-
NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Worst Use of English?
- Thread starter moritheil
- Start date
Psionicist
Explorer
The entries in this contest: http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html
The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to pen the world's most atrocious first line to a novel. Winners — and, for that matter, runners-up and honorable mentions — are generally very long. An example from the 2000 contest, singled out by the contest organizer as an especially strong contender:
[...]
I say, bleah. Brevity is the soul of wit, and this goes on and on and on and then it goes on and on and on some more and then it goes on for a bit after that. Long, long, long. Much funnier, sez I, is the likes of this:
Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating.
The non-action of "stood," the vagueness of "there," the involuntary process of ovulation treated as an activity, the inappropriateness of mentioning the volume of that non-activity, the uncomfortably gynecological detail of mentioning it at all — all combine to make a cringeworthy sentence. And since it's only five words long, its impact is instant; you don't have readers slogging through clause after clause after clause. So in 2001 I started a contest much like the Bulwer-Lytton, only with entrants limited to 25 words.
The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to pen the world's most atrocious first line to a novel. Winners — and, for that matter, runners-up and honorable mentions — are generally very long. An example from the 2000 contest, singled out by the contest organizer as an especially strong contender:
[...]
I say, bleah. Brevity is the soul of wit, and this goes on and on and on and then it goes on and on and on some more and then it goes on for a bit after that. Long, long, long. Much funnier, sez I, is the likes of this:
Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating.
The non-action of "stood," the vagueness of "there," the involuntary process of ovulation treated as an activity, the inappropriateness of mentioning the volume of that non-activity, the uncomfortably gynecological detail of mentioning it at all — all combine to make a cringeworthy sentence. And since it's only five words long, its impact is instant; you don't have readers slogging through clause after clause after clause. So in 2001 I started a contest much like the Bulwer-Lytton, only with entrants limited to 25 words.
moritheil
First Post
DungeonmasterCal said:
If your eyes are already going, then you won't have to read this:
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/image/essay/1
genshou
First Post
I agree wholeheartedly! Even worse are US presidents who can't form a proper sentence. And no, I'm actually not thinking of our current president. I'll let you decide for yourselves who I mean.kirinke said:hmmm. Bad use of english.
Any speech written by a modern politician or any speech delivered by a politician. Such language would make Eric's Granny blush with the unpleasantness contained therein.
Thotas
First Post
Something I seem to run into on at least a weekly basis lately: people using the phrase "beg the question", and obviously not knowing what it means.
If someone brings up a point that makes you wonder about something else, that "raises" the question you're about to ask. Or "brings" or "poses" the question. But it doesn't beg the question. Begging the question is a fallacy of logic, in which a conclusion is rendered meaningless because it is referenced in it's own arguement; you'll also hear it called "circular logic".
They are completely different things, and it drives me nuts.
I've had to edit this post twice now because I noticed a spelling or grammar error once I let it go. I hope there are no more remaining!
If someone brings up a point that makes you wonder about something else, that "raises" the question you're about to ask. Or "brings" or "poses" the question. But it doesn't beg the question. Begging the question is a fallacy of logic, in which a conclusion is rendered meaningless because it is referenced in it's own arguement; you'll also hear it called "circular logic".
They are completely different things, and it drives me nuts.
I've had to edit this post twice now because I noticed a spelling or grammar error once I let it go. I hope there are no more remaining!
Last edited:
Jesus_marley
First Post
Irregardless.
Not only is it annoying, but it isn't even a word.
Not only is it annoying, but it isn't even a word.
Warrior Poet
Explorer
A few years ago I discovered a description of the Internet that is, to my mind, the best characterization I have thus far found on the subject:mojo1701 said:
"The Internet is proof that a million monkeys with a million typewriters will NOT produce the works of Shakespeare."
Indeed.
Warrior Poet Monkey
Similar Threads
