(Totally-OT) I really need some advice... bad!

[Eraslin]

An interesting thought...

It would almost be interesting to run a poll to find out who amongst the repliers to this thread are currently in a relationship. Then comparing the results of the poll against the responses of each individual in this thread... Might be interesting to see if the people in relationships, or those not in relationships, are liable to reply in one way or the other.

-Eraslin

 

[Darkness]

Re: An interesting thought...

Might be interesting to see if the people in relationships, or those not in relationships, are liable to reply in one way or the other.

What do you think about me, considering my response?

 

[Paul_Klein]

Hey hey, its me again.

No, this isn't a Troll. And its technically not my first post. I had several with Paul Klein (I'm now Paul_Klein), but for some reason I had to re-register.

Anyway...

*Sigh*

Reply: I've been friends with Morgan for 3 years. Been friends with Ann for 2.

I think I have made my decision.

I will simply wait for them to break up. Which, if my observations are correct, could be soon.

Ya see, Ann is generally upset with Morgan. For some reasons anyone would understand, and some reasons that are a little personal (lets just say he can't quite "preform").

Whenever I see them, half the time they seem like a normal couple. The other half she/he is pissed at him/her. They constantly keep talking about breaking up (half-jokingly... in fact they have before for a couple days).

I'd like to think I'm a good reader of people and I don't see their relationship (of a year and a half) lasting too much longer.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to to try to prematurly end it. I'm honestly not an . But I think that Ann might feel if she breaks up with Morgan, then she'll kinda be left high and dry. I figure I'll instill the thought in her mind that there's always Paul.

She knows I like her. She knows I probably have a "crush" on her. I do a lot of things for her. I like to hold her, touch her, whatever... (all "above the belt" of course. Cheating on my best friends isn;t my style and Morgan knows that).

So, I guess I'll wait it out. And I'll give the break-up some time before I make my move.

I just can't "lose" Morgan. He's a good friend, and hell -- I roleplay with him!!

So...is that cool?

 

[Corinth]

There's neither children nor money involved, so the worst you're looking at is some rearrangement of your social circle should things go bad. You seem to have a clue, so act on it.

 

[King_Stannis]

waiting is probably the best option it you can do it. it'll afford you the chance to get her and (if you play your cards right) stay friends with him.

one thing you need to know in situations like this..... it's a huge social blunder NOT to ask your friend his permission to start dating her. it's an even bigger blunder for him to say "no". but by asking him you give him a chance to save a little face. he can then tell others that you two are together with his blessing. you two are happy and, while he may not be happy, at least he's not humiliated.

don't underestimate this simple and formal custom. it's very important.

 

[LostSoul]

don't underestimate this simple and formal custom. it's very important.

True. I had an ex-girlfriend of a good buddy's propose something with me, 5 years after they broke up.

I still should have asked. (Not that I really had a chance, though, but anyways...)

 

[TalonComics]

This is a strange first post.

You didn't say what her dex was, but I advise that you try to get a surprise round off. If you can, blanket the area with fireballs and then send in your front line fighters to flank. If your rogue can maneuver around, you should be all set.

Good luck!

Wow! This post just answered my question about how to redecorate the store! Thanks PC, you're the greatest random encounter I've ever met!

~D

 

[Ridley's Cohort]

Waiting is the right decision.

And King Stannis gave very astute advice. It is amazing how useful the old social conventions are. Those old stick-in-the-muds we young folk laugh at sure know a thing or two.

Having a friend steal a girlfriend/boyfriend is as sucky as it gets. I know women who have lost girlfriends over men, and men who have lost mates over gals. The double-whammy is an unforgivable sin. And don't be surprised if there is collateral damage in relationships with innocent bystanders.

Frankly, I think trying to date someone who is seeing someone else is disrespectful to everyone involved. It is disrespectful to Ann because it demonstrates comtempt for her relationship. It is disrespectful to your friend because it looks like you will stab a buddy in the back to get lucky. And it is disrespectful to yourself. (I leave it as an exercise to the reader to figure out why.)

BTW, it is very common for dating relationships to have rocky times at 3-6 months, and 12-18 months. The first is a transition between just some casual fun thing and a real everyday relationship. The next is when dating good behavior has long since forgotten and there has been enough time to be fed up with normal routines. They may break up over it, they may not.

 

[omedon]

She knows I like her. She knows I probably have a "crush" on her. I do a lot of things for her. I like to hold her, touch her, whatever...

Well it sounds like you know what you are doing. This is the first step.

Whatever you do though, do not tell her you love her. Nothing will end the relationship faster. Even when Morgan is out of the picture you are going to want to hold out on using the L-word for quite some time.

Also you might want to cut back on doing so many things for her. If you keep this up she won't take you seriously. It makes you too much of a sure thing. Nobody is less desirable to a girl than a guy who pampers her constantly and pledges his utter devotion. Girls like mystery not predictibility. She will like you much more, if she feels lucky that you choose to spend your time with her, or that if she doesn't keep you happy that you might leave her for another girl.

Nice guys finish last. Take this from a nice guy.

P.S

All of this is reminding me of a recent episode of friends

 

[adndgamer]

Well, I'd either get it all out in the open, as one person said; or I would just forget it. Boyfriends tend to come and go whereas a friend is going to last a long time (usually). I'd stay as friends, even though it would be really hard.

It sucks, I know. Good luck though.