Worn out scenes

[replicant2]

Heavily armoured opponents, who never actually stop or mitigate a blow with said armour. See just about any fight scene in the LotR trilogy for an example. It would probably be better to go into battle naked in Middle-Earth, at least then you might have a chance of dodging attacks....

Got to agree with this one. I don't know how many movies I've seen (cough) Braveheart (cough) where mailed soldiers are hewn through like tissue paper, arms and legs flying off with every sword-stroke.

Frankly, it's crap. Severing a limb ain't that easy without armor. Trying to cut clear through chain, reinforced with layers of heavy quilted padding and/or leather, then muscle and bone with a single sword stroke is not going to happen. Broken bones, mail driven into wounds, sure. But a sword -- even a heavy, keen edged claymore a. la. the Scottish blades used in Braveheart -- isn't the same thing as a chainsaw or lightsaber.

The problem is even worse when it comes to plate armor. There's tons of historic accounts of knights in full plate dueling for an hour without serious injury. A dagger was specifically invented for the sole purpose of dispatching downed knights with thrusts through eyeslits and other openings, simply because fully armored knights were otherwise too hard to kill. Yet there's lots of movies where a warrior swinging a longsword one-handed will cut off a plate-mailed arm, or leg at the knee.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

How about the main character turning to their parent/true love/spouse/best friend/mentor/trusted buddy, only to learn the parent/true love /spouse/best friend/mentor/trusted buddy is – in fact – evil, possibly insane and in on the evil plot from the start.

Above any beyond being done to death, this always makes me think the hero has really poor skills in picking friends.

 

[Felix]

Yet there's lots of movies where a warrior swinging a longsword one-handed will cut off a plate-mailed arm, or leg at the knee.

I'm going to agree with you for the most part, with one big ol exception...

In Excalibur when Uther is chasing Merlin down to get Arthur back, he's ambushed and knocked off his horse. When he gets up, he grabs his sword and is hit in the back by a sword or axe or something. He cries in pain, turns around and *WHACK* there goes Second Knight From The Left's arm.

But yeah, with that as an exception, I'll agree: armor should protect!

 

[replicant2]

I'm going to agree with you for the most part, with one big ol exception...

In Excalibur when Uther is chasing Merlin down to get Arthur back, he's ambushed and knocked off his horse. When he gets up, he grabs his sword and is hit in the back by a sword or axe or something. He cries in pain, turns around and *WHACK* there goes Second Knight From The Left's arm.

But yeah, with that as an exception, I'll agree: armor should protect!

I don't mind that scene; the sword, after all, is Excalibur, and should cut through armor like tissue paper. Excalibur as a movie doesn't pretend to historic accuracy -- it's highly stylized and deliberately anachronistic. Does anyone really believe that those were "The Dark Ages?" as told in the opening sequence of the film? What dark ages had plate mailed knights riding around sans helmets?

But yeah, generally it's a miracle when armor does protect anyone -- look at Frodo and the mithril shirt in Lord of the Rings. As audiences, we expect anyone stabbed with a weapon or shot with an arrow will be instantly slain, unless they happen to be the hero.

 

[Thanee]

The laws of probability do not apply to movie poker. If all you've got is a straight flush, fold immediately; everyone else has an even better hand.

Not in Lock, Stock and two smoking Barrels.

Bye
Thanee

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Not in Lock, Stock and two smoking Barrels.

Bye
Thanee

Because its an awesome movie that rocks. And I think I'm going to put the DVD in now.

 

[Lord Pendragon]

Friend of mine gets annoyed when the hero/heroes enter a building and proceed to search the place using tiny flashlights, instead of simply turning on the lights.

 

[Wolf72]

Right. If the baddy has attacked me or mine and I have him down, I'm not stopping until I see grey matter.

exactly! ... how many times has Jason been knocked down only to have the witless victim run away ... I'da turned him into hamburger.

... there's also the movies where the female character gets a good hit on a bad guy, stuns him for a moment ... but doesn't follow thru! ... at that point I usually hope the female character gets killed. ... right, and never put your improvised weapon down, keep using it!

 

[MaxKaladin]

Despite the rate of acceleration of the pressure wave in the average explosion (let's say at least 10 dynamite sticks worth), the protagonists will be able to outrun it, and despite a leap at the end that (I guess) is supposed to represent the event horizon of the pressure wave catching the runners, said protagonists will come away unscathed.

If I ever get the chance to make a parody movie, I will include a scene where the protagonists are running from an explosion, one trips over his shoelace and falls. The explosion will stop in place while the protagonist gets up, ties his shoelace and starts running again. Then the explosion will start back up and the scene will continue as normal.

 

[Look_a_Unicorn]

You mean like Hollywood movies with a non-happy ending?

Bye
Thanee

Beat me to it

It's really annoying how Hollywood seems to think that they have to "protect" us by only showing positive outcomes in movies. I don't mean that all elements of escapism should be removed from movies- it's just that there can be beauty in showing how, in real life, your loved ones can die or leave you or that sometimes people can make mistakes and have to live with them rather than it always being whitewashed into a fairytale ending.

Of course sometimes we need pure escapism, definitely. Heroism, glory and victory for the good guys. I'm all for it. But please please please don't say your "protecting innocent minds" by not allowing adolescents to be educated as to the reality of loss, suffering and grief. They are all parts of human existance, and everyone has to face them eventually. Movies that addressed these issues well (and played in something other than small/independant theaters) would potentially help people coming to grips with these things for the first time- as well as entertain.

If this does happen, maybe people would be less ashamed of their hurts and happier to seek comfort and help from family and friends (I think human contact is better than professional help, if one is lucky enough to have access to it)

Or am I wrong and it IS better to hope we can swaddle other humans so well they know only good things for all of their lives?