Suggest an appropriate reply!

[Man in the Funny Hat]

Sir,

I am Morrus, a subject of the United Kingdom. My late partner was the chairman of British National Diamond & Gold Corporation. My partner was killed along with my three dogs in our Manchester residence while I was out. They were assassinated by rebels led by Charles, Prince of Wales on 18/06/98. Because my family never supported the way Charles and his splinter group attempted to overthrow our legitimate Prime Minister, Tony Blair and restore the Monarchy to power.

After the assassination of my partner and three dogs, when the NATO Peace Keeping Forces soldiers were in control of my village Saddleworth, I left my hide-out in my village. When I was searching for some information in our family villa, I found the key to my late partner's underground strong room, I discovered one metallic box containing twenty eight million US Dollars (US $28,000,000.00)

Meanwhile, I made an arrangement with a fisherman that operates a fishing trawler boat who smuggled me along with the box that contained the money through West England coast waters to Vik, Iceland, where I invested the money into an internet forum.

Now, I have decided to look for a trustworthy and reliable foreign partner who will assist me by using his connections to transfer this internet forum for investment in his country. I suggest offering you (20%) of the total value if you will assist me to have this transaction done.

(1) To help me used your bank connections (Company or personal) to transfer this forum for investment in your country. (2) Provide a lucrative business where this forum will be wisely managed and developed. (3) To help me to secure a permanent residence permit as I would love to spend the rest of my life doing business overseas.

It is advisable that you will come to Iceland to meet me in person to enable us know one another and thereafter, sign a written agreement that will improve the basis of mutual trust. Every other information needed will be given to you on request.

Note that your urgent assistance is needed to facilitate this transaction. For confidential purpose, you should handle this transaction with utmost secrecy. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. For more information contact my benefactor, Mr Eric Noah on the above Tel/Fax number. Thanks for your prompt co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Morrus

Except that this would be UTTERLY unbelievable. Not enough is misspelled, nor enough improper grammar. Clearly an improperly formatted response by a total fake.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Here's an inappropriate response: after expressing interest, send a contact phone number that goes to someone's sex hotline. Or the cops.








(The things you do learn, trying to pick up women in bars.)

 

[Scott DeWar]

Try:
"Oh go bugger off!"
"You can't afford me"
"I know who you are! you are that rich Nigerian minister of finance! don't deny it!"
"Your are an alien! I am going to report you to M I 8 !"
" I know who you are, you are the Canadian Prime minister! you couldn't overtake the United States, so you are trying to get a foot hold in Great Britain! Admit it!! (wankers)"

 

[Umbran]

Dear Mr. Hovsepian,

I am sorry, but EN World is not for sale. Rulership of the site is determined not by purchase, but by right of challenge. If you submit a fee of $100,000 (to cover equipment, live streaming of the event to the current board members worldwide, and medical/life insurance for the contest), and you can beat the current site owner (me) at Dungeons and Dragons, you may govern the site as your own.

-The Management

 

[Scott DeWar]

Now that one has merit!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Dear Mr. Hovsepian,

I am sorry, but EN World is not for sale. Rulership of the site is determined not by purchase, but by right of challenge. If you submit a fee of $100,000 (to cover equipment, live streaming of the event to the current board members worldwide, and medical/life insurance for the contest), and you can beat the current site owner (me) at Dungeons and Dragons, you may govern the site as your own.

-The Management

I like, but dice can be cruel- it might not end well.
[video=youtube;uFFqCIeuGE8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFFqCIeuGE8&sns=em[/video]

 

[Eltab]

I am sorry, but EN World is not for sale. Rulership of the site is determined not by purchase, but by right of challenge.

Bring along an Assassin/Wizard friend who can use a Wand of Fireball from hiding.

 

[Mark CMG]

£1 per word.

 

[Jester David]

"I will gladly exchange ownership of the site in exchange for $1, a pony ride, and tapes of the lost Hartnell and Troughton episodes of Doctor Who."