Character Submission Thread

[Systole]

Quick review of Corbin:

1. The Adopted trait doesn't allow you to pick a racial ability like halfling luck. It allows you to select a trait from the list of race traits that belong to your adopted family.
2. Whew, you sure you want to dump Dex that much? Your call. Still, if you are going to be that much of a klutz, I for one would think it would be a partof your character's backstory.
3. You can probably get rid of the spell lists known section. It's not really that worthwhile for clerics.

 

[airwalkrr]

Got it. I misunderstood the trait. I'll correct that or pick another trait.

 

[Maidhc O Casain]

Howdy, airwalkrr!

 

[Aura]

Reviewing Corbin Elmentis

This is my non-judge review of Corbin. Approval requires two approvals, at least one of which coming from a judge. I'm generally against changing character sheets, with the exception of the most obvious typo (you had one). So the rest is for you to consider. If I make a review error, feel free to point it out. Although I do my best, I do make mistakes.

Stuff that Needs to be Changed:
* I don't see any reason why your damage with a short bow is reduced, it seems you have a full 1d6 coming to you.
* As already noted, Adopted only lets you pick a racial trait, not a racial feature. I'd suggest taking something for reflex saves as a substitute, unless something more concept-oriented occurs to you.
* I get a total gold expenditure of 135.12gp, 1 sp less than you get. You seem to have 1 sp coming to you.

Stuff that Could be Changed:
* Due to a LPF house rule, you get one bonus regional language that you may choose.

Notation Issues and Typos:
* Your CON cost seems incorrect, although the final numbers all add up, so this looks like a typo (corrected.)
* The Morningstar's ability to do two damage types at the same time would be a useful notation under 'special'.

Comments:
* Your check penalties for DEX-related skills are currently balanced at -6 for armor and -6 for load carried, so it's worth mentioning you'd have to improve both to better than -6.
* Liberation + Travel = I really want to move where I want, when I want. Nice feature.
* A good background always ends with a nod to the DWI.
* DEX 7 is a very substantial disadvantage to be working with. I'd like to remind you could have the 'still really awesome' WIS of 19 and buy the DEX up to 10.
* Halflings. Everyone loves halflings.
* I have a human cleric with CHA 14 and the same two initial feats. 7 Channels a day is a good ride.

So NOT YET; just a little tweaking and you're there.

 

[airwalkrr]

Howdy, airwalkrr!

Thanks, Mowgli. I've often thought about joining LPF, but was never comfortable with the system until my tabletop group IRL converted a few months ago. I look forward to joining the LPF community!

Reviewing Corbin Elmentis

This is my non-judge review of Corbin. Approval requires two approvals, at least one of which coming from a judge. I'm generally against changing character sheets, with the exception of the most obvious typo (you had one). So the rest is for you to consider. If I make a review error, feel free to point it out. Although I do my best, I do make mistakes.

Stuff that Needs to be Changed:
* I don't see any reason why your damage with a short bow is reduced, it seems you have a full 1d6 coming to you.

Relic of a previous build attempt with Str dumped. Fixed.

* As already noted, Adopted only lets you pick a racial trait, not a racial feature. I'd suggest taking something for reflex saves as a substitute, unless something more concept-oriented occurs to you.

Fixed. I picked up Sacred Conduit (Faith) instead.

* I get a total gold expenditure of 135.12gp, 1 sp less than you get. You seem to have 1 sp coming to you.

Recalculated and your are correct. Fixed.

Stuff that Could be Changed:
* Due to a LPF house rule, you get one bonus regional language that you may choose.

Thanks! Choose Old Landellian and also referenced it in the BG.

Notation Issues and Typos:
* Your CON cost seems incorrect, although the final numbers all add up, so this looks like a typo (corrected.)

Thank you.

* The Morningstar's ability to do two damage types at the same time would be a useful notation under 'special'.

Done. Also added for the shortbow and dagger.

Comments:
* Your check penalties for DEX-related skills are currently balanced at -6 for armor and -6 for load carried, so it's worth mentioning you'd have to improve both to better than -6.

I'll make a note.

* Liberation + Travel = I really want to move where I want, when I want. Nice feature.

Yes, I've always liked the combination. Mobility is so very useful for a cleric.

* A good background always ends with a nod to the DWI.

Thank you.

* DEX 7 is a very substantial disadvantage to be working with. I'd like to remind you could have the 'still really awesome' WIS of 19 and buy the DEX up to 10.

I like playing highly specialized characters. Corbin is an exceptionally talented divine caster which I worked into his background and traits. I also don't mind--actually rather enjoy--characters with flaws. There are so few well-balanced people in the actual world; and so few heroes for that matter. Even Superman is vulnerable to kryptonite and magic and couldn't hope to outlast Lex Luthor in chess for more than 10 moves. It invites special challenges for him to overcome. Besides all that, clerics are not particularly well-known for their ability to use Dex-based abilities, given that they often wear heavy armor and carry shields. So I don't mind the handicap.

* Halflings. Everyone loves halflings.

So do I. One of my favorite races. I enjoyed finding a way to work them into the background of a human character.

* I have a human cleric with CHA 14 and the same two initial feats. 7 Channels a day is a good ride.

Completely agree. At low levels at least, channeling is a substantial way to keep the party healed.

So NOT YET; just a little tweaking and you're there.

Everything should be fixed now.

 

[Aura]

Second Look at Corbin Elmentis

I added approval to Corbin, then I remembered one cannot have two traits of the same kind, except general. So that's the only issue I see right now.

Oh, and I'd encourage some artwork/image.

Everything else is looking great!

SO CLOSE

 

[airwalkrr]

Second Look at Corbin Elmentis

I added approval to Corbin, then I remembered one cannot have two traits of the same kind, except general. So that's the only issue I see right now.

Oh, and I'd encourage some artwork/image.

Everything else is looking great!

SO CLOSE

I must have missed that rule regarding traits in character creation. I will go back and look for another later today.

I will definitely get some artwork up there soon. I just need time to search for something that fits my image of him.

 

[Scott DeWar]

'Bout time you got over here Airwalker!

 

[airwalkrr]

Hey Scott!

Corbin should be done now. Swapped Sacred Conduit (Faith) out for Focused Mind (Magic).

 

[Aura]

Final Check Out: Corbin Elmentis

Focused Mind is a good choice, too.

STAMP! Corbin has one non-judge APPROVAL. Feel free to chat it up in the Dunn Wright Inn while a judge takes a look. A bunch of lower levels just finished Rodents of Unusual Size, so you may well have some company.