"It big man who look like mix of hedgehog and turtle, and he have SIX ARMS!"
"He say, 'Tonk, I is Crazy Mace Master from other universe! Let us make with the Brawl of Friendship!"
"I say, 'Okay!'"
"So we make with the Brawl, and he beat me silly. Look!"
Tonk shows off the bandages, bruises, avulsions, and other assorted injuries.
"After Brawl finish, he grab me by both ear and pull my face to his face and say, 'Tonk, I come to teach you Crazy Secret Awesome Truth of Mace because heart of you is pure and love of mace is first in you heart, after love of Mama and Papa and puppy and goodness!'"
"I say, 'Okay!'"
"So he say, 'Listen close, Tonk! If you want be Crazy Mace Master, you no just swing mace, you need BE mace!'"
"I say, 'How?'"
"He say, 'Mace hit with head, so YOU hit with head. There boulder. Hit boulder with head until you enlighten with Crazy Secret Awesome Truth of Mace!'"
"So, I do! It take long time, because I keep get knock out, but after while is sudden enlighten and I know Crazy Secret Awesome Truth of Mace!"
"So, he say, 'Now is truth, Tonk! You is Crazy Mace Master in Training! Here is diploma!'"
"And, he give me this!"
Tonk produces a piece of animal hide adorned with crude Giantish writing and what appears to be a cartoon of a happy six-armed hedgehog-turtle beating an armored knight with a huge mace.
"Then, he disappear! POOF! So, I call Mama and Papa and tell them. They so happy, they give me early birthday present, so now I have magic armor and magic boot and magic badge and magic throw star that go BOING! It awesome!"
"Then, before I come here, I remember for to get letter of reference from Zink-Zink Man at temple."
"Then, here I is!"