So, how's this for publicity?

[Darraketh]

A search for "D&D Airships" in Google will yield, at the top of the list:

EN World - Daemonforge Main Page
... a fiendish stronghold, deal with pirates in their airships or on the great seas,
or simply transplant a published D&D adventure into this world, you will find ...
www.d20reviews.com/Daemonforge/dfmain.htm - 24k - Cached - Similar pages


Cool! no?

 

[Warchild]

Hey, that Intro is pretty cool. Made me go and watch Conan!

 

[Viking Bastard]

Hey here is what I'm thinking about for Daemonforge Flash intro v. 2.01:

Text --- Welcome to the Broken Lands

Text --- A place of Despair

[ zoom into a map of the daemonforge setting ]

Text --- A place in ruins

Text --- Devastaded by war

Text --- Infested by evil

[ scroll an image of some battlefield/battle/army across the screen, has to look evil enough ]

Text --- The gods are dead

Text --- The mortal races beaten

Text --- The last people seeking refuge

Text --- In vast mountain strongholds

[ some vast mountain strongholds ]

Text --- Yet...

Text --- Hope remains

[ an image of heroes/adventurers/PCs/y'know/thingy ]

[ Daemonforge smashes into the screen with appropriate sound effects ]

[ a glowing d20 logo slowly appears, followed by a 'Click to Enter' link to the main page ]

.

eh? thoughts? thingies?

 

[Leopold]

Hey here is what I'm thinking about for Daemonforge Flash intro v. 2.01:

Text --- Welcome to the Broken Lands

EDIT: Text --- A land of Despair

[ zoom into a map of the daemonforge setting ]

EDIT: Text --- A land in ruins

EDIT:Text --- Devastaded by war and strife

Text --- Infested by evil

[ scroll an image of some battlefield/battle/army across the screen, has to look evil enough ]

Text --- The gods are dead

Text --- The mortal races beaten

Text --- The last people seeking refuge

Text --- In vast mountain strongholds

[ some vast mountain strongholds ]

[[picture of the alps here? perhaps a picture of Hitlers mountatin stronghold? I know that's out there]]

Text --- Yet...

Text --- Hope remains

[ an image of heroes/adventurers/PCs/y'know/thingy ]

[[Any pic you can find on the net will do for this]]

[ Daemonforge smashes into the screen with appropriate sound effects ]

[ a glowing d20 logo slowly appears, followed by a 'Click to Enter' link to the main page ]
[[Perhaps a pulsing D20 logo??]]
.

eh? thoughts? thingies?

Timing is the key for this puppy. Those are the changes I would make to it. remove all instances of place and replace with land. It's a realm or world we can use either of those 2 words as well. Place makes it seem like a city, this is much larger than that.

 

[Darraketh]

Here's my submission.

The Broken Lands

[zoom into a map of the Daemonforge setting]

Despair

Ruin

Devastated by evil

[scrolls an image of some battlefield/battle/army across the screen, has to look evil enough]

The gods are dead…

mortal races beaten.

Yet...

Hope remains

[Pan up to some vast mountain strongholds]

Refuge

The last of the mortal races…

[An image of heroes/adventurers/PCs/y'know/thingy]

are on a quest for survival.

[Daemonforge smashes into the screen with appropriate sound effects]

[A glowing d20 logo slowly appears, followed by a 'Click to Enter' link to the main page]
**********************************

1. That last line may need something better.

2. As I said before using the word "Welcome" doesn't seem to lend itself to something gritty so I dropped it.

3. I like the impact of a single word, "Despair," "Ruin." The mind will conjure up the worst and fill in the blanks.

4. If we go with "Devastated by evil" then show a battle field image most people will assume there was a war. No need to spell it out.

5. I've changed the order of ending by saying that there is "hope" then hinting that it is the strongholds by putting the image next. I think panning up a mountain to a stronghold gives it more impact.

6. Again one word "Refuge" and the mind will draw it's own conclusions and put two and two together.

7. Now the line: "The last of the mortal races… are on a quest for survival." is to let eveyone know that it isn't over. Some alternatives to this last part may be:

"are locked in a struggle for survival."
or simply
"struggle to survive."

Well that's my 2 copper pieces.

 

[Darraketh]

I've thought about this script a little bit more and I am now in favor of flipping "Despair" in line two for "Ruin" in line three for more of a play on cause and effect.

Example:
-----------------------------------------------------------
The Broken Lands

[zoom into a map of the Daemonforge setting]

Ruin

Despair

Devastated by evil
-----------------------------------------------------------

Please feel free to comment on anything I post. Good, Bad, Indifferent.

 

[Darraketh]

Damn... Now I want to leave it "Ruin," "Despair."

Maybe it rolls off the tounge better.