Your spouse doesn't like D&D? Neither did Gary's.

Destan

Citizen of Val Hor
I spent the majority of GenCon sitting next to Rob Kuntz. He was a member of Gary Gygax's and Dave Arneson's original D&D group. I’ve never been known as a “quiet” person, so I took the opportunity to ask him 542 questions about the origins of D&D. What follows is just one little vignette that I found interesting; there were many more. I tried to remember what I could, but I can’t promise I was 100% successful; if something is inaccurate or incomplete, it’s my fault and no one else’s.

Like many of you, my spouse is not a gamer. Hmm…that may be too political. What I’m trying to say is that my wife doesn’t like D&D. She doesn’t understand it. She doesn’t want to. I’m fine with that. She’s nice enough to be an ‘enabler’ for my addiction, and that’s all I ask. After all, I don’t understand her need to shop for antiques. Different strokes.

Nonetheless, it was therefore comforting, as you might imagine, when I learned that even the Grand Daddy of D&D endured a similar relationship.

I’m talking, of course, about Gary Gygax.

Mrs. Gary Gygax did not like ol’ Gary’s gaming habit one bit. Back in the early 70s, Gary was busy pounding the typewriter keys in the subterranean den of his Lake Geneva home. Rob Kuntz, then a teenager, sat on the bed next to Gary’s giant desk. As the pages came off the typewriter, they were handed to Rob. Chain Mail was being developed, and Chain Mail would become OD&D. OD&D, of course, would evolve in turn into AD&D.

It should be noted that Gary is the proud father of not one, not two, but five kids. I’m not sure, to be honest, how many he had back at this time. But, needless to say, he had responsibilities other than giving birth to what would become, for many of us, our most enjoyable pastime.

So, please, picture that scene with me: Gary at the desk, typing madly. Rob on the bed, reading pages about topics and issues that – at that time – were wholly new. Both guys realizing that they were on the cusp of something special. Maybe the sounds of kids running around and breaking things filtering down the steps from the floor above. And then…BOOM.

The door slams open. It’s Gary’s (ex-)wife. She’s not there to offer Gary milk and cookies, she’s not happy, and she’s definitely not a gamer. A curse-filled tirade ensues. Let’s try to sum up the gist of Mrs. Gygax’s animated monologue as follows: “Stop hiding down here writing this [stuff]! It’s a [stuipid] idea that will never amount to anything!”

Gary proceeded to remove his glasses and rub his temples. Rob fled in terror. And Mrs. Gygax, point made, returned upstairs.

And, of course, we know how this all turned out. Gary’s writing did amount to something. A very big something. And that big something brought a big pile o’ money with it. I’d like to think Mrs. Gygax’s view of D&D may have changed in light of its success, but I’m not sure that’s the case.

If there’s a moral or a point to this post, I’m unaware of it. Just thought a few of you might enjoy this anecdote as I did.

Whee!

D
 

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A picture of Gary's first wife once made it around his mailing lists. She was a hottie back then.

Met his current, Gail once years ago. Her attitude towards the whole thing is more along the lines of, [sigh]"Boys"[/sigh]
 

Funny enough, the guy who did Haven:City of Violence had something similar happen to him.

His g/f said that he'd never finish the book and it'd never make to the shelf. While he hasn't made a pile of money, he did get the project done and is currently making a d20 verison to boot.

My own story is a bit sadder. I met my ex at a game club, but when we got married she wanted to put "childish things" away and get realistic expectations. What's realistic about wanting to have children when your still in college with part-time jobs is beyond me.
 

I'm a gamer and a writer. And with all honesty, if my husband left me to deal with 5 kids day in and day out while he hid in the den and wrote, I'd so kick his butt to the curb. Just sayin'.
 




Honeycakes said:
Ummm. . .

Not all spouses are like that!! :D

Hey, welcome to the boards & glad to hear it!

My wife used to really enjoy rolling the dice with my crew before we had kids. Kids definitely put a strain on many things, including time devoted to gaming - I'm sure Destan understands as our kids are about the same ages. My wife continues to be patient, but there are times I have to drop out of the gaming scene for a while to concentrate on the home front. As it should be...

I look forward to the time my kids will be old enough to game a little - that is if they are so inclined. :heh:
 



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