There was this guy who owned a menagerie; he was a real animal lover. His favorite pets were a pair of porpoises that he had rescued when they beached themselves. He loved then, absolutely doted on them.
But one day, it hit him...someday, those cute porpoises would die. He found the idea intolerable, so he searched far and wide for a way, either scientific or mystical, to keep them alive forever. At last, in the dreaded Necronomicon, he found a ritual to guarantee immortality. He further discovered, much to his joy, that he had all of the ingredients except for two baby seagulls. The spell called for their blood.
So, he went to the seashore, found a gull nest, grabbed two little seagulls, and brought them home. As he approached his house, he saw that the front doorway was blocked by a lion, lying across the way. At first he was terrified, but when the bored lion simply regarded him dully, the man got his courage up. He took a running leap, vaulted across the lounging animal, and made it safely! Suddenly, a pair of cops sprung up out of the bushes and arrested him. The charge?
"Transporting underage gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises!"
Thank you, thank you....
