LightPhoenix
First Post
For all that mitigating factors weren't supposed to be included, I'm not really sure you can divorce the way people feel about receiving help from the way people offer help. The former greatly colors the latter, IMO.
For all that, I voted "yes."
First of all, I'm the kind of person that will ask for help when it is needed. If it's a minor thing (ie, picking up papers I dropped, letting me know my bookbag is open, holding open a door, etc.), I don't mind unsolicited help. However, if I'm working on a project, especially one that is semi-personal, like creating a PC, I'd rather do it myself. As such, generally I will not give unsolicited help, except for things I find trivial. If I see someone struggling, I will certainly ask if they need help, but if the answer is no, I respect that answer.
Secondly, I don't really believe politeness is a distinction to make. Being nice about something unsolicited seems to me to be as condescending... as if you are trying to goad someone into asking for help. At best, it's very tiresome. Also, I find it very passive-aggressive to talk about what you would do as a way of masking your true intent (as an example above). You're not talking about yourself, you're trying to tell them what to do - that's a big difference.
Finally, unsolicited advice is overall somewhat condecending. It's based on the assumption that someone doesn't know what they are doing. Simply by giving it, even by asking, you are making that assumption. Whether it is correct or not doesn't particularly matter. At least with the asking, you don't force your opinions on someone else.
For all that, I voted "yes."
First of all, I'm the kind of person that will ask for help when it is needed. If it's a minor thing (ie, picking up papers I dropped, letting me know my bookbag is open, holding open a door, etc.), I don't mind unsolicited help. However, if I'm working on a project, especially one that is semi-personal, like creating a PC, I'd rather do it myself. As such, generally I will not give unsolicited help, except for things I find trivial. If I see someone struggling, I will certainly ask if they need help, but if the answer is no, I respect that answer.
Secondly, I don't really believe politeness is a distinction to make. Being nice about something unsolicited seems to me to be as condescending... as if you are trying to goad someone into asking for help. At best, it's very tiresome. Also, I find it very passive-aggressive to talk about what you would do as a way of masking your true intent (as an example above). You're not talking about yourself, you're trying to tell them what to do - that's a big difference.
Finally, unsolicited advice is overall somewhat condecending. It's based on the assumption that someone doesn't know what they are doing. Simply by giving it, even by asking, you are making that assumption. Whether it is correct or not doesn't particularly matter. At least with the asking, you don't force your opinions on someone else.
