Will you make transsexual Elves canon in your games ?

[TheCosmicKid]

The first bold: this is one thing I just don't see. I'm sure it happens, but where I live (waaaaay up in northern Canada)...not so much. I have a bi-sexual friend, worked with two gay guys and (due to the long hair I have and short stature) I've been hit on by all manner of men...some gay, some drunk (some maybe both! LOL!). Of all the people I know, I can think of two that "just don't like gay people". They can't explain why, they both say that gay guys (they are both men) just kinda make them all "icky feeling". Uncomfortable. They don't care if someone's gay, they just don't like being around them because they feel wierd. ...shrug... Anyway, in my experience the whole "marginalization" thing just, well, isn't a thing any more than someones religion, politics or favourite hockey team is (ok, the latter can get folks into some pretty heated debates...but that's ok, it helps keep us warm in winter... ).

I'm willing to bet that's two more people you know who feel "icky" around gay people than people you know who feel "icky" around, say, lefties. So I'm gonna say there's still an issue there.

 

[devincutler]

I'm willing to bet that's two more people you know who feel "icky" around gay people than people you know who feel "icky" around, say, lefties. So I'm gonna say there's still an issue there.

I don't like beans. I cannot control the fact that I don't like them. I was not traumatized by a bad bean experience as a child. And I imagine if I were starving and had nothing to eat but beans I would eat them.

I just find them unappealing to eat. I don't think people who enjoy eating refried beans or baked beans are evil or bad or somehow deficient, but I don't want to eat beans. Additionally, I don't really like the smell of beans and watching someone plow into a plate of beans and eat them right next to me is not something I find pleasurable to look at or smell. I would NEVER presume to stop someone from eating beans in my presence...that's entirely on me. But, on the other hand, if I find bean eating unpleasurable to watch, it is my right to remove myself from the room where the bean eating is taking place. I don't think that would be an untoward response on my part.

 

[ccs]

It seems like you’re being pretty selective about what ‘real world’ issues you bring into the game and which disturb your restful escape. I mean what about gay characters? Do they disturb your rest? Shall we brush out the gay characters from 5e products like Curse of Strahd? What about black characters, if it disturbs you we can whitewash them out? At the end of the day women only got the vote in the last century, we can go full tolkein and take women out of games as well.

The perk of being the DM is that you can use/add/delete/change anything & everything.
So yes, if any of this doesn't suite you for whatever reason? Make whatever alterations you need.

Either

A: Both DM and players are cool with the occasional trans elf. There’s no issue.

B: Neither DM or players are interested with the concept. There’s no issue

C: A player would like to explore the idea, but the DM won’t let them. That DM needs to take a good hard look at themselves and ask some real questions about their motives.

You forgot one.
D: The DM wants to explore something, but the players aren't interested.

C: A player would like to explore the idea, but the DM won’t let them. That DM needs to take a good hard look at themselves and ask some real questions about their motives.

As for this? I'm perfectly fine with my motives & don't need to question them. If I'm not allowing something it's because of 1 of 2 reasons:
A) What you're choosing is inappropriate for the setting/adventure/theme/group etc.
B) Is something I'm not interested in DMing for. So take it to some one elses game.

 

[Mouseferatu]

1) That a person who is not part of a marginalized group doesn't see how often that marginalized group is insulted/oppressed does not, in any way, lessen the actual problem. Don't ever fall into the trap of thinking that because you don't see something that doesn't affect you, that means it's not a common thing.

2) These may be "real life issues that you don't want to deal with" to you, but it's just life to others. By excluding it, you exclude them. By only grudgingly allowing it, you only grudgingly allow them. And they notice. I guarantee they notice.

If you ever have so much as a married couple, even on a Disney level, you're already dealing with sexuality. Choosing to restrict it to heterosexuality is a deliberate choice, and it sends a message.

If you even have people of different sexes and genders, even on a Disney level, you're already dealing with gender identity. Choosing to restrict it to cis is a deliberate choice, and it sends a message.

If you're comfortable sending that message? Well, that's your right, whatever I or others think about it. But you are sending it. There is no "We just don't include that stuff" unless your entire world is made up of a genderless race that has no romantic relationships and reproduces by budding.

 

[Sunseeker]

I think some people don't really want RL culture wars in D&D.

To demonstrate I live in the midwest, let me suggest this pearl of wisdom:

"Don't start none won't be none."

Also, I suspect the irony of you not wanting "IRL culture wars" in your game but being perfectly okay with oppressive societies and abusing minorities is lost on you.

 

[Zardnaar]

1) That a person who is not part of a marginalized group doesn't see how often that marginalized group is insulted/oppressed does not, in any way, lessen the actual problem. Don't ever fall into the trap of thinking that because you don't see something that doesn't affect you, that means it's not a common thing.

2) These may be "real life issues that you don't want to deal with" to you, but it's just life to others. By excluding it, you exclude them. By only grudgingly allowing it, you only grudgingly allow them. And they notice. I guarantee they notice.

If you ever have so much as a married couple, even on a Disney level, you're already dealing with sexuality. Choosing to restrict it to heterosexuality is a deliberate choice, and it sends a message.

If you even have people of different sexes and genders, even on a Disney level, you're already dealing with gender identity. Choosing to restrict it to cis is a deliberate choice, and it sends a message.

If you're comfortable sending that message? Well, that's your right, whatever I or others think about it. But you are sending it. There is no "We just don't include that stuff" unless your entire world is made up of a genderless race that has no romantic relationships and reproduces by budding.

Asking a DM to RP being gay or whatever is not a reasonable request though. The gay gamers I have played with did not make it an issue they just wanted to chuck dice and beat up Orcs or what have you.

Personal hygiene is more important to me than most other traits gamers have. I don't really care what you get up to in your own time, stink out my house and that is an issue (yes this has happened).

 

[Ganders]

Yes, of course I will make transgender elves canon.

Some of the players in my games are left handed.

I'd feel like an evil nazi symmetry-supremicist if I didn't allow them to play a character with two right hands (and two left feet).

But only if they're willing to play a religious elf.


I also have some players with multiple personality disorder. I let them play three characters each, while the rest of the players only get one character. Because I'm a good person.

 

[Zardnaar]

To demonstrate I live in the midwest, let me suggest this pearl of wisdom:

"Don't start none won't be none."

Also, I suspect the irony of you not wanting "IRL culture wars" in your game but being perfectly okay with oppressive societies and abusing minorities is lost on you.

I guess New Zealand is a bit more liberal than the mid west. My group was 50% female in 1996 and I had a gay player 1999/2000. I kind of look at both sides though. Is it reasonable for gays to get married? Sure why not. Is it reasonable for them to get married in say a Catholic Church maybe not as you are forcing your beliefs onto them (example only I am not Catholic or a fan of organized religions in general). There is an element of physics (every action has an opposite reaction)here the harder you push there will be a counter push, if things happen a bit more organically it creates less problems IMHO. Its entirely possible to score an own goal. It just dpeends on if those things blow up into violence or not (read a history book).

Generally you should not force your beliefs onto someone else (except things like no murder, child abuse etc). There are some things I don't want to see or expect to act out but I try to challenge myself sometimes, I liked season one of Sense8 for example season 2 not as much.

Maybe I'm odd, agnostic IRL but like clerics in D&D.

 

[Mouseferatu]

Asking a DM to RP being gay or whatever is not a reasonable request though.

Leaving aside whether I agree with that or not, because that's a whole different conversational tangent, I'm not asking the DM to do anything but allow the player to play what he/she wants to. That can always lead to "fade to black," but I assume that most DMs who don't like to include sexual content do that with any PC/NPC romance.

 

[TheCosmicKid]

I just find them unappealing to eat. I don't think people who enjoy eating refried beans or baked beans are evil or bad or somehow deficient, but I don't want to eat beans. Additionally, I don't really like the smell of beans and watching someone plow into a plate of beans and eat them right next to me is not something I find pleasurable to look at or smell. I would NEVER presume to stop someone from eating beans in my presence...that's entirely on me. But, on the other hand, if I find bean eating unpleasurable to watch, it is my right to remove myself from the room where the bean eating is taking place. I don't think that would be an untoward response on my part.

I don't want to be in the room when other people of any palette are *ahem* "eating". And they, overwhelmingly, would prefer I give them their privacy as well. This is a pretty universal social norm. Almost everybody follows it. So when we're talking about two specific people who say they don't like "bean eating", we're probably talking about something a bit more than that.