That's similar to my experience. I've used disarm exactly once (as a DM). I used counterspell twice, already, though. IIRC, I also used sunder about twice (in a battle against treants). None of these options have ever been used by a player in 5 years of playing 3E.I think I saw a Disarm attempt used once during my years with 3.x, and that was by the DM.
I've never seen counterspell used![]()
I think that's a rare enough occurence, that you don't necessarily need an explicit rule for it. In 4E it also exists as a power and might exist as a monster/npc ability. If a player was really about to try it in 4E, I'd use some ad-hoc ruling based on the suggestions in the DMG.