Game Derailment

[pukunui]

Funny stuff. Here's my contribution:

In our last 4e campaign, we were exploring the Pyramid of Shadows when we came across my character's brother in a trapped chapel. My character was a female eladrin bard and her brother was the former character of the current DM (I started out DMing 4e but decided to stop and switch to playing, and in my last session, I had his character, an eladrin wizard, get sucked into a magic mirror, which promptly broke).

Anyway, suspicious that it might be some sort of trick (and it turns out I was right, as my character's "brother" was really a succubus in disguise), I described my character approaching her brother and giving him a hug. My intention was that she was touching him to see if his appearance was just an illusion or if he really was her brother, but of course the way I said it came out rather wrong ... and I'm sure you can guess where it went from there. I didn't exactly say that my character was feeling her brother up, but that's certainly how everyone else took it. It took a few minutes for the wisecracks to die down enough for us to resume playing.


Another good one dates back to my last 3.5 campaign. I was running a Red Hand of Doom game, and I had beefed up an encounter with some evil cleric woman in Drellin's Ferry (can't remember her name, but the module suggests her character as an area where you should feel free to embellish things). At one point, she is supposed to give the PCs poisoned healing potions. After discovering this in the heat of battle, they went to confront the woman in her shop. She protested her innocence of course, so one of my players announced that his character, a burly human fighter type, intended to leap over the shop counter and grab the woman so he could spank her. I think that stopped the game for a bit. We've yet to let him forget about that one ... in fact, I'd say it's about time for a reminder.

 

[Siberys]

Another example of terrible mispronunciation;

A couple weeks ago, I was running my players through character creation for a Kingmaker game I run after-hours at my FLGS. Some players were asking me fluff questions while I was helping a relative newcomer with her character; it had to do with the city or country that the group was from, which would be either Restov (the city) or Brevoy (the country). Since I was focusing on building a character, my mind ran the two together, and I responded with 'Brestoy'.

Needless to say, I instantly became the target of a half-dozen poorly-thought-out "So, you thinking about something else, hrm?" jokes.

 

[Nexilis]

My table had to stop and catch it's breath for about 5 minutes after I asked one of the heads of the central wizard guild if she'd like to pet my weasel. She politely refused, and Fluffers retreated back into my pocket saddened that the pretty lady didn't wanna say hi.

 

[wolff96]

I was DM'ing a session when the group came into the foyer of a large mansion, long since fallen into disrepair. I described the crumbling rock walls, the partially fallen ceiling, and then mentioned that it would be difficult to move around the room because of all the debris on the ground. Later on, they passed back through the room, which I immediately referred to as the "RUBBER-strewn foyer".

Without batting an eye, one player said 'whoever used this place last threw one hell of a party'. Total chaos.

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In another game, where I was a player, we had just made it to a new town.

The thief wandered off on his own, managed to get framed for a murder (long story), and arrested.

So our elven magic-user -- complete with intimidating cloak, deep voice, facial scars, and otherworldly air -- goes up to the local tavern wench and asks "Excuse me, miss, what are the rules around here for murdering someone?"

When she fled, shrieking in terror, the PLAYER'S genuine lack of comprehension turned something mildly amusing into a hold-onto-your-bladder laugh fest. He was so totally in the dark as to WHY he had terrified the woman...

 

[Negflar2099]

My game was derailed one time because I couldn't stop using the word undulating. At first it wasn't so bad but I couldn't stop using it. Every time I needed a word to describe the way the monsters moved or the way the scary walls look that was the word.

Plus once I named an elf character Selvanus. Then later on I needed a name for another elf and I forgot I had already used that one so Selvanus it was. My players never let me live it down. From that moment on whenever an elf NPC came onto the scene every would burst out hey it's Selvanus.

Stupid players.

 

[Drakmor]

Game derailment going on right now (proving my players are apparently sadistic, at least to one another)

During a break in play the players were discussing the events of the last few sessions when one (the player of the wizard) said "We're having some serious bad luck." to which with no pause the player of cleric said "No, we're having some serious bad wizard." Horrible joke, but:

The player of the wizard for some reason found this hilarious but unfortunately for him, he was drinking pop and it went down the wrong pipe, cue coughing fit, which the rest of the players found hilarious.

As I type this a few stand over my shoulder still laughing.

All in all, send help, please!