dragonhead
First Post
at least now he dosent have to pay a body artist to peirce his balls now 
Guy at my Wife's work nailed his Testicle to a House.
Vraille Darkfang
First Post
Ok,
After all the Rumors and Stories (many exaggerated, some not) I can now do a correct presentation of events leading up to the accident (or the “Why we now get paid to watch a stupid safety video for 2 hours” as other workers now call it).
As the day started, it seemed to Bob (Expert, level 2; Not his real name) to be a normal, regular day. He was scheduled to work on roofing as he always was. He greeted this day like any other, with a curse to make it through as fast as possible so he could stop by the bar before Happy Hour was over. Little did he know he’d be on the receiving end of some narcotics to which not even a Lake Superior amount of Bud-Light could begin to approach.
His Mission:
Secure Wall Studs to the Roof Frame of 6 Pre-Fab Houses.
His Tools:
An Electric Nail Gun with a 100 Nail Capacity & 50’ of Heavy Duty Cord. Several Thousand 5- Inch Ridged Nails (the Ridges allow the Nail to ‘Bite’ into the wood, so they are very hard to pull out). Bill (Expert, level 1; not his real name either), whose job is to go around and Staple Guide Plates over where the Stud Meets the Roof so Bob knows where to fire the Nail Gun. Also around 50’ of Scaffolding to allow access to the Roof Frame.
The Encounter (EL 2):
There is around 70’ of Roofing to be done, leaving nearly 20’ Unscaffolded. Bob, thinking about that refreshing Pitcher of $2 Bud-Light back at the Tavern, realizes that every Round spent at work is 1 less round he can spend drinking. Thus, speed is of the essence. Now, Bob must come up with a Plan. He quickly derides Bill’s idea of Nailing 50’, then dragging the scaffolding the remaining 20’ as too time consuming (plus that scaffolding is bleepin’ heavy). Bob ridicules Bill’s LN Alignment about doing things “The Official Way” and decides to show him what some CG ingenuity can do!
Bob will do 50’ the ‘Right Way’, but will then walk along the roof Beams and finish the last 20’. He quickly realizes that he shouldn’t of taken the Flaw “Lower Back Pain” for implementing any plan involving constantly bending over. Thus, Bob implements Plan B.
For Plan B, Bob will straddle the roof beams and fire the Nail Gun from a sitting position. This goes better, but, alas is slow and awkward. The Swinging Motion he uses with the Gun forces his swing too far and he is unable to get more than 1 Stud before being force to move. Bob then makes an intelligence check. Success! The problem is the Gun is meant to be swung like a hammer, a Central Cylinder with a near 90 degree handle, thus the swinging movement. If Bob were to hold the Central Cylinder in both hands & bring it down at a 90 degree angle, he will be able to get 3 Studs Nailed before needing to move. Bob can taste his beer already.
Then the cruel, cruel, cruel, supposedly benevolent god OSHA rear his ugly head. For the Church of Construction to appease this vengeful deity, all Items must have a ‘Safety Device’ to be activated. In this case, his Gun has a trigger on the handle to be depressed for the Gun to Activate. Bob cannot hold this trigger down while grasping it by the central cylinder. Fortunately, Bob has Ranks in Disable Device. Along with the +2 Equipment Bonus from his Minor Wondrous Item “Duct Tape” he rolls high enough to Bypass the “Safety Device”. Bob is now a Nail Hammering Machine.
Rapid Shot, Multi-Shot, Haste (Material Component, Folgers). Bob is flying along. BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! Move Action. BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! Move Action. Every 12 Inches, 3 Nails solidly through a 3” Frame & into a Stud. Bob finds it easy to just ready his actions every round, and fantasize about Beer & Hot Wings. Then, as his monotonous grove has gotten him to his second pitcher, a foreboding change occurs. Due to Window Placement, the next Stud is not 12” Away, but 18”, placing the Stud Firmly between his thighs. No Problem, Bob confidently rolls his D20. Darn that 3. Bob Nails his Pants to the Roof Beam. Bob then fails his Will save and is Shaken. The -2 to hit really hurts, as Bob Not only Sends a Nail through his other Pants Leg, but a Good Chunk of his Thigh as Well (1d4 Damage). Bob Screams. A Manly Scream! A scream of Rage Conan would take pride in (although he might not get all of the 4 letter obscenities used).
Bob then drops the Nail Gun (Most of this record comes from Bill. Not the initial record he gave to the other workers, but the one he gave to the Plant Manager later).
The Gun Falls. Bill is unsure whether it was pure gravity, or Bob leaning over, but the Safety Trigger Bypassed Weapon fell, Business end first, to make contact with Bob’s Crotch. Bill Clearly remembers the “Thump” of the Nail gun going off. Bill’s tale of how he believed Bob to be OK, as the Nail was Nearly Flush with the Wood is still the Highest Perform (Horror) check most listeners will ever hear (male listeners, anyway).
Alas, (for Bob). The Nail had indeed pierced his Flesh. Specifically, the Nail impaled his Scrotum, Left Testicle and 4.75” of wood. The good news for Bob he made his Fortitude Save vs Crushing Damage to avoid Testicular Rupture. The bad news was he took another 1d4 damage and effectively Grappled-Pinned to the Roof Frame. Bob also screamed. Not the manly obscenity filled roar of mere moments ago, but rather a single-note piglet squeal of a pitch no member of the Vienna Boys’ Choir, Past, Present, of Future could hope to come within 3 octaves of. This is when the other workers made their Listen Checks (as obscenity-laced screams of pain are rather common, whereas Glass-Breaking Squeals of Terror don’t happen that often) and began to approach.
Bob was Pinned. In Three Places (Pants, Thigh, Testicle). But, Bob knows his d20 Rules. Bob knows that to escape a Grapple is a Full Round Action. Bob takes said Full-Round Action.
Grapple 1: Bob Versus the Nail through his Pants Only. Bob rolls low. Bob Right Pants’ Leg is still firmly Fastened.
Grapple 2: Bob Versus Nail through Pants & Thigh. Bob rolls good. Bob leg jerk rips his thigh muscle off of the nail. Unfortunate, his Denim does not rip, those he is still impaled (This is conjecture based on when Bill made his Spot check to see the massive Red Spot forming on Bob’s Jeans).
Grapple 3: Bob Versus Nail through Pants & Testicle. Nat 1. His attempt to pull the Nail out of the wood via his Scrotum fails horribly. The only result was a +4 Circumstance Bonus to his Perform (Scream like Little Girl) Check.
Note: It will be several more rounds before anybody thinks to make a Heal Check (in this case a DC 10 “CALL 911”). It will then be several more rounds before any other Heal Checks are attempted. These very from the DC 2 “Are you in Pain?” to the DC 15 “Put Pressure on his Leg Wound!”
Several Turns Later, the Experts (level 3, Max Ranks in Heal) show up. Their leader is a CG Paramedic who finds this way more humorous than Bob. He realizes there is very little he can do with Bob Affixed to Wooden Beams 15’ in the Air. He will have to come down. As removing the nails is impossible (Without destroying Bob 1-B) the whole Beam he is fastened to will need to come down. Out comes the Circular Saw. (And some really cool drugs that do like 6d6 Wisdom & render you incapable of feeling any part of your body).
As the medicine takes effect, Bob no longer cares about the shaft of steel through his scrotum. He no longer cares about Beer. He does not notice the Paramedic Cutting his pants off to bandage the massive wound in his thigh. He no longer cares that the Paramedic has gotten a Dremel with the Diamond Disc Bit and is approaching his Crotch.
Yes, in true Mcguyver Fashion, the paramedic uses a Dremel to Saw the Head off the Nails. The Crotch one is tricky, it saws a bit into the Jeans, witnesses flinched when he said “Whoops”
Bob is then lifted off the nails (much like pushing an Arrow Through, rather than pulling it out).
Bob gets a ride to the Hospital. Bob has the same crappy insurance all the employees there have. Bob’s Beer Runs are not going to happen for a while.
The After Effects:
Bob’s just now back at the job. He had several weeks off due to 20 Stitches (he won’t confirm all were in his thigh) & ‘Severe Swelling’.
All employees have had to sit through various Safety Training Videos (Their reproduced scenarios are not nearly as effective as Jim’s Cell Phone Video; With Sound!).
Bill made a level & was Promoted.
Sales of Steel Codpieces have skyrocketed.
After all the Rumors and Stories (many exaggerated, some not) I can now do a correct presentation of events leading up to the accident (or the “Why we now get paid to watch a stupid safety video for 2 hours” as other workers now call it).
As the day started, it seemed to Bob (Expert, level 2; Not his real name) to be a normal, regular day. He was scheduled to work on roofing as he always was. He greeted this day like any other, with a curse to make it through as fast as possible so he could stop by the bar before Happy Hour was over. Little did he know he’d be on the receiving end of some narcotics to which not even a Lake Superior amount of Bud-Light could begin to approach.
His Mission:
Secure Wall Studs to the Roof Frame of 6 Pre-Fab Houses.
His Tools:
An Electric Nail Gun with a 100 Nail Capacity & 50’ of Heavy Duty Cord. Several Thousand 5- Inch Ridged Nails (the Ridges allow the Nail to ‘Bite’ into the wood, so they are very hard to pull out). Bill (Expert, level 1; not his real name either), whose job is to go around and Staple Guide Plates over where the Stud Meets the Roof so Bob knows where to fire the Nail Gun. Also around 50’ of Scaffolding to allow access to the Roof Frame.
The Encounter (EL 2):
There is around 70’ of Roofing to be done, leaving nearly 20’ Unscaffolded. Bob, thinking about that refreshing Pitcher of $2 Bud-Light back at the Tavern, realizes that every Round spent at work is 1 less round he can spend drinking. Thus, speed is of the essence. Now, Bob must come up with a Plan. He quickly derides Bill’s idea of Nailing 50’, then dragging the scaffolding the remaining 20’ as too time consuming (plus that scaffolding is bleepin’ heavy). Bob ridicules Bill’s LN Alignment about doing things “The Official Way” and decides to show him what some CG ingenuity can do!
Bob will do 50’ the ‘Right Way’, but will then walk along the roof Beams and finish the last 20’. He quickly realizes that he shouldn’t of taken the Flaw “Lower Back Pain” for implementing any plan involving constantly bending over. Thus, Bob implements Plan B.
For Plan B, Bob will straddle the roof beams and fire the Nail Gun from a sitting position. This goes better, but, alas is slow and awkward. The Swinging Motion he uses with the Gun forces his swing too far and he is unable to get more than 1 Stud before being force to move. Bob then makes an intelligence check. Success! The problem is the Gun is meant to be swung like a hammer, a Central Cylinder with a near 90 degree handle, thus the swinging movement. If Bob were to hold the Central Cylinder in both hands & bring it down at a 90 degree angle, he will be able to get 3 Studs Nailed before needing to move. Bob can taste his beer already.
Then the cruel, cruel, cruel, supposedly benevolent god OSHA rear his ugly head. For the Church of Construction to appease this vengeful deity, all Items must have a ‘Safety Device’ to be activated. In this case, his Gun has a trigger on the handle to be depressed for the Gun to Activate. Bob cannot hold this trigger down while grasping it by the central cylinder. Fortunately, Bob has Ranks in Disable Device. Along with the +2 Equipment Bonus from his Minor Wondrous Item “Duct Tape” he rolls high enough to Bypass the “Safety Device”. Bob is now a Nail Hammering Machine.
Rapid Shot, Multi-Shot, Haste (Material Component, Folgers). Bob is flying along. BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! Move Action. BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM! Move Action. Every 12 Inches, 3 Nails solidly through a 3” Frame & into a Stud. Bob finds it easy to just ready his actions every round, and fantasize about Beer & Hot Wings. Then, as his monotonous grove has gotten him to his second pitcher, a foreboding change occurs. Due to Window Placement, the next Stud is not 12” Away, but 18”, placing the Stud Firmly between his thighs. No Problem, Bob confidently rolls his D20. Darn that 3. Bob Nails his Pants to the Roof Beam. Bob then fails his Will save and is Shaken. The -2 to hit really hurts, as Bob Not only Sends a Nail through his other Pants Leg, but a Good Chunk of his Thigh as Well (1d4 Damage). Bob Screams. A Manly Scream! A scream of Rage Conan would take pride in (although he might not get all of the 4 letter obscenities used).
Bob then drops the Nail Gun (Most of this record comes from Bill. Not the initial record he gave to the other workers, but the one he gave to the Plant Manager later).
The Gun Falls. Bill is unsure whether it was pure gravity, or Bob leaning over, but the Safety Trigger Bypassed Weapon fell, Business end first, to make contact with Bob’s Crotch. Bill Clearly remembers the “Thump” of the Nail gun going off. Bill’s tale of how he believed Bob to be OK, as the Nail was Nearly Flush with the Wood is still the Highest Perform (Horror) check most listeners will ever hear (male listeners, anyway).
Alas, (for Bob). The Nail had indeed pierced his Flesh. Specifically, the Nail impaled his Scrotum, Left Testicle and 4.75” of wood. The good news for Bob he made his Fortitude Save vs Crushing Damage to avoid Testicular Rupture. The bad news was he took another 1d4 damage and effectively Grappled-Pinned to the Roof Frame. Bob also screamed. Not the manly obscenity filled roar of mere moments ago, but rather a single-note piglet squeal of a pitch no member of the Vienna Boys’ Choir, Past, Present, of Future could hope to come within 3 octaves of. This is when the other workers made their Listen Checks (as obscenity-laced screams of pain are rather common, whereas Glass-Breaking Squeals of Terror don’t happen that often) and began to approach.
Bob was Pinned. In Three Places (Pants, Thigh, Testicle). But, Bob knows his d20 Rules. Bob knows that to escape a Grapple is a Full Round Action. Bob takes said Full-Round Action.
Grapple 1: Bob Versus the Nail through his Pants Only. Bob rolls low. Bob Right Pants’ Leg is still firmly Fastened.
Grapple 2: Bob Versus Nail through Pants & Thigh. Bob rolls good. Bob leg jerk rips his thigh muscle off of the nail. Unfortunate, his Denim does not rip, those he is still impaled (This is conjecture based on when Bill made his Spot check to see the massive Red Spot forming on Bob’s Jeans).
Grapple 3: Bob Versus Nail through Pants & Testicle. Nat 1. His attempt to pull the Nail out of the wood via his Scrotum fails horribly. The only result was a +4 Circumstance Bonus to his Perform (Scream like Little Girl) Check.
Note: It will be several more rounds before anybody thinks to make a Heal Check (in this case a DC 10 “CALL 911”). It will then be several more rounds before any other Heal Checks are attempted. These very from the DC 2 “Are you in Pain?” to the DC 15 “Put Pressure on his Leg Wound!”
Several Turns Later, the Experts (level 3, Max Ranks in Heal) show up. Their leader is a CG Paramedic who finds this way more humorous than Bob. He realizes there is very little he can do with Bob Affixed to Wooden Beams 15’ in the Air. He will have to come down. As removing the nails is impossible (Without destroying Bob 1-B) the whole Beam he is fastened to will need to come down. Out comes the Circular Saw. (And some really cool drugs that do like 6d6 Wisdom & render you incapable of feeling any part of your body).
As the medicine takes effect, Bob no longer cares about the shaft of steel through his scrotum. He no longer cares about Beer. He does not notice the Paramedic Cutting his pants off to bandage the massive wound in his thigh. He no longer cares that the Paramedic has gotten a Dremel with the Diamond Disc Bit and is approaching his Crotch.
Yes, in true Mcguyver Fashion, the paramedic uses a Dremel to Saw the Head off the Nails. The Crotch one is tricky, it saws a bit into the Jeans, witnesses flinched when he said “Whoops”
Bob is then lifted off the nails (much like pushing an Arrow Through, rather than pulling it out).
Bob gets a ride to the Hospital. Bob has the same crappy insurance all the employees there have. Bob’s Beer Runs are not going to happen for a while.
The After Effects:
Bob’s just now back at the job. He had several weeks off due to 20 Stitches (he won’t confirm all were in his thigh) & ‘Severe Swelling’.
All employees have had to sit through various Safety Training Videos (Their reproduced scenarios are not nearly as effective as Jim’s Cell Phone Video; With Sound!).
Bill made a level & was Promoted.
Sales of Steel Codpieces have skyrocketed.
Last edited:
KrazyHades
First Post
The thread title is a real eyecatcher!
This deserves to be stickied...such is my prayer to the moderators
This deserves to be stickied...such is my prayer to the moderators
Rel said:
Please make changes, even with all my experience with nail guns (good and bad) I would rather not remember this one.
Something else
Hay, VD, are you sure about the 4" nails and the "electric nail guns"
Most nail guns are air powered and 16d (3 1/8") is about the longest nail most will drive? (course prefab seems to have its own little world).
Vraille Darkfang
First Post
Harmon said:
I keep getting mixed messages as to Air vs Electric. I know it has a Cord.
Most of the Construction is done in a Warehouse, then shipped on site; so they have plenty of outlets and stuff that On-Site Construction doesn't have.
Most of the time they only have to fire through 2" of Wood; but sometimes they have to put 2 layers of boards on the roof; thus 4".
So, they might have a Special Gun just for when they do these special extra-reinforced jobs.
Everyone there has seen the proof.
Almost everyone has a Cellphone with a Camera these days.
Maybe I could post some pics
![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
Or maybe not
Vraille Darkfang said:
Emm- really? Okay. I will have to check into that, electric would be so much quieter and so much nicer to use (not as heavy).
Vraille Darkfang said:
Outside construction is done with either generators or you can get electricity run to the job by the power company, or ask a neighbor (residental, not businesses) "mind if I pay your electric bill for a little while?"
Power is run to "10 Power Boxes" where you plug in and get as much as 220V
Vraille Darkfang said:
Emm- not sure of the method but most plywood (up to 5/8" thickness) can be put down with nails 2 1/8" long. Or perhaps you mean rafters, which are toe nailed (45 degree) with nails 3 1/8" to the top plate. The thickness of construction material is off by a bit- a 2 by 4 is actually 1 1/2" by 3 1/2" which is the norm for most materials
Vraille Darkfang said:So, they might have a Special Gun just for when they do these special extra-reinforced jobs.
Everyone there has seen the proof.
Almost everyone has a Cellphone with a Camera these days.
Maybe I could post some pics
Or maybe not
Its cool, I have never heard of a few things you mentioned and had questions, need not go further.
Thanks for the story, it was something I will remember the next time I am working (if every again) in construction (hopefully not, ever again).
Take care, and peace
Vraille Darkfang
First Post
Harmon said:
Sorry,
Misspoke (or typed). By Cord I meant a Tube of Thick Plastic, which may hold insulated wire for Electricity of be hollow for compressed Air. (Thus why I've been getting mixed answers).
Yes, I'm talking about 2x4 Roof Joists & not Plywood. And the special Nail gun doesn't aways put the nail all the way through. The second Man's job is to not only put down Metal Guide Plates ahead of the Nail Gunner, but Go behind him and Hammer the nail the rest of the way in.
Last edited:
