd find that special someone by putting my life in the hands in the one from up above...

I'm trying not to be cold, nor lacking in compassion, but you need to do more than look up and ask "when?" if you want a life mate. There's no guarantees in life, and nothing says anyone is owed finding someone to spend their life with. People can and do live alone and die alone. Even the people who find someone more often than not end up divorcing (or being divorced by) that person. There is no one person anyone is destined to be with, and no one is out there waiting for each person specifically.

Simply expecting that you'd be handed someone by a higher power, that sounds like the cause of your disappointment.

<sigh> I'm tired of waiting.

Then act.

I know I am blessed for having a family that really cares about me, but it isn't enough.

This sort of concept bothers me; what is "enough"? Why isn't having a loving family enough? Why isn't love for yourself enough? Why is it that we're so driven to have to find someone else to make us feel complete? I feel it's better to look inward, and find this apparently gaping hole that we feel only a life with another can fill, and fill it. Love yourself, and you can be complete.

I have too much love to give to go through my life alone.

How much you have to give isn't the issue. You can show your love for people all sorts of ways, to all sorts of people. It's lack of receiving that you're bemoaning. Don't say that it's that you have no one to give to, because you do.

I'm just so sick of being alone in a world of millions.

This is nitpicking, but it's billions. The world population passed six billion a few years back.

 

[msd]

For my part, I am simply amazed to find a thread that Crothian hasn't posted in...things seem so out of place.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

The only other advice I can give is to make sure that all of your friends/family/coworkers know that you are actively looking.

I dunno about that one.... my sister hooked me up years ago with some creepy guy... UGH! And the coworkers I have haven't left me alone since I brought my friend up there a couple of times... They're busy trying to play "cupid" with the two of us... Never mind the fact he's scared of another relationship after the messy ones he'd had... and I don't want to push him before he's ready... He's got alot of female friends just like I have a bunch of male friends...

I have met several intelligent and kind men online. So I disagree with the above statement, to an extent. I do not, most definitely, respond to the emails saying "Hey baby here's my number, call me!" That, for sure, is not the way to do it. Not that I'm suggesting that's what you're doing, but just pointing it out.

I've met a few nice guys online. But I wonder just how nice they are in real life.... Granted the few I've talked with on message boards like this one seem to be cool....

I see this as a problem. A woman isn't going to complete you, she will compliment you. You need to be complete and happy with yourself, before you can give yourself, and receive in return, to/from a woman successfully. I was alone for many years and finally became happy and content with myself as a person, and then I started going out and looking for a significant other to complement me. I never needed, nor will I ever need, a man by my side to feel complete; I AM complete, just as I am. May I humbly suggest thinking about that, and trying to love yourself and be happy being alone, before you go out and search too earnestly? Because that will help with the neediness that turns women off.

It's just like I don't feel the need to have a man to "complete my life" but I'd like to have someone to share life with. To have someone who really cares and loves you. For who you are. Not to make you into whatever HE wants but appreciate you for who YOU are. If they can't appreciate you for being YOU, then what good are they?

 

[Lazzerous]

Just for the record, I've met the last two ladies I have been with on the internet. The first one I had planned on spending the rest of my life with and unfortunaly she passed away (but the 4 years we were together were the best she definatly complimented me and I her). My new girlfriend is also quite wonderful. So as for the internet it works for those who ewant it to.

Instead of not caring one way or the other, try not worrying about it and working to hard to find somebody. It will happen.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Surely you are not saying that any woman who has sex for the sake of sex is a prostitute? That would be mean, rude and unrealistic.

Women have physical needs as well and many of them fulfill them outside of a lasting relationship. Do you really not understand that? Or do you really think any woman who has sex with a man who doesn't "actually care about her" is a prostitute?

Just cause we women have physical needs too doesn't mean that should be the ONLY thing that guys should center on. We also have other needs as well, emotional and mental needs. If that's all you want in a woman fine, but I (as a woman) would like more than just having sex.

Surely you can see the benefit of being lovers first and friends second.

That way if being friends doesn't work out you can still be lovers. Yes?

I mean, you wouldn't pass moral judgement on a modern woman who fulfilled her physical needs outside a romantic relationship would you?

I prefer having friends moreso than lovers. Granted that I haven't had a lover but have had friends... I guess that would make my POV kinda skewed....

I wouldn't want for someone to have to cheat in a relationship just to "fulfill her physical needs". We want more than the "wham, bam, thank you ma'am!" kind of relationship. At least, I'd hope so....

 

[alsih2o]

Just cause we women have physical needs too doesn't mean that should be the ONLY thing that guys should center on. We also have other needs as well, emotional and mental needs. If that's all you want in a woman fine, but I (as a woman) would like more than just having sex.

This didn't address my question at all.