the Jester
Legend
But it's like watching an accident on the other side of the freeway while you drive by- it's so hard not to slow down and crane your neck!
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D&D 5E Dealing with a trouble player and a major blow up
- Thread starter Majoru Oakheart
- Start date
But it's like watching an accident on the other side of the freeway while you drive by- it's so hard not to slow down and crane your neck!
It's okay. I try to only use my powers for good...
..0r, when it's funny. Would smiting you be funny?
Majoru Oakheart
Adventurer
One, likely final, follow up to this thread. I finally made my decision and decided to bow out of my Sunday D&D game. I texted the guy's girlfriend since I figured she'd be more reasonable and said I wasn't coming because I felt that my presence at the table was causing problems and I didn't want to create any more issues for the D&D game.
She told me that I was fine to come on Sundays, it was only my defending of the structure of Adventurer's League that was the problem and calling them both Evil and if I really felt that way about them in real life I should stop talking to them permanently. They cancelled last week and she wanted me to understand that they didn't cancel it because of me, it was just because everyone had plans.
I told her that I never meant that to refer to them in real life and it was never meant to be an offense to them but my problem with showing up on Sunday is that my presence was causing problems and I didn't want to create any more blow ups so I was going to bow out.
She told me that the problem was that me and the other guy were both stubborn and we needed to learn to stay away from volatile topic especially when people around us were hinting about changing the subject.
I told her that my problem is that I had no idea that we were discussing a volatile subject since I was unaware that anyone would really take a silly conversation about D&D alignment seriously. And the last time he blew up I was just DMing a game and didn't realize I did anything wrong until he got up and left. I told her I understand that she has to stick up for him no matter what his behavior is and that I respect her because she'll stand up for him no matter what. I said that I just couldn't deal with it any more and felt it was best that I just no longer attend D&D.
She told me that she doesn't stick up for him because she has to but that she completely believes everything she says. She said that this means we can no longer hang out and said goodbye.
She told me that I was fine to come on Sundays, it was only my defending of the structure of Adventurer's League that was the problem and calling them both Evil and if I really felt that way about them in real life I should stop talking to them permanently. They cancelled last week and she wanted me to understand that they didn't cancel it because of me, it was just because everyone had plans.
I told her that I never meant that to refer to them in real life and it was never meant to be an offense to them but my problem with showing up on Sunday is that my presence was causing problems and I didn't want to create any more blow ups so I was going to bow out.
She told me that the problem was that me and the other guy were both stubborn and we needed to learn to stay away from volatile topic especially when people around us were hinting about changing the subject.
I told her that my problem is that I had no idea that we were discussing a volatile subject since I was unaware that anyone would really take a silly conversation about D&D alignment seriously. And the last time he blew up I was just DMing a game and didn't realize I did anything wrong until he got up and left. I told her I understand that she has to stick up for him no matter what his behavior is and that I respect her because she'll stand up for him no matter what. I said that I just couldn't deal with it any more and felt it was best that I just no longer attend D&D.
She told me that she doesn't stick up for him because she has to but that she completely believes everything she says. She said that this means we can no longer hang out and said goodbye.
I know that you're upset at the moment. For whatever it's worth, I believe you'll be better off without the difficulties of this relationship. For D&D, I think you'll be able to find a new group and hopefully make some new friends. Post something at your local store or talk to some of the folks coming to AL. Online is a great option too.
delericho
Legend
Good. I know it sucks, but it's the right decision. Now... go find a new group filled with more reasonable people!
The Grassy Gnoll
Explorer
It's sad now, but for the best.
It may feel like you rolled a 1, but you'll find in time it's actually a 20.
It may feel like you rolled a 1, but you'll find in time it's actually a 20.
Rabbitbait
Grog-nerd
Well done. A hard decision, but a good decision.
I quoted this because this is where your whole reconciliation attempt failed. Others have said you rolled a 20 but I think you rolled a 1. Here's why:
First point: When there's issues at the table, deal directly with the person you have the issue with. Talk about it over a slice, a cig, a beer...whatever. Friendly conversations grow friendships. But you missed it here.
Secondly, you dissed the girlfriend (not quoted here) without, likely, meaning to. You could have avoided that altogether had you adhered to my first point.
Thirdly, if you don't know your friend's thoughts and attitudes and how to handle them, you've failed to get in deep with that person. Try being deep with people. That usually starts with taking a genuine interest in their lives and their opinions. It doesn't mean you have to agree with them...you just need to be genuine when you ask about them.
I'm not saying this as a put down...just giving you my observations.
In the greater picture...you're out of the situation now. I hope you find a game that's amenable to your personality and tons of fun. Keep rolling the bones. Hope for 20's.
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