Is it rude to offer other players unsolicited optimization advice?

[AdmundfortGeographer]

I'm rather suspicious at the question, it seems far too knowingly innocent, so I played along and voted "no". However in almost all cases applied in the real world, I believe I would look at it as "yes".

Unsolicited advice... it's almost always rude. If I see someone that I think could benefit from my help I first ask if they would like assistance before launching into corrective suggestions. It's good manners to ask first. If more people placed good manners above offering unsolicited advice the world would be a better place.

 

[Sejs]

In and of itself, no. Not rude.

It's all in the delivery, really. That's where the offence might come from.

 

[reanjr]

If the game is RP heavy then it is rude. If it's Combat heavy, it's not.

 

[kibbitz]

Well, I'm for "No", but as with all things people-related, you really need to use your own personal judgement as to whether the person you're advising is okay to you doing so. There are times where you really, really shouldn't do this. No matter how inane the current set of actions or current setup is.

Friend of mine actually got screamed at by his other half when he was offering his unsolicited opinion of how she should use her party better in Super Hero League of Hoboken. He wasn't rude or condescending in the slightest IMO, but she got extremely annoyed and screamed about how he should leave her to play the way she want. Guess it didn't help that it was a TPK. I was in the room. The uneasy silence after that... I sure hope I won't need to experience it again...

 

[IcyCool]

Yes, in fact I think there is a moral requirement to correct someone if they have misquoted a rule or suchlike.

Yeah, especially if it's the GM. You need to step up and show them who's boss. After all, you're the one running the ... oh, wait.

Sometimes unsolicited advice is rude. And repeatedly doing it after you've been asked to stop can be seen as arguementative.

Sometimes unsolicited advice will be taken well. It's sort of a crapshoot.

You could always preface your advice with, "Well, if you want my opinion..." That way, they can interrupt you and say "No" if they don't want it.

 

[Crothian]

If the game is RP heavy then it is rude. If it's Combat heavy, it's not.

Why does that matter?

 

[DonTadow]

Well, is it?

I am intentionally cutting out ambiguity and many relevant factors in the poll. I know that. . Surely offering advice on any issue could be rude in certain situations. My question is more about gaming than social skills.

Some folks are offended by questioning the GM, even if she's "wrong" (see the whole rules lawyer" argument. Some folks are offended by optimizing PCs are all (see "munchkin" argument.) In your opinion, are people who offer to help others optimize doing something questionable? Is it only kosher if it's requested? What if someone has said something patently wrong? Is it appropriate to correct it? Is it acceptable only if the player is new to the game? Only if they haven't expressed a preference not

So: is helping others optimize okay?

In my games YUP. If the DM isn't the one offering the advice then there isn't any reason anyone should be building some one elses character. This often happens to new players and really makes me sick to the point where i've booted players for it. Some people enjoy trying to squeeze the last ability point from a pool, others don't. I'm in the later class. I'd rather see my players build temendous characters than powerful ones.

 

[Rhuvein]

Well, generally it does "depend" and I've seen that word mentioned a lot. So . . . assuming a good group dynamic and PCs working together, it seems like it's not necessarily rude. Of course, another side question is, how did the GM set the game tone with regard to PC interaction?

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

I find it interesting that the huge majority of responders in the thread, regardless of whether they say yes or no, qualify the response by saying that it really depends, generally on the tact of the offerer or the circumstances of the moment and not the mere offer of advice in and of itself.

We have now WELL established that the WAY in which you offer "advice" can be done rudely, and it did not need a poll to make that clear. The OP has indicated that his intent was to determine if the offer of advice in and of itself is rude, not whether such an offer can be made in a rude manner. I would seriously propose that this thread be ended and a NEW poll put up that clarifies things:

Assuming the offer is otherwise made in a respectful and polite manner is it rude in and of itself to offer advice to another player about optimization?

I say no it is not rude to simply offer optimization advice. It is in fact rude to take offense at an otherwise polite, well-intentioned offer of advice. The appropriate response if the advice is not needed or desired is, "Thank you for your suggestion but I prefer to make these decisions entirely on my own without interference." The appropriate response in turn is to say, "I don't have a problem with that. Since it is your character you may do as you wish. I shall reserve my commentary and suggestion."

 

[airwalkrr]

I'd merely like to say that I didn't vote because there was no "maybe" or "it depends" option. The fact of the matter is unsolicited optimization advice is not welcome when I am the player being offered advice. I know how to optimize my characters thank you very much and I do not need anyone telling me how I could make a better character. Fact of the matter is I usually choose to give my characters a "human element," a weakness so that they are a bit more interesting to play. I don't enjoy playing in campaigns where the characters are not expected to have any weaknesses. Superman would be a boring comic strip if kryptonite weren't around. "Oh look, Superman wins without a challenge again."

However, I know a lot of new players who don't know much about the game and welcome character optimization advice with open arms. I never offer it unless asked in case the player is like me, intentionally building weaknesses into his character. However, sometimes I do ask if the player would appreciate advice. Newer players often do. With veteran players I rarely bother.