D&D 5E Player's Attention

jgsugden said:

Again, this doesn't match my experience, either. When you single out a player and cut them off, or boot them, it tends to go poorly - especially these days. I just watched a game disband - mid-session - at the FLGS when the DM came down hard on a 'jokester' in the group and the table thought the DM was out of line. Rather than cutting them off at the table, I'd suggest speaking to them when the other players are not present, expressing your concerns, and asking them privately to adjust.

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I regret that I have only one XP that I can give for this post.

The power dynamic of the group at the table - including the ages of everyone involved and how everyone is related - plays into how the DM can handle the situation. If you don't have a handle on that dynamic, and you just follow generic DMing advice, you are as likely to make things worse as you are to fix a problem.

Over the years I have DMed in a lot of different situations - I DMed a few different friend groups in junior high and high school and college. I've DMed for complete strangers who later became friends. I've DMed for complete strangers who showed up for one session and decided it wasn't for them. I currently DM for one group adult friends I've been gaming with for nearly 20 years and have two other groups that I DM that are pre-teen and teen kids (one that is my kid and their friends, another that is my kid and some cousins). The dynamics of each of these groups are different because of the personalities involved and my relationships to them. With the kids I can and sometimes have to play the role of the "adult in the room" because that's part of my job - I'm not just the DM, but I'm also the adult responsible for making sure a fight doesn't break out or that their lack of interpersonal skills doesn't have one going off in tears because their older brother said something mean to them or whatever. Since I'm the Dad/Uncle/Family Friend In Charge I have a level of authority that is outside of my DM role and group of responsibilities that I have to deal with in addition to the usual DMing ones.

The dynamic is completely different with friends - if I start playing "Dad" to a group of my adult friends they would likely laugh at me, call me an old man and make some Dad jokes at my expense. If I had done that when we were in junior high or high school I likely would have started a fight instead of ending it. If I were to do it with total strangers who knows how they'd react - probably poorly and deservedly so. If someone were to pull something like that on me I'd react poorly too. I don't want to be treated like a kid by someone my own age - nobody reacts well to that.

jgsugden said:

I just watched a game disband - mid-session - at the FLGS when the DM came down hard on a 'jokester' in the group and the table thought the DM was out of line. Rather than cutting them off at the table, I'd suggest speaking to them when the other players are not present, expressing your concerns, and asking them privately to adjust.

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In this case, the DM was disruptive. However, I stand by my advice - teen DMs put up with too much garbage from too many disruptive players just trying to be cool at the expense of others. Banhammer baby!

Clearly, our experiences are very different.

My overall message is keep it fast and flying. I agree information should be presented in bite sized bits - and let the players act on that information!

BookBarbarian said:

The biggest improvement I saw at my table was to switch form asking the group "What do you do?" to asking individuals "What do you do?"

Now every player knows that in a given scenario they are gong to be asked what their character does, they can't just sit around let the bigger personalities at the table make all the decisions until initiative is rolled. So they spend more time thinking about what their character is going to do and the phones just took care of themselves.

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BookBarbarian said:

I also found it helped my players get more equal spotlight which has been a huge bonus to my game too.

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Charlaquin said:

I think this will help with my group’s indecision problem too. It reminds me of the thing where, in a crisis, if you say “someone call an ambulance,” everyone waits for someone else to do it, so you have to tell someone specific to call. It’s the kind of advice that, once you hear it, seems obvious in hindsight. Which is usually the best kind of advice.

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iserith said:

It works. My entire game is run like that, almost as a one-on-one between myself and one other player (when they're not talking among themselves) for a minute before switching to someone else. If a combat ends without finishing the round, I'll mentally stick to initiative order and call on the people who haven't gone that round to kick off whatever activity is next so that they aren't shorted on spotlight. In exploration and social challenges, I go around the table one by one for action declarations, then resolve in the order that makes the most sense.

Everyone gets more or less equal time. No wall flowers in my games.

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Implemented this in our last session with great results, as advertised. Thanks ENWorld!

Now to get people off their frickin' electronics...

dnd4vr said:

The biggest issue at our table is players not paying attention when others are acting out their turns. Our DM is almost at the point of taking cell phones away LOL!

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That's a standard rule in my house when we are playing any game. The only reason to have a phone out is if somebody's at a sporting/school event and we need to find out when to pick them up or if somebody is using their phone to get clarification (mainly an issue on new Magic cards).

pogre said:

I frequently run tables with 8 or sometimes more high school students. Now, I have an advantage as a teacher in keeping folks in line. However, I really push the pace in these games. Not just in combat, but in social interactions. I throw NPCs at them with lots of information. Every lead has some sort of roleplaying payoff.

IME the hardest thing for teen groups is when you have a disruptive player. Teens are very tentative in alienating friends or peers. However, your game will get better if you are willing to cut those players off, and boot repeat offenders.

Good luck!

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Teacher Book Barbarian didn't let me copy his homework, I backstab his paladin.
OP some of my worst gamers and game moments came from my high school years. My "Friends" got together during the week and made a plan. Let see if we can get Jasper to cry during the game. It worked. Some of those gamers are not your friends but just people you hang with (hmm that it hang one of players the rest will pay attention). You will not be able to maintain their full attention. As other have mentioned, skip their pc is they are not ready. Cut the number of players down to those who want to play, and those who just want to hang out. Tell the hang outs if they not ready when it their turn it is an immediate skip with no count down.