Taking a side with a jerk

[delericho]

Ever been in a discussion, (in the Real World, in a face-to-face situation)

In real life, thankfully not. Online, it's happened plenty.

where the "side" you agree with has an advocate who is just being a total jerk? You want to participate, and state your view of the topic, but to do so will essentially put you on the same side as someone you find completely repugnant?

Yes. Worse than that, there are some topics where there are so many jerks on one side that anyone who raises arguments agreeing with that side is automatically tarred a jerk (and then generally considered discredited and ignored, for good measure). It's really frustrating at times, because it means that some really important debates are effectively silenced.

What do you do? Enter the discussion with your opinion and ignore the jerk? Stay out of the discussion all together to avoid being related with the jerk? "Join" the other side just to oppose the jerk? Something else?

I'll consider carefully whether it's worth getting involved. Very often, it's just a source of frustration and stress for no benefit, so I'll try to stay clear. This is especially true online, where whatever the outcome of the debate, it ultimately signifies nothing.

If, for whatever reason, I do decide to wade in, then I'll state my opinion as my own, and be sure to state very clearly that it is my opinion, and in no way related to that of the jerk. In fact, I'll generally take pains to denounce the jerkiness of the jerk, in a bid to avoid being tarred with the same brush.

Naturally, it doesn't always work.

 

[Jhaelen]

As a Republican I face this problem far too often.

Hrhr
I have agreed with jerks in the past, but similar to Janx, I try to make it very clear, what exactly I'm in agreement with.

 

[Zombie_Babies]

Places like EN World offer more appropriate settings for debate. However, on the internet these days, there's folks still caught up in the winning and losing. Some feel that refusing to back down, getting the last word, making the other guy lose their cool, playing tricks with semantics, or saying things you can snigger about in private conversations counts as good debate. I'm not one of those people. Debate isn't about scoring points within a social group, or taking people down a notch in ego.

I have to say, I was, at first, amazed that this thread was allowed to go the direction it has. Then I see something like this and remember where I am. Nice one, bro. So, you wanna be an OTTer?

 

[Umbran]

So, you wanna be an OTTer?

I'm not much for cliques.

An aside: Someone seems to have misunderstood me, so I clarified above, and I'll do so here for folks who aren't going to reread. I'm not talking about OTTers, in particular. I'm just talking about people. Funny thing - I have years of experience here before any OTTer showed their face. Not every comment I make is about OTTers.

 

[Bedrockgames]

There are some people, like my wife, who really hates debating things. Since I have friends who like to debate things, this can be seen as a negative attribute on them. Namely, because to non-debaters, they get annoyed that the other person can't just let the matter drop.

.

I am in the same boat. My wife generally perceives debate as being unfriendly or hostile. For some people debate is fun, it is a way of communicating with people you respect, for others it is a sign of disrespect. I like a good debate, but i have also developed a sense of when it may not be appropriate. Or when someone doesn't want you to press them.

 

[Joker]

Don't you people know how to punch?

 

[Zombie_Babies]

I'm not much for cliques.

An aside: Someone seems to have misunderstood me, so I clarified above, and I'll do so here for folks who aren't going to reread. I'm not talking about OTTers, in particular. I'm just talking about people. Funny thing - I have years of experience here before any OTTer showed their face. Not every comment I make is about OTTers.

I really don't think you know who you're talking to. Srsly, your thinly veiled finger pointing was too thinly veiled. But hey, if you wanna pretend then I'm fine with that. I didn't say anything about OTTers in my post either. Right? *winkety-winkety*

Heh, it's like it's back in the day all over again.

 

[Homicidal_Squirrel]

I'm not much for cliques.

An aside: Someone seems to have misunderstood me, so I clarified above, and I'll do so here for folks who aren't going to reread. I'm not talking about OTTers, in particular. I'm just talking about people. Funny thing - I have years of experience here before any OTTer showed their face. Not every comment I make is about OTTers.

You know, had it not been for that bolded part, I'd say cool, no harm no foul. It just appears as if you're angry and are trying to make thinly veiled insults. If it's not what you're trying to do, that's fine.

Now don't get bent out of shape. All I'm saying is that that's what it seems like.

Also, Morrus has already decreed that there are no OTTers, so it would probably be helpful if you, as mod, stopped referring to OTTers. It goes a long way to show that everyone is view the same.

 

[Morrus]

I really don't think you know who you're talking to. Srsly, your thinly veiled finger pointing was too thinly veiled. But hey, if you wanna pretend then I'm fine with that. I didn't say anything about OTTers in my post either. Right? *winkety-winkety*

Heh, it's like it's back in the day all over again.

Welcome to our new rule. Martyr card = automatic-one-day ban. See you tomorrow.

 

[Umbran]

Also, Morrus has already decreed that there are no OTTers, so it would probably be helpful if you, as mod, stopped referring to OTTers.

I intend to. But someone voiced a particular concern I thought deserved the respect of open mention. I even tried to write a version of the explanation without using the term - but the intentional circumspection required seemed pretty darned silly.

And angry? Goodness, no. Nothing to be angry about there.