[JOKE] Paraprosdokians
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  1. #1

    [JOKE] Paraprosdokians

    The first time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them.

    Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and is frequently humorous.

    1. Where there's a will . . . I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound . . . some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you . . . we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up . . . we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right . . . only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    9. I didn't say it was your fault . . . I said I was blaming you.

    10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify . . . ." I answered, "a doctor."

    11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    13. I used to be indecisive . . . but now I'm not so sure.

    14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit . . . the target.

    15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    17. I'm supposed to respect my elders . . . but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

    Spread the Laughter,
    Share the Cheer,
    Let's be Happy,
    While we're still here!

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Magsman (Lvl 14)

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Earth That Was
    "A friend in need is a friend to avoid."

  4. #4
    Gallant (Lvl 3)

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Orange County, CA
    Quote Originally Posted by Dannyalcatraz View Post
    And of course, the old classic from Uncle Miltie: “Take my wife...please!”
    Henny Youngman, the classic one-liner.
    XP Dannyalcatraz gave XP for this post

  5. #5
    A "Drizzit" Type-Thing (Lvl 28)

    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    The Stately Pleasure Dome of Xanadu.
    Some cause happiness wherever the go; Paladins, whenever they go.
    Laugh Scott DeWar laughed with this post

  6. #6
    Titan (Lvl 27)

    Dannyalcatraz's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Planet Alcatraz & D/FW
    Quote Originally Posted by Nutation View Post
    Henny Youngman, the classic one-liner.
    Thank you for correcting my brain fart!

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