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Pogre's New Story Hour with Mini pics - (12/7 The Final Update)

pogre

Legend
Episode 33
Strange Friend

The adventurers decided to track the strange beastmen who had escaped from their earlier battles. The path took them past some local villages wherein they discovered numerous raids had occurred. Several children and young adults had been abducted and no one had a clue why.

The beastmen’s trail eventually led to a cave complex where the remnants of the beastmen laired. The party quickly moved through the caverns and slaughtered the remaining beastmen. The adventurers also found a chamber of mutated children who were quite insane. The children were destroyed, as no semblance of their humanity remained.

They came to a final chamber with a strange stone guarded by a chaos beast. The chaos beast was defeated and the stone was destroyed, however, the stone had rather unfortunate side effects on Quarion and Gjord. Gjord grew a pair of small horns, and goat-like limbs had replaced Quarion’s legs. All agreed that these conditions were sure to be frowned upon by the Messenger’s Inquisition.

Discreet inquiries in Derlon led the party to the laboratory of one Luka AlQueme the Magnificent. Here then, we pick up our story –

“How much?” Gjord really was not in the mood for bargaining. Gerhardt’s jokes about his horns had gotten old in two seconds and this was five days after the event.

“You have disturbed important research my friends,” Luka began, “that alone should be worth something.”



“Can you fix their condition?” Hilde asked.

“Madame, I am Luka AlQueme the Magnificent! Of course I can cure them!”

“How much?” Gjord’s voice had a resignation in it that signaled the outdoorsman’s fatigue with the condition.

“For you my friends, the Great Luka AlQueme will perform this wonder for a mere favor.”

Gerhardt stood up from his perch, “What kind of favor?”

“It will not be your debt,” Gjord stated flatly.

“Uh huh, I know how that goes. I always get dragged into these things,” Gerhardt replied.

“This favor will bring profit to you my friends. Such is the generosity of the Magnificent Luka AlQueme!”

“We agree,” Hilde answered.

“Excellent!” Luka rubbed his hands in slow circles. “I will get straight to work formulating a curative.”

“How long will this take?” Quarion asked.

“No more than five days I should think,” Luka replied.

“Well, have fun fellows. I’m off to find some needy women with loose morals,” Gerhardt pulled the door. “Hilde let me know when we are ready to roll, but only if this favor does actually seem profitable.”

……

“Are you absolutely sure Inga?” Hilde asked.

“Yes sister. It has been on my mind a lot. It is time I moved on.”

The women shed tears and embraced in the Temple of Opheria.

“Will you seek out Skully?” Hilde asked.

“I may try,” Inga admitted. “My clan needs to see what true violence appears as. Perhaps he and I can hunt a Narwhal together or a great white bear.”

“If you see him, tell him I have something for him.”

“I could take it to him,” Inga offered.

“Hmmm, no, I think his heart must be moved enough for him to come south and retrieve it himself,” Hilde replied.

“Then he will never gain it.”

“Perhaps,” Hilde agreed. Hilde pulled her holy symbol of Opheria from her neck and placed it in the barbarian woman’s hand. “I want you to have this.”

The women embraced again and Inga left.

…..

“What about the elves?” Gerhardt asked.

“You mean Ranin and E’lisar?” Quarion asked.

“No, I mean you ears,” Gerhardt replied sarcastically, “Yeah, those two. Where in the Void are they?”

“They left,” Quarion replied.

“For good?” Gerhardt asked.

“No, they will return. They are on the Hunt of the Titans.”

“Alright, I know I am going to regret this: What is that?” Gerhardt asked.

“The Rain Walker, Titus the Elder is revered by many of my race. They believe their deceased elven ancestors now live in a great hall with him. Those who venerate their ancestors are called Titans, children of Titus. The Hunt symbolizes their gathering food for their ancestors and Titus to feast upon. In exchange, The Rain Walker brings his bounty to the living who are reverent.”

“It’s a dumb pointy-ear religious ceremony would have sufficed,” Gerhardt quipped. “How long does this nonsense go on for?”

“It depends. Sometimes a month sometimes two months.”

“I may need them before that! When are folks going to realize that the main purpose of faith and religion is to provide healing. Especially healing for me!” Gerhardt roared.

Quarion just chuckled and shook his head while the fighter drank deeply from his cup.

“Hey,” Gerhardt exclaimed in sudden recognition, “Why aren’t you on this tree-lover hunt thing?”

“I guess I’m not all that religious. I’m not a Titan.”

“Damn right!” Gerhardt put his arm around Quarion. His breath almost bowled the rogue over, “We may not have Inga or the elves, but we got Quarion! If ye’ let me shave these ears you might even be a regular bloke.”

“No more mutilation for me. I’m just glad to have my legs back,” Quarion said.

“Oh, right,” Gerhardt replied. “Did it hurt?”

“No, not at all,” Quarion stated.

“Where’s Gjord?” Gerhardt asked.

“Right behind you, you drunken pig,” Gjord answered.

“Ah, so your are!” Gerhardt exclaimed craning his neck around. “I see you must have met one of my ladies.”

“Don’t say it,” Gjord said in a low warning voice.

“Because you look considerably less horny!” Gerhardt finished, laughing loudly.

Gjord smiled and jumped on Gerhardt’s back pulling him to the ground. The men were immediately engaged in a wrestling match that sent tables and chairs flying. The barkeep rushed over and started hitting both of them with a sweep. The grappling continued apace with patrons giving the men a wide berth.

“Stop!” a female voice rang out across the tavern. Both men hesitated and looked up. It was Hilde. “We have a meeting. Let’s go.”

Gerhardt and Gjord straightened their clothes and gave each other a smile.

The barkeep chattered at them endlessly about damages until Quarion gave him two platinum pieces and told him to shut up.

…..

“You don’t waste any time calling in favors do you?” Gjord queried.

“Indeed,” Luka replied. “When opportunities knock, the Magnificent Luke AlQueme is there to answer.”

“Yeah, whatever, what’s the gig?” Gerhardt asked.

“I have uncovered the possible location of a lost alchemical lab of the Green Cloak Mage. As you undoubtedly know, the Green Cloak Mage wrote three major treatises on alchemy.” Luka pulled out a piece of parchment.

“I have heard of him, but know of only two of the tomes,” Hilde replied.

“Indeed!” Luka smiled, “that is because the third has never been found. I believe I may have uncovered the Green Cloak Mage’s Alchemical lab location.”

“When do we have to go?” Gjord asked.

“We will leave tomorrow morning,” Luka answered.

“You’re going?” Gerhardt asked.

“Indeed! I would not leave you to the wilderness without the great skills of the Magnificent Luka AlQueme!”

“Well, hell I feel better already,” Gerhardt quipped. “I might even just leave my armor at home.”

“We will meet you here tomorrow morning Luka AlQueme the Magnificent,” Hilde stated.

“Excellent!” Luka exclaimed.

…..

“I do not like this,” Gjord complained.

“Would you rather have your horns back?” Hilde asked.

“No, of course not, but he could at least tell us where we are going,” Gjord said.

“I am not sure he knows,” Quarion added.

Gerhardt made an effort to keep pace with the strange mage. “Do you make love potions?” Gerhardt asked.

“Of course, the Magnificent Luka AlQueme crafts the greatest love potions in the world!”

“How much?” Gerhardt asked.

“It depends,” Luka slowed momentarily as though contemplating the price, “How madly do you want this woman to fall in love with you?”

“Enough to jump in bed,” Gerhardt answered.

“Depending on the woman I would say that would cost around 35 gold,” Luka answered.

“That won’t work,” Gerhardt commented.

“What won’t work my friend?” Luka raised his eyebrows in high arches.

“Your price,” Gerhardt spat on the rocky ground. “Whores are cheaper.”

Luka laughed in response.

…..

The group trudged on across the rocky wastes grumbling about the pace, the direction, and anything else they could gripe about. Yet, Luka never hesitated he drove on as though following a line on the earth. Soon the grumbles melted to resigned silence as most concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other.

Quarion, however, was still alert. “What is that noise?” He looked to the sky and yelled a warning to the rest of the group.



to be continued…
 
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Wulf Ratbane

Adventurer
Cool fig-- I think I still have one of those unpainted. Mine has a scorpion tail. I see you opted for the stylish "Lord of the Flies" pig-head.

I miss the old days of Citadel when you could get a figure in a bazillion combinations, and guarantee that at least half of them were satanic, perverted, or both.

So Inga's gone? Man, with all the comings and goings of characters, not to mention the snooty women, you'd think Robert Jordan was writing this story hour.

Wulf
 

hwoolsey

First Post
Hey now!

Wulf Ratbane said:
So Inga's gone? Man, with all the comings and goings of characters, not to mention the snooty women, you'd think Robert Jordan was writing this story hour.

Wulf

That's not completely fair - our adventures actually contain resolution. :cool:

Hank (Gerhard in Pogre's New Story Hour)
 

pogre

Legend
Episode 34
It’s What You Don’t See…

“Spread out!” Luka cried out.

The group fanned out, but the warning came a little to late as the beast breathed a line of acid catching three of the stalwart adventurers. Gjord, who was hit by the acid, braced himself as the chimera charged down upon him.



The monster unleashed a multi-faceted attack that nearly put Gjord down. Bravely the ranger stood his ground and fought back. Long sword steel cut deeply into the chimera’s torso. The enraged beast roared in pain with a sound so loud it echoed through the area and reverberated in everyone’s chest.

Gerhardt and Quarion rapidly came to Gjord’s aid. Gerhardt endured a slashing claw attack from the beast to obtain a rear flanking position. Quarion directed his blades into the lion-like beast with a surgeon’s precision.



“The Magnificent Luka AlQueme shall cast Scorching Ray!” Fire shot from the mage’s fingertips. Unfortunately, his aim was high and the beast was unaffected.

Gjord suffered another round of attacks from the Chimera and was very nearly done in. The ranger stood tall and delivered though. He unleashed two key strikes to the animal, causing it to howl in renewed pain. Gerhardt added to its misery with a well-placed swing. The Chimera had decided that was enough and began to take off. Gerhardt and Luka hit the beast with arrows as it took flight. Gerhardt kept pulling on his bow and launching arrows at the beast as it flew on into the sky. Incredibly, one of the arrows hit the chimera at a range of over 400 feet. It was not enough though, and the Chimera got away.

Gerhardt threw his bow onto the ground. “Damn, you know we’re going to see him again.”

“I don’t know, he took some heavy damage,” Gjord countered.

“That will just make him smarter next time,” Gerhardt mused.

“Let’s move on,” Luka stated.

“Hold on,” Gjord replied, “I am just this side of sausage meat. How about some help here sister?”

“Gjord, I would be happy to help,” Hilde chanted a couple of supplications over the ranger divinely curing his wounds.

“Hey AlQueme, how about shooting some big stuff off next time one of us is getting chewed up?” Gerhardt asked.

“Oh you are addressing me?” Luka asked. “You have a question for Luka AlQueme the magnificent?”

“That’s another thing,” Gerhardt began, “Maybe if you quit announcing everything you would get more done.”

“Naturally, Luka AlQueme the magnificent cannot expect a simpleton to understand the complexities of arcane secrets and mechanics.”

“You’re the idiot,” Gerhardt retorted, sensing he had been insulted. “I thought you might have some real fire power, but you’re a punk.”

“The Magnificent Luka Alqueme analyzed the situation and realized what was necessary to drive the beast off. Luka AlQueme the magnificent never wastes arcane powers on things that can be accomplished through menial means.”

“Yeah, whatever, ya’ blowhard punk,” Gerhardt quipped.

“Gerhardt, just shut up,” Gjord spoke up. “Let’s just follow the man and get this overwith.”

“Indeed! Let us journey on into the wilderness,” Luka agreed.

…..

Five days traveling through the wilderness the party finally reached a mound with some ruins scattered atop it.



“Here,” Luka AlQueme spoke in a low deep whisper. “This is it!”

“It’s just ruins,” Gerhardt complained.

“The alchemical lab must be below,” Luka offered.

“Or destroyed over the ages,” Hilde offered.

“I do not think so,” Luka replied.

“Hey,” Gjord announced, “He did not refer to himself as the magnificent.”

Luka smiled.

“I will go scout for traps,” Quarion offered.

“Be very careful,” Luka warned, “This is the former lair of a great wizard. Consequences for a misstep will be dire my friend.”

Quarion snuck up the hillside and started to turn and tell his comrades something. Suddenly an invisible force slammed into the elven rogue, his nose immediately began bleeding. “Something is attacking me!” Quarion cried out.



to be continued...
 
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hwoolsey

First Post
Hairy Minotaur said:
Great shot! :)

Thank you - a longbow's a wonderful thing. And I just upgraded to a composite and got that extra little bit of range increment. ;)

Hank (Gerhard in Pogre's New Story Hour)
 

MysticMayham

First Post
So with the elves temperedly away Gerhardt reverts to fighting like the

better fighters by taken to using the bow. I bet he even told old Quarion

not to let the other Elves know. He is just embarrassed to admit he is a

closet elf lover. Great up date Proge can't wait to find out what

happens next.
 

hwoolsey

First Post
MysticMayham said:
So with the elves temperedly away Gerhardt reverts to fighting like the

better fighters by taken to using the bow.

I would agree here, if only any of our elves had ever made shots like that. Hopefully they'll take this example for the lesson it should be :D .

Hank (Gerhard in Pogre's New Story Hour)
 

hwoolsey said:
I would agree here, if only any of our elves had ever made shots like that. Hopefully they'll take this example for the lesson it should be :D .

Hank (Gerhard in Pogre's New Story Hour)

Probably not, elves are only good roasted over hickory. :D

The real trick is teaching them how to use a two-handed weapon. Ever see an elf use a bastard sword? :D
 

hwoolsey

First Post
Hairy Minotaur said:
Probably not, elves are only good roasted over hickory. :D

Mmmmmm! Elf! <wipes chin and returns to thread>

Hairy Minotaur said:
The real trick is teaching them how to use a two-handed weapon. Ever see an elf use a bastard sword? :D

Yeah - it raises the question of which end is swinging the other. ;)

Hank (Gerhard in Pogre's New Story Hour)
 

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