The most lame Abyssal level

[Henry]

Level 345: The Repiesatory

You arrive in an abyssal layer approximately 10 feet long by 10 feet wide, and 10 feet high.

In the layer is a Dretch. The Dretch has a pie.

Treasure: The Pie.

Adventure Synopsis: The PCs kill the dretch and take his pie.

Adventure Hook: The PCs are hungry for pie.

Concluding the Adventure: Pie tastes good.

Further Adventures: The 346th layer is the Demonic Realm of Frazz'urbb'Pillsbury. He stocks the 345th layer with pies...

 

[Warren Okuma]

Level .666 (the miliplane)
The plane of spammers, telemarketers, and pop up ad programmers. They are all commoners, and they just scream and run away. They have paper and some weird looking worthless wood (plastic, worthless, since they crumble in a magical universe, but barely burnable) for treasure (and a few debased coins worth 1/10 if anyone takes them) and are worth no XP since they do not fight. Maybe you get a couple cp per day of pillaging. At the end of the day they stand back up... and are even poorer.

 

[hamishspence]

Kringus, Demon Prince of Christmas Trees!

I kinda like that

 

[ha-gieden]

It's hard to beat Warren's.

How about this:
The layer resembles (with fearful accuracy) a SpongeBob Squarepants cartoon. SpongeBob is Demonic, and on this plane he is completely invulnerable. Even the most serious of actions somehow manages to set off a series of really lame, stupid events, with your character helplessly stuck in the middle.

I know that would be the scariest layer for me, anyway

 

[green slime]

The Dimension of Darkness! And Pain!

...of course, they're doing repairs, so the lights are on. And the pain comes from a single dretch with a trident, poking you in the shins. There's a vending machine, but it eats all your money and only has Heath bars anyway. Oh, and since the lights are on, the exit's pretty visible.

Demiurge out.

Love it!

 

[green slime]

Lamest plane of the Abyss. aka the plane of legless Demons.

All the demons are inebriated, warwounded, crippled rejects from normal Demonic society. As such, they have no will to continue their existance, merely laying about complaining about how, if it wasn't for that distracting dretch lying just over there (starts to raise hand to point but realises the futility and collapses in a heap again), they'd have scored those gorgeus half a dozen erinyes back on plane 354. Except in far more colourful language, which isn't very grandma friendly. After conversing for more than 12 seconds to anyone, other nearby legless demons start to chuck rocks (which all miss their intended targets), heckle (your father reeked of elderberry wine! All your bases are belong to us!), threaten and otherwise harass the instigator. Persisting in conversation causes the legless demon to start a high-pitched whine, and then slowly melt into a puddle of goo.

Because all the demons here are legless, and are just lying about, the atmosphere is only 1 meter above the plane's surface (or have I confused cause and effect, ah well, it hardly matters), requiring all visiting entities of greater length to either resort to such magics that ensure survival without air (ioun stones, et al), crawl, slither, or walk around stooped over.

 

[Joshua Randall]

We threw around ideas like everything is made out of nerf material. The demons aer only out to tickle you, stupid things like that.

Or maybe they threaten to pinch you, like the guys in the Alltel ad do to Chad.

"Did you just pinch me?"
"Ohhhhh yeah. There's more where that came from."

I hide in the corner and cry like a girl whenever that commercial comes on.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

Actually, a plane for all the crippled veterans of the Blood War has potential...

The lamest (in the sense of stupid and dull) plane of the Abyss ought to have plenty of Stench Cows. In my opinion, anyway.

Lamest plane of the Abyss. aka the plane of legless Demons.

All the demons are inebriated, warwounded, crippled rejects from normal Demonic society.

 

[RodneyThompson]

A room! with a moose!

A mooooooooooose!

 

[VirgilCaine]

A room! with a moose!

...and you can't tell, but that stuff's really itchy.