Wishes & Perversions - Post Yours

[Cerubus Dark]

Happened a few years ago in my old game.

Rogue: There needs to be something to do in this swamp.

Fighter #1: Shut up.
Fighter #2: Your going to get us in trouble, the mage still has that damn spell active he never used it.

Wizard: I wish.... I wish ....(rogue pushes him down)

Rogue: I wish we could fight the DracoLich!

Dracolich slowly pulls out of the swamp nest to the group. The pary fighters grab the wizard and run before the rouge even notices they are gone. Dracolich turns and roars at the fact that he was dragged out of his lair, by a lone rouge.

Hehe, needless to say the rogue was vaporized in one breath.

 

[RingXero]

it's rogue, for god's sake, it's rogue not rouge...


*sob*


*sob*



RX


;-)

 

[Neo]

I'd love to post some of these, but I can't remember the specifics, mostly as its been such a long time since my players have ever used a wish I gave them <chuckle>.... I have something of a bad reputation (totally earnt mind LOL) for twisting wishes.

I tend to take the wording literally, and then apply it as I see it which is generally a deviation from the wishers original hopeful intent.

I don;t do this to be intentionally nasty, but I think wishes are such significant things they are more likely to work favourably if they are non selfish, or small. however when a player asks to be just like that 20th level Paladin while retaining all his current knowledge too, or asking for the Strength of a Dragon etc.. that these greedy unbalancing wishes are doomed to backfire..... for example the character becoming the paladins second brain, thus being just like the Paladin (externally) while retaining all his current knowledge, or In the Case of the Strength of a Dragon, end up with the character becoming a Dragons Muscle etc...

I also quite like the idea that Wishes do not create something from nothing and that for every action there is a reaction. Someone wishing for a fortune in gold, makes someone else a pauper, someone wishing for life, thus denies it from someone else who dies in their place and so on and so forth.

 

[Hand of Evil]

One I used and a very old joke...

Wish to have the biggest dick in the world!

Wham...

He has a gnome jester as a familiar!

Sorry.

 

[maddman75]

Here's one for you.

Our first 3e campaign. Two of the PCs had died and been raised, and they did NOT like sucking up a level. They'd negotiated three wishes from an Efreeti and used two to help complete their mission. They had a wish left, and wanted to get rid of that whole 'level' thing.

I warned them. This is an essential game balance issue, and I *would* be penalizing any attempt to get around it. But, they chose to put their wits against mine.

They had several possibilities, and I had responses ready. Turns out, they got the best possibility. Wish we would never die? (group turns to vampires). Wish that we would never be drained of life force by any means? (turned to statues).

They settled on wishing that they'd been returned to life by True Resurrection instead of Raise dead.

They felt time unwinding, and remember going to the twisted Ebony Tower outside of town and negotiating a True Res in exchange for a quest, to be named at a later date, from the cleric of Nerull.

They looked at me and said 'What Ebony Tower?' For some reason, though they knew it wasn't there before they made the wish, they now remember the tower always being there.

The cleric loosed undead on teh town to hunt at night, and eventually ordered the heroes to open ancient seals releasing an ancient god that dominated the kingdom.

 

[Wormwood]

"I wish I had a +5 sword."

"Okay. All of reality had been altered, and for as long as your character can remember he has been in possession of a mighty +5 sword. You and your companions clearly remember many past adventures where the +5 sword figured prominently. Remember that lich you killed in the Haunted Moors? Beheaded by your +5 sword. The Half-Dragin Monks in the Spire of Jade? Yep---that +5 sword wasted them too. Your +5 sword has been woven into the tapestry of your character's life and has crossed into legend like Excalibur, Stormbringer or Mjollnir.

Whoops, it vanishes in a puff of smoke.

You had a +5 sword."

 

[Zerovoid]

You know, most of these wish "perversions" are really lame.

I really like the one where the PC wished for everyone who had hurt him to die, and he died because he had hurt himself so much. I like this because this actually follows from the wish as stated.

In almost all the other cases, the DM in question didn't actually grant the wish as stated. He granted the wish, AND a whole bunch of unrelated other stuff that isn't mentioned or implied by the wish.

Like this:

I wish for # more wishes!

A # Efreet appear and you may now attempt to bargin for a wish from each of them.

The PC didn't wish for Efreets, he wished for wishes. Efreets have wishes... but this wasn't what the wish asked for for. Players should only get Efreets if they wish for Efreets, or for something else that can be interpreted as an Efreet. An Efreet is not a type of wish. In this case, I would go with "Nothing happens."

 

[Hikaru]

The problem with 3e is that a DM will still try and screw you if you cast a Wish, but will seldom do so if you cast a Miracle.

(Plus, Miracle can actually duplicate Wizards spells of up to 7th level without even a cost in XP.)

 

[Kyramus]

Pcs knew there was a traitor in their midst, but couldn't tell which. One player had a wish and wrote down....

"I wish the trader to apear naked in front of us."
I asked him if he was sure, he reread it and fixed it and handed it back and it still stated trader.
ASKED him again if he was sure.
He read it, fixed it again and handed it back with Trader in the wish.

Almost everyone in the party had traded for things earlier in the adventure. Everyone was naked. The player look at me dumbfounded, and I told everyone else to read the wish. They started laughing.

 

[Beckett]

The wishes most likely to get perverted in my group are ones gained from a Deck of Many Things. We enforce a 10 minute real time limit per wish, so with the clock ticking there isn't as much time to fine tune the wording.

The best would be the elf who, hoping to solve some of the campaign mysteries, placed the wish in the DM's hands by saying, "I wish I knew."

The sudden rush of knowledge knocked the elf out. When he awoke, some hours later, all the languages he spoke had been replaced with a harsh, gutteral, demonic tongue. With no means to communicate with him, we concluded he must be possessed. I remember flipping through Aurora's in search of a drill to let out the evil spirits.

edited because even in the first edit I didn't catch all the spelling errors