Sooooo....I've been reading a bit here and there about gaming groups breaking up for different reasons, and thought I'd post a few hints about gaming with couples (and kids always add to the mix, don't they? 
).
1. Big one here, and a pet peeve of mine - if you need to apologize, do so to the person you need to, NOT their partner. Apologizing to my husband after fighting with me just leaves me more pissed. If you're big enough to apologize, do it to the right person.
2. If you are going to game with folks who have kids, be prepared to watch your stuff. I have a two year old, who tries to steal dice, pencils, etc. And she also dives into snacks if she can get to them (a two year old on cheetos is not pretty, for anyone
).
3. Unless a couple has dependable sitters (or the money to hire them), you will probably end up gaming at the house of those with kids. Please resist playing with the toys strewn all over (at least too much), and be prepared for several breaks in the action for diaper changes, drinks of water, etc.
4. NEVER comment on her weight. 'nuff said.
5. Invest in jumbo dice if gaming around any child under 5. If you don't have the money, ask the parents to provide a set. To protect their child, they will probably spring for a "house set".
6. Respect the fact that male gamers usually want their girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/etc to at least TRY playing, and be patient. And, hey, if it doesn't work out, maybe the SO would be willing to come and watch a movie while you guys play. But RESPECT that relationship, or you'll alienate both of them.
7. NEVER discipline a child that isn't yours physically. It's OK to say, "Hey, that's mine, please give it back.", and then get your stuff back. But if the kid needs a spanking, swat on the butt, or time out, let the parents do it. The parents should be quick to take care of their children, as well. If a child is in your way, either ask the parents to move the child, or ask them if you can do so (my group knows to gently move my daughter by putting a hand in the small of her back, and nudging her. She moves on her own.).
8. Hint for parents - the other gamers do NOT want to hear about potty training, etc. Save that for Gramma. Unless, of course, they ASK. Also, other gamers do not necessarily want to hold your baby.
9. NEVER insult a parent in an argument by saying, "You're a bad mother!" (or father, or whatever). Don't cross that line. Once you say that, it's over. Trust me, I know - it happened to me. And very rarely can you take that back. If they are bad parents, call Family Services - and why are you gaming with people like that, anyway?
10. The children will always come first. Don't ever think different. Much as the parents like you, the group, the game - Their kids are their kids. If a child has a nightmare, and needs to cuddle and have a story, the game will either have to wait, or you guys will have to forge ahead without that player. And, of course, there will be some cancelled games from time to time.
11. Please learn the girlfriend/wife/child(rens) names! Write them on your character sheet if you need to! It's much nicer to refer to someone by name rather than a pronoun.
12. Try to be respectful of the parents and keep the language at least PG rated when the kids are around.
Those are all I can think of right now - anyone want to add anything?
).1. Big one here, and a pet peeve of mine - if you need to apologize, do so to the person you need to, NOT their partner. Apologizing to my husband after fighting with me just leaves me more pissed. If you're big enough to apologize, do it to the right person.
2. If you are going to game with folks who have kids, be prepared to watch your stuff. I have a two year old, who tries to steal dice, pencils, etc. And she also dives into snacks if she can get to them (a two year old on cheetos is not pretty, for anyone
).3. Unless a couple has dependable sitters (or the money to hire them), you will probably end up gaming at the house of those with kids. Please resist playing with the toys strewn all over (at least too much), and be prepared for several breaks in the action for diaper changes, drinks of water, etc.
4. NEVER comment on her weight. 'nuff said.
5. Invest in jumbo dice if gaming around any child under 5. If you don't have the money, ask the parents to provide a set. To protect their child, they will probably spring for a "house set".
6. Respect the fact that male gamers usually want their girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/etc to at least TRY playing, and be patient. And, hey, if it doesn't work out, maybe the SO would be willing to come and watch a movie while you guys play. But RESPECT that relationship, or you'll alienate both of them.
7. NEVER discipline a child that isn't yours physically. It's OK to say, "Hey, that's mine, please give it back.", and then get your stuff back. But if the kid needs a spanking, swat on the butt, or time out, let the parents do it. The parents should be quick to take care of their children, as well. If a child is in your way, either ask the parents to move the child, or ask them if you can do so (my group knows to gently move my daughter by putting a hand in the small of her back, and nudging her. She moves on her own.).
8. Hint for parents - the other gamers do NOT want to hear about potty training, etc. Save that for Gramma. Unless, of course, they ASK. Also, other gamers do not necessarily want to hold your baby.
9. NEVER insult a parent in an argument by saying, "You're a bad mother!" (or father, or whatever). Don't cross that line. Once you say that, it's over. Trust me, I know - it happened to me. And very rarely can you take that back. If they are bad parents, call Family Services - and why are you gaming with people like that, anyway?
10. The children will always come first. Don't ever think different. Much as the parents like you, the group, the game - Their kids are their kids. If a child has a nightmare, and needs to cuddle and have a story, the game will either have to wait, or you guys will have to forge ahead without that player. And, of course, there will be some cancelled games from time to time.
11. Please learn the girlfriend/wife/child(rens) names! Write them on your character sheet if you need to! It's much nicer to refer to someone by name rather than a pronoun.
12. Try to be respectful of the parents and keep the language at least PG rated when the kids are around.
Those are all I can think of right now - anyone want to add anything?
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