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S1: The Strange Case of Aif Jenkins' Farm (E13 judge) - Concluded
- Thread starter Manzanita
- Start date
SlagMortar
First Post
OOC: Aw, come on. It bears a little connection to reality. Just replace "started asking funny questions" with "started attacking the warehouse" 
The rest is all true, more or less.
The rest is all true, more or less. 
Manzanita
First Post
Toler and Rafferty both seem interested. "So the city rulers in Gotian were killed? By who?" asks Toler.
"Probably deserved it." says Reinert, now on his fourth mug of wine. "Probably interfering in merchant bid'ness. Someone always wants to take a cut from a hard-working merchant. Hey - you want to hear a joke?"
"Probably deserved it." says Reinert, now on his fourth mug of wine. "Probably interfering in merchant bid'ness. Someone always wants to take a cut from a hard-working merchant. Hey - you want to hear a joke?"
SlagMortar
First Post
"Gotian was run by a Council of merchants, not hardworking ones like Reinert here either. These guys in Gotian were fat and stinking of old money. One of them and Idrag, the captain of the guard, organized a coup and killed the entire rest of the Council. We beat it as fast as possible, but word was that Idrag will be tightening the city up like a drum and probably shaking down all the little guys, and I don't mean little like me, that he can get his hands on.
"Always happy to hear a joke," finishes Beamer with a smile.
"Always happy to hear a joke," finishes Beamer with a smile.
Manzanita
First Post
OK. Here's the joke rules. If anyone laughs outloud at a joke(player, judge, DM or innocent bystander), or is otherwise signicantly amused, the PC who tells the joke will be awarded 25 XPs per laugher. Of course that means if an NPC tells a joke who makes someone laugh, the judge is duty-bound to award the DM .25 DM credits 
"Well, remind me to stay away from Gotian, Lothar." says Toler, elbowing his maimed and silent friend.
"Right, well, listen." says Reinert.
"Once there was this boy who had a wooden eye. This poor boy had been hit in the eye with a goblin arrow the year before, and had lost his eye. This village was too small to have a proper healer, so the eye had just been removed, and the boy's father had carved a pretty wooden eye that he could wear to make it look better. He'd painted it white and blue to match his good eye. Still, the eye was awkward and this made him shy, and he never would talk to any of the girls in the village. Well, on the autumnal equinox, the village had an annual harvest festival. This year, when he was 17, his friends convinced him to stick around for the dancing after dinner. He was too shy to ask any of the girls to dance, until he noticed one particular girl. She had been born with a hair lip, and had recently moved to the village.
So the boy figured maybe this girl would dance with him, so he nervously approached her and said "Would you care to have a dance with me?" A broad smile spread across her face. "Would I? Would I?" she said.
"Hair lip, hair lip!" the boy shouted back.
Reinert thumps the table loudly and brays with laughter.
"Well, remind me to stay away from Gotian, Lothar." says Toler, elbowing his maimed and silent friend.
"Right, well, listen." says Reinert.
"Once there was this boy who had a wooden eye. This poor boy had been hit in the eye with a goblin arrow the year before, and had lost his eye. This village was too small to have a proper healer, so the eye had just been removed, and the boy's father had carved a pretty wooden eye that he could wear to make it look better. He'd painted it white and blue to match his good eye. Still, the eye was awkward and this made him shy, and he never would talk to any of the girls in the village. Well, on the autumnal equinox, the village had an annual harvest festival. This year, when he was 17, his friends convinced him to stick around for the dancing after dinner. He was too shy to ask any of the girls to dance, until he noticed one particular girl. She had been born with a hair lip, and had recently moved to the village.
So the boy figured maybe this girl would dance with him, so he nervously approached her and said "Would you care to have a dance with me?" A broad smile spread across her face. "Would I? Would I?" she said.
"Hair lip, hair lip!" the boy shouted back.
Reinert thumps the table loudly and brays with laughter.
Patlin
Explorer
Banion tries a joke, though his delivery is a bit deadpan.
"Three scouts got cut off from their unit by a band of goblin archers, and the only way back passed within clear view of the goblins. The first scout came up with a plan, declaring that goblins are a cowardly lot. He ran staight toward the goblins, yelling 'Dragon!' at the top of his lungs. The goblins dove for cover, ignoring the scout, and he got safely past."
"The second scout, seeing the first scout succeed, gave it a try himself. 'We better not try the trick exactly the same way twice.' He told his fellow, and when he charged out he yelled 'Tornado!' and all the goblins scattered for cover. He too got safely past."
"The third scout was now ready to give it a try. Running pell-mell towards the goblins, he yelled 'Fire!'"
"Three scouts got cut off from their unit by a band of goblin archers, and the only way back passed within clear view of the goblins. The first scout came up with a plan, declaring that goblins are a cowardly lot. He ran staight toward the goblins, yelling 'Dragon!' at the top of his lungs. The goblins dove for cover, ignoring the scout, and he got safely past."
"The second scout, seeing the first scout succeed, gave it a try himself. 'We better not try the trick exactly the same way twice.' He told his fellow, and when he charged out he yelled 'Tornado!' and all the goblins scattered for cover. He too got safely past."
"The third scout was now ready to give it a try. Running pell-mell towards the goblins, he yelled 'Fire!'"
SlagMortar
First Post
Beamer gives a chuckle at Reinert's joke and a full laugh at Banion's, figuring the latter could always use a boost of confidence.
SlagMortar
First Post
Beamer is mostly keeping an ear open to Juliana and Boog's conversation, but quickly chimes in with his own Banion's has a chance to since in.
"A paladin and his mount walk into a tavern. The innkeep asks, 'Why the long face?'"
If that doesn't go over, Beamer continues, "Because I'm a freakin' paladin. We never have any fun."
"A paladin and his mount walk into a tavern. The innkeep asks, 'Why the long face?'"
If that doesn't go over, Beamer continues, "Because I'm a freakin' paladin. We never have any fun."
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