Frostmarrow
First Post
Sealed Entry:
24. When the guy next to you starts eating fistfulls of turd.
24. When the guy next to you starts eating fistfulls of turd.
You know you need a new group when...
- Thread starter DM with a vengence
- Start date
Ralts Bloodthorne
First Post
27. When you realize that every monster out there has had a combination of US Delta Force Training, Russian Spetsnaz training, and Isreali Commando Training.
28. When you'd rather shove hypodermic needles in your eyes that look at any RPG books.
29. When the morning after gaming, you realize you have 500 lbs of empty soda cans, chip bags, and half-eaten snacks on your living room floor. Again.
30. When you can automatically figure out what everyone in the group will do that night by the way they walked in the door.
31. When you find yourself digging out the Dragon Magazine article on world ending plagues.
32. If that old Gamma World monochrome boxed set in the attic is starting to look good.
33. If your Street Samuria stands in the middle of I-5 shooting at traffic with a Streetline Special.
34. When your Investigator starts digging in the graveyard with a shovel, wearing a suit made of human steaks, and blowing on a dog whistle.
35. When you'd rather staple your genitals to a moving boxcar with a nailgun than sit at that table again.
36. After saying: "If he argues one more time, I'll scream." And when it happens, you do it.
For an hour.
37. You go over the table after the idiot who just swallowed two of your lucky dice.
38. When you go to GenCon to look at the freaks and observe them as if you were on Wild Kingdom than actually do anything even remotely aligned with gaming.
39. When looking at your fellow gamers, your realize that RPG doesn't stand for Role Playing Game, but rather Retarded People Grouping.
40. When you get pulled over on the way to the game, and when the cop lets you know that she'll let you off with a warning, you ask if you can go to jail instead.
28. When you'd rather shove hypodermic needles in your eyes that look at any RPG books.
29. When the morning after gaming, you realize you have 500 lbs of empty soda cans, chip bags, and half-eaten snacks on your living room floor. Again.
30. When you can automatically figure out what everyone in the group will do that night by the way they walked in the door.
31. When you find yourself digging out the Dragon Magazine article on world ending plagues.
32. If that old Gamma World monochrome boxed set in the attic is starting to look good.
33. If your Street Samuria stands in the middle of I-5 shooting at traffic with a Streetline Special.
34. When your Investigator starts digging in the graveyard with a shovel, wearing a suit made of human steaks, and blowing on a dog whistle.
35. When you'd rather staple your genitals to a moving boxcar with a nailgun than sit at that table again.
36. After saying: "If he argues one more time, I'll scream." And when it happens, you do it.
For an hour.
37. You go over the table after the idiot who just swallowed two of your lucky dice.
38. When you go to GenCon to look at the freaks and observe them as if you were on Wild Kingdom than actually do anything even remotely aligned with gaming.
39. When looking at your fellow gamers, your realize that RPG doesn't stand for Role Playing Game, but rather Retarded People Grouping.
40. When you get pulled over on the way to the game, and when the cop lets you know that she'll let you off with a warning, you ask if you can go to jail instead.
DM with a vengence
First Post
42) When characters start to be named Redshirt, or simply Bob.
43) When characters are named sequentially with their number of deaths, like Redshirt III.
44) Your 10th level party has one +1 weapon and no spellcasters.
45) When above party is facing standard levels and types of monsters.
46) When the only way to tell the last time someone has bathed is with carbon dating.
47) One person has a god for a character, and is coincidentally dating the DM.
48) Whenever they run into monsters, both factions of the party attempt to turn the monster on the other half and take the PC's loot, because "Players have more stuff then NPCs."
49) The purpose of above stuff is simply having. You could have a dozen greater arrows of dragon slaying, and refuse to use them in the campaign ending fight with the great Wyrm.
50) There are only two ways to get anywhere in game: Threat and application of violence, and sexual favors.
51) The above applies to the DM as well.
43) When characters are named sequentially with their number of deaths, like Redshirt III.
44) Your 10th level party has one +1 weapon and no spellcasters.
45) When above party is facing standard levels and types of monsters.
46) When the only way to tell the last time someone has bathed is with carbon dating.
47) One person has a god for a character, and is coincidentally dating the DM.
48) Whenever they run into monsters, both factions of the party attempt to turn the monster on the other half and take the PC's loot, because "Players have more stuff then NPCs."
49) The purpose of above stuff is simply having. You could have a dozen greater arrows of dragon slaying, and refuse to use them in the campaign ending fight with the great Wyrm.
50) There are only two ways to get anywhere in game: Threat and application of violence, and sexual favors.
51) The above applies to the DM as well.
42. You have to spend actual game time outsmarting the player who spends his time trying to steal from the rest of you.
43. When a fellow party member is killed, the first thing the other players do is loot the corpse.
44. When the guy playing the cleric seriously considers not healing the character at negative hit points, so that he can finally stop worrying about whether his money belt will go missing.
45. When you have to keep track of another player's hit points, armor class, abilities, spells, and equipment because he honestly can't do it for himself.
43. When a fellow party member is killed, the first thing the other players do is loot the corpse.
44. When the guy playing the cleric seriously considers not healing the character at negative hit points, so that he can finally stop worrying about whether his money belt will go missing.
45. When you have to keep track of another player's hit points, armor class, abilities, spells, and equipment because he honestly can't do it for himself.
Tiefling
First Post
52) When the entire party consists of fighters.
53) When you have a shouting match because a player wants to make a new character(because his old one is boring) at the same level as his old character (6th) and complains that I'm being unfair by only letting him have a +1 magic weapon instead of letting him pick out a bunch of stuff from the DMG.
53) When you have a shouting match because a player wants to make a new character(because his old one is boring) at the same level as his old character (6th) and complains that I'm being unfair by only letting him have a +1 magic weapon instead of letting him pick out a bunch of stuff from the DMG.
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