Regarding buffing in 3.x, I am currently playing in a level 17 party, and planning before a big encounter can easily take 1-2 hours with the 5-10 buffs each character wants/gets.
I can easily see where this could happen, but on the other hand, I have to question why the spell caster players don't have the bread and butter buff spells prepared days / weeks out of game in advance.
Morning spells Cleric. Fighter gets x and y, Rogue gets z, etc.
Morning spells Wizard. Fighter gets q and r, Rogue gets s, etc.
Average pre-encounter Cleric. Fighter gets a and b, Rogue gets c, everyone gets Mass d, etc.
Average pre-encounter Wizard. Fighter gets h, Rogue gets j and k, everyone gets Mass f, etc.
Major pre-encounter Cleric. Fighter gets a, b, c, and d, Rogue gets a and c, everyone gets Mass e, etc.
Major pre-encounter Wizard. Fighter gets m, n, o, and p, Rogue gets a and c, everyone gets Mass e, etc.
Everyone marks it on their sheets. There might be a few minutes of discussion as to whether we should put xyz on the Cleric and the Rogue or not. There might even be a few modifications where some spells that are normally cast are not and some others are added.
But a 1 to 2 hour discussion before a major encounter about every piddly little spell that is going to be cast??? That seems excessively unorganized.
In fact, PC sheets could be printed out with little sections for differences in AC, to hits, saves, etc. for 3 or 4 common sets of spells cast. Fred, you are using the Buff the Fighter #2 Section on your sheet with the addition of a Greater Mage Armor spell for the incorporeal undead.
To me, this sounds like your group is organized in combat for 4E more than you are for out of combat for 3.5. Many people here played 3E/3.5 for 8 years and some of us did not waste this kind of time prepping. It also became a lot better once 3.5 came out and some buff spells like Bull's Strength went from D4+1 buff to +4 buff as well. No dice rolls needed.
I do remember long prep happening in higher level pick up games, even back in 1E and 2E days, but not in campaigns. We've always organized this stuff out of game once it became more than a few spells pre-encounter.