Forgive me for not watching all 15 minutes of this video (cough 1:30 cough), but
If this is the case, it's not even an agency question anymore. The question is: have your players graduated from elementary school?
Yes, people play D&D to fight, roll dice, be heroes, and (from earlier in the video) have fun. But if that's your solution to
every situation, maybe D&D isn't the game for you. Worse, if you can't choose your battles, then you're not only missing an important life skill, you're likely to choose a battle that results in you making your final decision as player or character.
To completely derail the thread, feel free to bring up Fail Forward arguments now.