Can Dextyr Keep All These Strikers Alive? (DM: JoeNotCharles, Ozymandias79 Judging)

[renau1g]

[sblock=OOC]
You don't want to see me try and draw Blade... my artistic talent level might actually be in the negatives
[/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

"Is okay. You go first."

Tonk prepares himself.

 

[Lord Sessadore]

Tristan steps up to Tonk and nods to him. "I'm afraid my attempt may also be meager compared to you, but here goes." And then throws his fist at Tonk's face.
[sblock=Rolls]Unarmed attack: 1d4=4[/sblock]
Despite not having much bulk to back up the punch, Tristan hits as hard as he could expect to. "That was better than I expected," he muses.

Stepping back and folding his arms behind his back, Tristan sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. "Go ahead, Tonk." Just think of Dextyr. You get to do this with him next for putting you through this ... yes, vengeance will come soon. Heh. Just before Tonk's fist collides with his face, an odd little smile creeps onto the elf's lips.

 

[H.M.Gimlord]

Boys

Mikara views the bludgeoning spectacle from a distant vantagepoint.

She thinks herself hidden, but Tristan and Blade sense that someone is watching. From where, they are not sure.

[sblock=OOC Mikara, after already having been to the temple once wishes not to be seen approaching just yet. She stops cautiously some distance away, peering through a fence. 1d20 +9 +1 = 21 (+1 for distance, but then I remembered that this is for listening and not stealth. It doesn't seem to change the result though). [/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

"Is good punch! Is good punch!"

Tonk throws his punch from the hip.

[sblock=Roll]Since you're a striker with more HP than my character...
Punch + Hunter's Prey + Furious Assault (1d4+1d6+1d4+4=13)
[/sblock]
"Is good for soul! Here is hug!" Tonk grabs Tristan and pats him on the back, "I saw smile! See? Punch Brother is like sunshine in dark place of heart. Is fun, with bruise and sometime concussion. It make you realize you are not you job. You are not how much gold you have in bag of holding. You are not the weapon you carry. You are not the content of you backpack. You not you armor. You is all-sing, all-dance poop of world!"

"Okay, now is other people turn! We all become like space monkey and fly to star of enlighten."


[sblock=By the way...]Could one of you guys with the ridiculously high Passive Perception scores please notice the elf?[/sblock]

 

[H.M.Gimlord]

Mikara emerges from behind the fence. Dropping her pride, she approaches the half-orc.

"Is 'Punch Sister' a ritual in your family as well?"

For some reason, the threatening size and strength of this creature is of little concern to her, though it should be. In some ways, his simple nature generates a pleasing contrast to this city of over-complexity.

"If so, you throw the first punch."

She places her hands behind her back an smiles at the orc as if expecting to receive a gift. She knows what's coming, but she figures she'll worry about the pain when it happens.

 

[KenHood]

"Hello, pretty lady who step from shadow! Before I hit you, I must tell you our love is doom from start. One, even though you have tight bottom and slim waist and firm...*slurp*..." Tonk wipes drool off his tusks. "Excuse me. Even though, I am not one with the Forest Fever, which is to say crazy for elf girl. Two, I know even though you look pretty and young, you is old as hill and maybe mountain, so is like May-December relationship, and Mama say, 'Tonk, is okay if marry more old woman, but not if her egg dry like dust, because Mama want grandbaby!' Three, half-orc is okay. Half-elf is okay. Half-elf, half-half-orc no is okay. So, no baby. So, even though our love strong and last forever, in late day, when I old and you still look pretty, you say, 'Oh, Tonk, my one wish is for to have baby with you!' And I say, 'Oh, pretty elf lady, my one wish is for you to have baby of me!' Then, our final time together is bittersweet, with always one regret. And I die before you die. And you mourn me forever, and always wish for to have half-elf, half-half-orc baby. Is much sad and make me want to cry just to think it. So I say all this for to let you know, we have professional relationship with no look of longing or little flirt or sniff of hair, because it make happy in short time, but it make much sad in long time. Okay?"

"Now, if you stand still, I hit you in face."

Tonk opens the all-you-can-eat knuckle sandwich buffet for the elf girl.

[sblock=Damage]Punch (1d4+4=6) Sorry, can't honor you with all the extra damages. Didn't have five minutes of rest.[/sblock]

"Okay. It maybe make you more attractive that you take good punch, but relationship is still doom, so no shake hip around me and tempt me! I stand on principal. Okay, is your turn!"

Tonk folds his hands behinds his back and waits.

 

[Lord Sessadore]

Tonk's punch snaps Tristan's head back, and when he feels his face afterward he notices a split lip. Oooh ... Dextyr's gonna get it. After the crushing hug, he manages to squeeze out "Very profound, Tonk, yes."

Shaking his head to clear the stars in his vision from the punch and the suffocating hug, Tristan returns to his senses just as a fifth person joins their little group of punching bags.

Mikara emerges from behind the fence. Dropping her pride, she approaches the half-orc.

"Is 'Punch Sister' a ritual in your family as well?"

For some reason, the threatening size and strength of this creature is of little concern to her, though it should be. In some ways, his simple nature generates a pleasing contrast to this city of over-complexity.

"If so, you throw the first punch."

She places her hands behind her back an smiles at the orc as if expecting to receive a gift. She knows what's coming, but she figures she'll worry about the pain when it happens.

"Oh, it was you. I thought there was someone else here, but couldn't look, because, well, I'm sure you saw." Shaking his head and blinking again, Tristan is either still trying to clear his head after the punch, or is trying to get his head around this slim elven lady asking to be punched by Tonk, with no outside pressure.

"Hello, pretty lady who step from shadow! Before I hit you, I must tell you our love is doom from start. One, even though you have tight bottom and slim waist and firm...*slurp*..." Tonk wipes drool off his tusks. "Excuse me. <Long speech on the intricacies of elf-half-orc romantic relationships.> Okay?"

Tristan stands behind Tonk and exaggeratedly mouths to the elven lady, "Humor him," adding a wink for good measure.

"Now, if you stand still, I hit you in face."

Tonk opens the all-you-can-eat knuckle sandwich buffet for the elf girl.

[sblock=Damage]Punch (1d4+4=6) Sorry, can't honor you with all the extra damages. Didn't have five minutes of rest.[/sblock]

"Okay. It maybe make you more attractive that you take good punch, but relationship is still doom, so no shake hip around me and tempt me! I stand on principal. Okay, is your turn!"

Tonk folds his hands behinds his back and waits.

Still a little surprised by her volunteering, Tristan seems impressed with her for taking a punch from the brute. "Welcome to the club," he says with a smile.

"Now, I believe it is time for Dextyr and I to become Punch Brothers." Tristan turns to face Dextyr, and a not-quite-smile unfolds. "Do you want to go first, or shall I?"

 

[H.M.Gimlord]

...So I say all this for to let you know, we have professional relationship with no look of longing or little flirt or sniff of hair, because it make happy in short time, but it make much sad in long time. Okay?"

"Now, if you stand still, I hit you in face."

[sblock=OOC I laughed for 5 whole minutes. I cried. I had to pick myself up off the floor. Joe should give you double XP after this one if you keep up like this![/sblock]

Prepared for the worst, Mikara is surprised, and also a little disappointed, that Tonk's blow didn't seem as bad as the one that landed on Tristan's jaw. Nor did it seem to leave as bad a mark.

Wiping the blood from a small split on her lip, she figures that poetry might be misconstrued as an attempt to flirt, so she opts for prose...

"Thank you for your brotherhood and your concern. I will do my best to maintain a professional relationship with you.

OK. My turn."

[sblock=Unarmed Attack Damage] 1d4=2 [/sblock]

Mikara's punch barely phases the brute, yet her knuckles will ache for days.

 

[DMDanW]

Tonk takes the punch.

A beat after it hits. He rocks back on his heels, holding his face. "Ow! It hurt! Is good punch!"

He looks at Dextyr. You can tell that Tonk is faking the pain, so that he won't hurt Dextyr's feelings. "Never been punched so hard, ever. You very strong!"

---​

Tonk does a huge wind-up, cocks his fast, and hurls forward his punch, pulling it at the last moment.

OOC: Punch damage (1d4+4=5).
​

"Now for hug!"

Tonk picks Dextyr off his feet in a massive bear-hug.

"Oh! Is okay to cry! Is much catharsis!" he sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Punch Brother no about win or lose. It no about word. The crazy shout be tongues, like in Festival of Wine God. When punch over nothing is solve, but nothing matter. We all is save."

Dextyr adjusts his jaw and checks to see if all his teeth remain intact but can't help but laught at Tonks overreaction to the meager punch he delivered. Wow, the guy is a big simple brute but he is really a good hearted person...
Dextyrs thought is cut short as he is enveloped in a huge bearhug that forces the breath out of his lungs.

"Urrgghh I'mmm nnott crryying....yoouurr ssqquueezzinggg ouuut alll tthhee fluuiiidd frromm myy bboodyyy....uurggh"

With that Tonk drops him to the ground and Dextyr gives him a pat on the shoulder.

"It is an honor Tonk to be now bonded in Punch-Brotherhood. May our upcoming adventures be sung about for generations"

Tonk's punch snaps Tristan's head back, and when he feels his face afterward he notices a split lip. Oooh ... Dextyr's gonna get it. After the crushing hug, he manages to squeeze out "Very profound, Tonk, yes."

.............

"Now, I believe it is time for Dextyr and I to become Punch Brothers." Tristan turns to face Dextyr, and a not-quite-smile unfolds. "Do you want to go first, or shall I?"

All Dextyr can do is give a helpless shrug with an apologetic look towards Tristan as the elf sneers at Dextyr and prepares for their 'rite of passage'.

Dextyr walks closer to Tristan and holds his hands behind his back and whispers loud enough that only Tristan can hear him "It was the only thing I could think of to keep him out of the bishops office and us out of the city dungeon....I'll heal everyone up after we get this over with" and then continues in a louder voice " You can have the honor of going first" and then takes a small step back giving Tristan room to wind up and deliver his punch.