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Game Derailment

Jan van Leyden

Adventurer
The characters were at an audience with a High Priest who wanted to give them the most important quest to retrieve the Holy Garment of Hurnoth.

To drive home the importance of the task I stood up, raised my arms in priestly fashion and fired up my most dramatic voice.

Somewhere in the midst of a truly memorable oration within a tenth of a second two players interrupted me and asked two different questions. In the time honoured tradition of GMs I tried to process their questions in the back of my mind, while still proceeding with the speech. Somehow the questions just didn't compute. I simply collapsed, the result being a most dramatic:

"So I beseech you to retrieve the Holy Ga... ga... ga!!!"
 

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boar

First Post
Our group broke into a mages' tower. We had a magical key that, like a dowsing rod, pulled in the direction of a room we needed to find. The character who had the key hadn't taken it out yet when the key began to pull, so the DM announced: "You feel a tug in your pocket."
 

Ahzad

Explorer
there have been quite a few over the years. so much so that one player has taken it on himself to chronicle all the one liners and such that has made the table bust up over the years in a little notebook.

once while gaming in the FR, the players insist that during my description of Lady Alustriel as a pretty colored wiener shintzel which I totally deny.

one player i had who was playing a lizard man once said in reference to a npc's beauty that he prefers his women with egg bearing hips.

once shortly after i returned from overseas i was playing in a friends game with my brother who was playing a thief who for some reason was shape changed to look like Elminster. I had no idea i thought he was Elminster was sure why but I rolled with it having just jumped into the game. We were playing through an awesome Dungeon adventure called A Rose for Talakara. Anyway we were in the finally battle my mage had exhausted everything he had, the big bad was on the ropes and i yelled for my brother to cast a spell b/c i was tapped out. And he was like i'm a thief i don't cast spells. i was but you are elminster and he said i'm just disguised as him for the perks. guess i should've known that but in the heat of the battle i just didn't think about it. he kept using wands and such to emulate magic the whole time.

in another game we were introducing a friend into the game and during the battle another player kept trying kill him, and we were like Steve that's Gabe he's on our side, and he was I know that I want to kill the monster and kept pointing at Gabe's mini, and wash, rinse and repeat for about 10 minutes. for some reason he could grasp that Gabe's mini was on our side. cracked us up and still does when we all get together.

don't remember the context of this one but it was, What is the hardness of a dwarf?

I wish I had the notebook with me b/c there is a ton of little things but those are what i remember off the top of my head.
 



TarionzCousin

Second Most Angelic Devil Ever
In Gloomwrought, there is a nefarious organization called "The Veiled League." After the third time the DM called it "The Veal'd League" it set off nearly twenty minutes of baby cow/food jokes.

That cured him.
 


Wolf1066

First Post
In Gloomwrought, there is a nefarious organization called "The Veiled League." After the third time the DM called it "The Veal'd League" it set off nearly twenty minutes of baby cow/food jokes.

That cured him.
Cured Veal? Hope you milked it for all it's worth.

I look back on years of games that wound up dissolving into hysterics that interrupted play for anything up to twenty minutes or so at a time - and not just the games that featured characters that were deliberately comical (like a kamp captain that took pretty much anything that was said "the wrong way").

A couple stick out in my mind as particularly devastating:

Playing Cyberpunk and discussing some of the full-body conversions available: The Dragoon (Chromebook 2, pp 80-83) was mentioned - over 8' tall, 620lb, military cyborg.

I told the players that they were military only and they were equipped with a remote-kill system - in case the soldier decided to defect or desert - that could flash incinerate the living brain. And because these babies were worth so much money and often packed with sensitive equipment, there was also an internal autopilot with a recall function that would enable the machine to return to base after the destruction of the human brain.

This was explored to absurdity, winding up with a description of an 8', 620lb, heavily armed and armoured cyborg shambling through the war-ravaged streets seeking...

BRAIIIIINS!!

The idea of Zombie Full-Body Cyborgs had players and GM (me) rolling around on the floor incapable of playing for quite some time.

Most recently, in the current campaign, I decided that the Fixer the team used should have a non-standard marital arrangement.

They met the fixer - an attractive woman - and later one of her assistants, a man, whom she addressed as "babe". They drew the obvious conclusion that he was her "bit" and commented to that effect.

"Oh no," she said airily, "that's Amber and Mona's husband".

Who are Amber and Mona? the team asks.

"Amber's my wife", came the off-hand reply.

After a bit of jibing, one of the characters made some comment that prompted the fixer to say "well, Mona's looking for another partner if you don't mind sharing."

One of the players collapsed across his character sheet and lay on the floor howling with laughter. That set me off and the game was interrupted as we dissolved into fits of hysteria. My face and ribs ached and I was fighting to avoid doing something most people stop doing a few months/years after potty-training.

Took us quite a while to regain our composure and resume the game.

Later, the player told me what really set him off was the fact that the woman who was looking for a second partner was called "Moaner"...
 

Smoss

First Post
My memory popped up a couple more.... Getting too old.

One was when I started RP-ing way back in college while I was nigh constantly drunk (Humorous on its own). A friends suggested that after the 1v1 honor battle with the Hobgoblin General (That I won), that I should "tweak his nose". I promptly did. And things looked really bad after that as they were PISSED... So he yells "CHARGE!" By coincidence, we had delayed the hobs long enough for the human army to arrive and the cavalry ran past to slaughter the enemy. To this day he yells out charge when in a bad situation, hoping for a repeat...
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The other involves a half-elf priest of Torm. He often used the old 2E spell Produce Flame, and this case was no exception. We were fighting giants and he called upon his deity's power (Which granted 18/100 strength for a brief period). He rolls a critical for a punch with his strengthened flaming fist. His quote left us laughing as well as in pain...

"Considering the height difference and the critical hit, I can only say one thing... FLAMING GIANT BALLS!"
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Smoss
Doulairen (Doulairen)
Or go directly to details on my RPG system:
RPG System (Doulairen)
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
Awesome!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bB5xL577r4]YouTube - Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls Of Fire (From "Jerry Lee Lewis And Friends" DVD)[/ame]
 

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