WotC_PeterS: Magic Items

[TerraDave]

From his white-board of ever-naming .

On the Cubicle Whiteboard: Bad Magic Item Names
Posted By: WotC_PeterS, 2/13/2008 8:42:45 AM


Robe of Useless Items

Weapon of Mass Disruption

Potion of Commotion

+1 Longsword

Louise

+1 Longship

Magic ICBM

Potion of Saltwater

Xeno's Paradox

Jesse's Whip of Flaying

Ring of Marriage

Wings of Falling

Greenish-orange (or greyish-grey) tesseract-shaped ioun stone

Hat of Holding

Human Beat Box

Figurine of Mediocre Power

Whirlpool Sword

Plunger, Flametongue

Bag of Rates

Trident of Giant Lobster Command

Magic Marker

Axe of Frosty Shakes

Axe of Wailing

Hat of Swirly

Decanter of Endless Zima

Roshambo Pants

Deck of 1 or 2 Things

Unportable Hole

Patio of Many Things

Stairs of Climbing

Platemail of Sinking

Commemorative Plate Armor

Book of Literacy

Viscous Axe

Sai of Frustration

Chair of Sitting

Vote for your favorite and I'll give the author of that item a cookie!​

 

[Wormwood]

+1 Longsword

As lame today as it was 30 years ago. Not holding my breath, either.

Deck of 1 or 2 Things

That one deserves a cookie.

 

[Lonely Tylenol]

Occam's Razor

Axe of Wailing

This? This is awesome. I need one of these.

Commemorative Plate Armor

Guaranteed to increase in value!

 

[Doug McCrae]

Whirlpool Sword

Trident of Giant Lobster Command

I think these two are pretty good.

 

[Chris_Nightwing]

I vote for Sai of Frustration. Puntastic.

 

[Stormtalon]

From his white-board of ever-naming .

On the Cubicle Whiteboard: Bad Magic Item Names

Plunger, Flametongue

Vote for your favorite and I'll give the author of that item a cookie!​

Give that person a cookie!

 

[Kobold Avenger]

From his white-board of ever-naming .

On the Cubicle Whiteboard: Bad Magic Item Names

Weapon of Mass Disruption

Magic ICBM

Deck of 1 or 2 Things

​

I could actually do with a Weapon of Mass Disruption and some Magic ICBM, I think those would be great things to have even especially if I was in charge of a 3rd world nation looking for attention.

And a Deck of 1 or 2 Things, that's better than many things that will likely do more harm than good from what you draw.

 

[Evilhalfling]

The deck of 1 or 2 things
The commerative plate armor
Potion of commotion

are lovely. How bout

love potion # 8
lotion of locomotion.
Saalad shooter

 

[grimslade]

More stuff

Mordekainen's Lubrication

Hennett's Buckles of Bilarro

Scroll of Dyslexia

Janitor in a Drum

Rod of Serf-ly Oppression (really it's just a stick with some mud on it)

Spear +1 Backbiter (it's just hokey)

 

[The Right Word]

Book of Literacy... Pure genius